Has anyone's children been in foster care/ respite?

[essbee]

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respite for us is when our dd1 goes into a hospice called zoe's place. it's a lovely place in liverpool, near alder hey but dd1 has a lot of problems including a poor immune system so when she mixes with a lot of other poorly children it's inevitable that she will end up ill. i don't know what we should do, everyone with a sn child should get a break for themselves as well as sn child and the family. absolutely no shame in needing a break when you put up with so much more from having a sn child. breaks should be easily available and accomadate all childrens needs.

Oh Essbee I am so so sorry to hear that things are getting worse with your ds. What a terrible time you must be having. I really do feel for you.

I have a friend who has a son who as Aspergers and he is actually away at a boarding school during the week and comes home at weekends. He was a real handful but has settled down a lot since he's been at the new school. What about considering this as an option? Oh and there is no way they can afford paying private, so don't worry about cost. I could find out some more details about how they managed this, if you are interested.

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essbee I provide respite care for several children with asd and I'm not too far away from you.
At present I only have space for occasional evening/overnight care for a child of your ds' age, but please get in touch if you think I could help in any way.
Also several of my parents are very happy to give references and talk about their experiences of respite if you would like me to put you in touch with any of them.
Actually I think you know someone whose ds often comes to me.

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I am just off out to take the dog for a walk but will email you later!
I know I can't make Thursday though, but can chat later when I email you.
Got to go - the dog is chewing my leg.

oh essbee, i'm so glad that you have made this connection. sounds like you do wonderful work, goosegg.

oh essbee, i'm so glad that you have made this connection. sounds like you do wonderful work, goosegg.

so glad i said it twice!

essbee, I hope you find some help - but I'm assume that the reason Kerrymum saw the story in the paper about not getting the children back is because it is newsworthy - rather than typical. A story along the lines of "essbee said it was brilliant - both children were fostered for a week and she caught up on sleep and fixed the damage that ds had inflicted on the house. After a week dd came back and they had a lovely week together baking cakes, watching movies and haing a friend to tea. Now the family is back together and essbee says she feels renewed and able to cope for another x months." wouldn't really make the news, but bet that this happens more in reality than the children being taken.

essbee lizp is right , also if you are in receipt of dla your local authority have a responsibility to help you and ds

essbee it's lovely to hear you are going to finally get the break you so obviously deserve. i feel guilty partly about her needing to go but really whether i'm doing the right thing by her health. we've had a good time with her health at the moment but i don't know whether that's because i've had to stop her mixing with so many other children, which is obviously making her delays in social development much worse or whether her health is just improving by itself. unfortunately there's only one way to find out but i know if she comes back ill after going away for 1 night then my life for the next two weeks is going to be s**t. it won't be fair on dd1 and that's where most of my guilt lies. i know from past experiences how good the break is but in our situation the break can go from making us feel great and refreshed to a life of waiting around in hospitals, moping up sick day and night and constantly worrying whether she might end up back on a ventilator. enjoy the break, try not to worry about the housework on your break just make time for yourself and the rest of the family and have fun, you really do deserve it.

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My DSIL used to do regular weekend respite for twins with ASD.

It was the familes life line. They used to go to her one weekend per monyj for friday, Saterday and were picked up at teatime on Sunday.

It was how the family coped, gave everyone a break.

My ss is entitled to respite, but rarely got any. he now receives it through his school (sn school). It gives his mum the time that she nbeeds to have a break. And for his sister too.

My friend is a childminder and provides respite for autsistic children and/or their siblings at weekends/.

i ope you do hget some help.

Could you get your ds recognised as a "Child in Need" by our ss? This shoul;d enable you to get extra resources including respite funding?

Go for it, essbee. Everyone deserves a break, especially people who are dealing with kids with special needs day in day out. Ask social services for direct payments to pay goosegg, maybe? She sounds fab.

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essbee you can ask ssd for a carers assessment even if you don't get carers allowance, they should offer you this assessment or they should have done when ds was recognised as child in need, this will look at your needs and those of your other children in relation to needing time with you.

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My dd1 goes to respite every saturday. She enjoys it and we enjoy the break. SS are now discussing overnight care as she was a bit young before. I get on great with her carer.
We only got it after SS were involved with us after Dd2 drank priton and I took her to A&E and the hospital reported us to SS because she had stratch marks all over her body from dd1, SS decided that we were not at fault but we really needed respite care, voila, one carer