Does anyone else think "quality time" with your kids is a load of rubbish?

[toomuchtodo]

Just read somewhere "we have quality time, much better than quantity!"

what a cop out, kids don't recognise "quality time", they just like to spend a bit of their day with mum or dad.

whenever I hear "quality time" I want to shake the parents.

Thomcat glad to hear it. Still think you cut the plug off the computer and hold to ransom.

whoops ! sorry if i have done!

It's wireless and I didn't know that a mouse had betteries!

Anyway - I choose to take the kids out for the afternoon with my DP. If I can I'll do it once a week. So what! In between I do all the other stuff that goes hand in hand with being a mum and I try and be a good mum.

thomcat WE ARE IN AGREEMENT!

chill baby!

I'm agreeing with you, have fun and relax just don't give it a label.

Yes they do. I didn't know time my kids broke my mouse, BTW I'm ignoring my ki9ds this pm and DS is sleeping because he's going to the cinema for his quality time with Dad this PM and DD is staring at the telly playing Bratz. Its great.

can I just say that I am totally chilled. Sorry if it didn't sound that way. I'm nearly always very chilled. I am annoyed over on the 'disbaled person parksin M&T space' thread, but really am not on this one. Sorry if I sounded that way. It's all good I promise and all said with smile, even my 'so what' comment!

And I don't label 'it'!!!

oh Thomcat i was kidding
what you are sying i argree with but have just ptu it a different way

loving the mouse / batteries tip. May use that very soon!
He's obsessed witht he PC. He taes photos and then spends hours on paint shop pro or whatever it is touching things up! Or er missus!

I've made his photo thing sound a bit weird, it isn't! LOL!

Oh dear you could accidenly disconnect something. I couldn't stand it myself. My DH used to work from home until I drove him crazy because he was always on the computer working, selfish I always thought. He has an office now.

He probably has the office more to get away from me and my quality time! 'what you doing? how long will you be?'

lol MaryPOp1!

I agree with you all!!
And am feeling kinda famous I think it was me being told off which led to this
(I'll be vv. embarassed now if it wasn't)

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I think that to the child, wiping their bum can be quality time! I think any time with their primary carer in the house is quality to them. Even if you are all in seperate rooms, or you're in the kitchen cooking and they're out playing, they know you're there and that's important; and they can come in and out with questions and demands and that IS quality family life.

Of course it's good to give full on one to one attention too but I think it's a more adult centred view to value one over the other.

IMO the term "quality time" was invented by people who feel guilty about not spending enough time with their kids for whatever reason. It salves their conscience to to describe the time they do spend with them as quality time. People who do spend a lot of time with their children know the term is meaningless - kids just like being with their parents whether they are doing something special or doing nothing (I always say the great thing about having kids is that even when you are doing nothing you are still doing something)

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I think quality time is really important. With quality time I mean setting everything aside for a while and just being available for my children.

I think it's all about balance isn't it? I'm a WAHM starting a business so I do have to try and get both forms of "time" spent with my DS into our lives, purely because the work-at-home balance is extremely hard to achieve without planning (in my case it is...)

I love involving DS in my work where possible (I run a baby related business), and also in the day-to-day running of the house (what little I do of it ) and as I'm with him, or atleast near him all the time (my MIL does childcare for us at our house) he gets a LOT of quantity time.

BUT I also find it is important for us to have "activities" that we either go out to do (nothing that costs money mind) like trips to the park or the woods, or the museum or something we plan and do at home: painting, playdough, storytime or building a den together.

Yes, I guess I do make more of an effort to do these things because I am working sometimes (albeit at home). We have been Attachment Parenting DS and I feel it is necessary to maintain our connection by spending "time in" together as well as "time out" (no not THAT kind of time out!)

TBH the "activities" is as much for my benefit as for his - I feel like the computer is eating me sometimes...

Wiping Bums in my house is Quality Time I'm afraid. My 4yo loves telling and showing me what shapes he's made and if I don't look and am suitably impressed then don't I know it!!!

I agree with the person who said you can have quality time wiping their bum. I think by setting up this as an either/or proposition it implies that spending less time is better, which I really don't think is right. I actually think the mundane stuff is what makes a relationship.

I agree with the person who said you can have quality time wiping their bum. I think by setting up this as an either/or proposition it implies that spending less time is better, which I really don't think is right. I actually think the mundane stuff is what makes a relationship.

i think what that parent means is that the time they spend with their child feels right for both parent and child. if i spend time with my children when i am completely zonked and all i want to do is sleep or get some fresh air alone, it is definately not 'quality' time.

its definately not a cop out though. a cop out is not taking the time that you rightfully need to relax and regain energies and then taking out your stress on your children.