Does anyone else think "quality time" with your kids is a load of rubbish?

[toomuchtodo]

Just read somewhere "we have quality time, much better than quantity!"

what a cop out, kids don't recognise "quality time", they just like to spend a bit of their day with mum or dad.

whenever I hear "quality time" I want to shake the parents.

All prefixes to time are bollocks

Thus quality time, down time, me time - all that bollocks. It's just time.

I agree. Just made up to fit the governemtns agenda probably.

I recall a report years ago which said children didn't want quality time, they wanted quantity time. They didn't like the intensity of quality time, they just liked parents to be there in the background, to be available.

Ds1 wouldn't have thanked anyone for quality time. Even as a toddler he gently brushed me off when I tried to join in his games. I'd be merrily building up his bricks for him to knock over and suddenly realise he was behind the sofa, happily playing with his cars instead. He's adult now and married but he's still the cat that walks by himself.

I work full time but my kids come with me. In the UK I used to work full time and I had 'quality time'. Now I just have the kids there and they ignore me but in the UK the kids were quite insecure and demanding generally. Now they are very secure kids who are very independent (a little too much). This is my experience so I would generally agree based on my experience quality time is a crock of

I spent a fortune yesterday taking dd and ds out and about as it was a bank holiday & I felt I should be doing something special!? Tbh they were a pair of ungrateful whingers too! Today we've been out in the garden, round the block a few times on bikes, brought the wheelie bin in (whoo hoo!?) and unpacked a tesco delivery. Spent no money & everyone's had a lovely day.

My DH did that the other day and was very upset at the end of the day and everybody was grumpy with each other. On the sunday I said do nothing and he gave me a look as if to say what a stupid thing to say. We had a lovely day and were all much happier.

I think sometimes they just want you on hand to serve the drinks.

Thats all I want dh for in the evening when dc are in bed

Agreed, oh any pick up their toys, defend them in a row, listen to their moaning about how horrible their borther/sister is........They don't actually want they want the idea of you, maybe

I quite agree that you can often have a better time doing not much, or something that doesn't cost much, rather than something organised and expensive. I really hate the idea that on Bank holidays we are all supposed to go out and do something special just because it's the Bank holiday. Everywhere is very crowded and most activities cost a fortune.

Ds would rather just go to the beach with a packed lunch (only costs for bus fare, and perhaps an ice cream), or spend time messing around in the garden, or with his Playmobil than go out somewhere just for the sake of it. That's not to say we never go out to anything else, but we would be selective, and only go to places/activities he really likes (e.g.steam railways, cricket matches). Also if you don't go out to that sort of thing very often, it is quite a treat, but if you do it all the time it becomes boring (as well as costing an arm and a leg).

I work, so does DP and we can get caught up doing house stuff so yes I make sure we have "quality time" and that sometimes means we leave the house so we don't get caught up with chores etc. Why would you want to shake me? I like to take my kids out and do fun things, some for free, some like the Aquarium on sunday cost too bloody much! What's wrong with that?

It's a shame deliveries don't come in cardboard boxes nowadays. My bro and I used to have a whale of a time when the groceries came in a big box we could play with.

I try whereever possible never to have fun with my kids! they leave me alone to read my book then.

Thomcat I think you miss the point, sometimes the kids don't want to do 'fun things' they just want to do the washing up with you and play in the cardboard box. That is quality time for them,. not you perhap but for them and isn't that the point of 'quality time'.

Quality time is better than quantity time though.

I could spend the whole day at home with my kids and spend the day doing 1000 things and all of us being a bit moany and none of us going to bed particulaly happy at the day we have just spent together, or I couold set aside soem time that I didn't do anything else but have fun with them, be it going for a walk, going swimming, driving to the coast or whatever. All coming home tired and happy.

I want the quality time for me as well as them, maybe even more so???

Mary, sorry X posts.

Yes, as a working parent I need the 'quality time' as I see it. But there's nothing wrong with that is there?

However I just don't like the phrase it means to me 'I'm such a great Mum look at me time' Its the phrase that bugs me really.

Thomcat, no nothing wrong but you or anybody doesn't have to justify it by giving it a label.

yes byut quality time doesnt have to be a specific activity, like soft play that costs the earth or a trip to the zoo the also costs the earth. it can be hanging out at home weeding the garden

i see some parents panic over "oh shit we have nothing arranged for this weekend"
so waht?
just chill

I think children need a balance of both.

I think quality time for me means time where they get my undivided attention - that can be in the home or doing something outside the house.

My DC's need time just to play around and do their own thing but also need time with DH and I too.

I love giving them new experiences and going new places with them - and they love it too. I can't look back and remember any of teh countless times I must have played with soapy bubbles at teh kitchen sink, but I can still recall clearly the days at the beach with a picnic, climbing with my DF, bbq's on the shore of Loch Lomond and countless other 'quality time' activities.

I look back and think now of those times as a kind of 'gift' from my parents. The times that they put us, and having fun with us, first. That is one helluva gift to give a child imo

well said Naily and Seudonim

i spend a helluva lot of time with my kids.On the phone on mumsnet...cleaning etc. Dont knock it. I am being the primary carer and proud of it.

Quality time is the domain of xenia mohze and anna888 who also think going back to work 2 weeks post partum is actually doing the baby a favour

I'm not saying it has to be a special activity. But actually I do really like it when me and DP take the kids out, doesn't have to actually cost anything. Equally I like it when we we have an afternoon playing water games in the garden. It's still what I would call a fun afternoon, or if you like you can call it quality time. With both of us working and DP doing lots of work / personal stuff on the PC at home unless I drag him away from it we don't get time together as a family. I prefer there to be no PC he can sneak off to.

'quality time'seems to be 2 hours when it suits the mum or dad when they have a glass of wine and a book and its all parfait

quantity parenting is about wiping the bum, doing the boring stuff interspersed with fragments of quality stuff when it happens - naturally

Mary - I've never given 'it' a label in my life btw!

Cut the plug off, take the batteries out of the mouse. That solves that problem.

NaO - I think you'll find that you have put Anna888 in the wrong catogory. Anna is a SAHM who believes that when children are tiny they need their mums at home.