Has anyone's children been in foster care/ respite?

[essbee]

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It sounds to me like SS are trying to support you and your son to stay at home. Don't worry too much about the 'horror stories' ; if the papers could print the true details most of the nation would agree about why the kids couldn't go back; and there's a whole court process surrounding it. If you're really worried about this see a childcare solicitor (should give you a free consultation) because they should put your mind at rest about your rights if you agree to foster care for short periods to help out. Don't feel ashamed of it if you use it; what's important is you keep sane and can keep being there for your children!

dd has respite(she is there tonight|) I understand how you feel it is so hard to say you can't cope. I do hope you can get some help as it sounds like you need a break.

I haven't read it all sorry

But in my area you can't do respite care unless you register as a foster carer

DH & I are registered childminders and would like to offer time out for parents - but we can't unless we register as foster carers - which is a bit much comitment for us atm

Can you get direct payments (I think they are called) to pay a Childminder to get you some time off??

Sorry if this is all info you have or irrelevent

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Essbee I wish I knew some way to help. I hope ds calms down soon.

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oh essbee, I remember meeting you and your dc's a few years ago and your ds seemed such a lovely boy, placid even. Has SS seen the extent of which he's capable of?

I second what people say about CMs. A local lady camped out outside her local SS until they helped her. They now pay a friend who's a CM to have her youngest all day Friday, and to drop off and collect the other dc from school. They also cover her for one weekend day a month. Not a lot, but it's something.

She had to agree to do parenting classes in return which she jumped at lol She said she'd do anything for the relief.

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Essbee - whereabouts are you?

respite is perfectly normal and shouldn't be viewed as admiting defeat.
being a parent is a full time job, even more so when the child has sn.....if you can think of any other job that ,makes you work 24/7 then let me know.

respite will give you both time apart so that things are little eaier when he returns, you will have had some more energy and wont feel so run down.

dont listen to these horror stories of children being taken away.....these cases are never reported properly and usually involve various other factors that are never released.

As a foster carer I have done respite fostering on a number of occasions. Usually to give parents a break from a difficult situation. Each and every child returned home, none were "taken away" from their families permanently.

Also, many years ago we fostered a little boy with sn and we had a respite programme set up for him where-by he went to another carer every other weekend to give us a break.

Hope this helps

oh essbee, I'm sorry thing didn't look up (after his tummy thing - it all sounded so positive then didn't it).

Still, it does sound like things are moving in the right direction. Did your help start this Saturday?

good luck with the paed tomorrow.

essbee ds1 is currently at respite (with gooseegg) I pick him up in an hour and a half- he's been there since 10am. I pay for it with direct payments. To get them you need to request a care assessment from SS, then (once they've agreed they will help) you ask for dp's. Actually I've written a rather basic introduction to direct payments on my website so rather than write it all out again look here .

What level of DLA do you get? You may be entitled to come carers- unless you earn more than £80 something a week. I can't remember which level of DLA you need though.

Outside of dp's I think you might struggle. Your area might be better than mine but my council has recently shut the one respite centre that would have been suitable for ds- they now have to pay for people to go outside the area. That's the second respite centre that has closed in the last 2 years.

When you talk to ss mention the impact on dd as well. Part of the reason we get it is so we can take ds2 and ds3 out, otherwise they're stuck in all the time.

Also have you applied to the NAS befriender scheme? My friend uses that quite successfully.

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Oh essbee, I wish I could help, but I feel pretty useless. I am thinking of you lots though.x

You should be receiving carers allowance, if you're on benefits you may be entitled to the higher rate of carers. If not then you definitely get the standard rate. Get the forms today.

Hope the paed appt goes well, essbee. Agree that a full benefits entitlement check sounds like a good idea. Sorry everything is so rough right now.

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