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Original poster

Bf hates my kids

95 replies

Tracey321 · 16/03/2018 16:08

I have been with my bf for 5yr now I have 2 children form a previous relationship and we have a 3yr old together
To cut a long story short he hate my other 2 children he calles them all the time and is very controlling he will not let our 3 yr old near my other 2 children I have to keep them away from each other my other 2 children are not aloud in the same room as my bf and he hate me doing stuff for them I don’t know what to do for the best do I get rid of him for my 2 children or do I keep him for the sake of our daughter we have together

OP posts:
Qvar · 16/03/2018 16:20

No, hes making things shit for you, not your kids.

Leave or you are an abuser too

AnnieAnoniMouse · 16/03/2018 16:20

You cannot be serious?

Please tell me your oldest two live with their Dad and only visit you?!

Original poster
Tracey321 · 16/03/2018 16:20

I have no where to go and it’s my house he moved in with us

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fuzzyduck33 · 16/03/2018 16:21

Of course you get rid of him, he is abusing two of your three children!!!! This should be a no brainier. Did he pretend to like them at first op?

gingergenius · 16/03/2018 16:22

Phone the police if he's aggressive and threatening and they will escort him off the property

Qvar · 16/03/2018 16:23

iF IT'S YOUR HOUSE, TELL HIM TO GET OUT WHILST HOLDING YOUR PHONE.

WHEN HE BECOMES AGGRESSIVE, CALL THE POLICE

IT REALLY IS THAT SIMPLE

YOU JUST HAVE TO GIVE ENOUGH OF A SHIT ABOUT YOUR KIDS

DO YOU?

Whydomypubeslooklikeanest · 16/03/2018 16:23

Please contact women's aid. They can guide you through this.

Original poster
Tracey321 · 16/03/2018 16:24

Yes the first 2-3 yr was good he would do stuff with them then he turned

OP posts:
ChaosAndPiss · 16/03/2018 16:24

Call the police first along with a locksmith. Then tell him to fuck off.

Whydomypubeslooklikeanest · 16/03/2018 16:24

IT REALLY IS THAT SIMPLE

It really isn't that simple to leave an abusive relationship ffs.

Dancingmonkey87 · 16/03/2018 16:24

Is it any surprise they have an attitude with him when they treat them like that are they boys by any chance? Last thing you want is him getting physical with them especially as they get older. For the sake of your dc get out of this relationship. If it’s your house ring the police and have him forcibly removed.

MyRelationshipIsWeird · 16/03/2018 16:25

If you don’t split with him you will be complicit in any abuse that your DCs suffer/witness.

Even your younger one is being abused by being singled out and treated differently to her siblings - this causes all sorts of issues for children.

You need to get him out ASAP and start taking care of your DCs. If you don’t have anyone to be with you then call the police on 101 ir women’s aid to see if someone can help you as this is a high risk time for abusive men to escalate their behaviour to full on violence (assuming he hasn’t already)

Seriously you need higher standards for yourself and your DCs. Good luck getting help. If you stay with him you risk your DCs being taken into care as you are not protecting them.

Qvar · 16/03/2018 16:25

yes it really is

I never said it was easy

But it genuinely is that simple

You just have to stick to it.

Original poster
Tracey321 · 16/03/2018 16:26

That is very true

OP posts:
dany174 · 16/03/2018 16:28

Maybe call the National Domestic Violence Helpline

They should know the best steps for you to to take in getting him to leave your house.

www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk

Bexter801 · 16/03/2018 16:28

Undoubtedly get rid of him for your children,and yourself.....do you really want to be with someone like that? Would you be able to forgive yourself in years to come,if you stay with him

Original poster
Tracey321 · 16/03/2018 16:29

No they live with me there not aloud to see there dad as he has an unstable mental health problem

OP posts:
gingergenius · 16/03/2018 16:29

Honestly getting a physically aggressive man out of the house is far far easier and simpler that getting rid of one who is emotionally abusive.

I've been in both situations. Getting rid of the one who was shouty and physically aggressive was easy compared to the other one!

DioneTheDiabolist · 16/03/2018 16:30

Get rid of him for all your children's sake.

50ShadesOfEarlGrey · 16/03/2018 16:30

You and your children are being abused, you have to get rid of him.

I assume he works? If so pack up his stuff, leave it outside and get the locks changed. You can text him at the time he finishes work. Do you have anyone that can be with you in the house at the time of his return?
If he gets difficult and it sounds as though he will, then call the police.

Another one saying talk to Women’s Aid.

JKCR2017 · 16/03/2018 16:30

My oh was in a similar situation growing up. His step dad and the dad of his half siblings didn’t seem to like him, never bonded with him etc. They didn’t get on at all. It has really affected my oh. He gets all emotional talking about it. His mum was also scared to get away but seeing the impact it had on my oh is heart breaking. His stepfather died after an illness and although it was extremely sad for his mother and their children he said it was a kind of relief from the mental abuse he endured for years and years!

You need to get away! It is not healthy for you, your 3yo and especially your older children.

Have you got any family that will help you get away from him? Take you in?

He took on my own son from a previous relationship and he would never treat him any differently because he knows how that feels. 😢

I wish you the best of luck.

Eastersnake · 16/03/2018 16:31

Get rid for the sake of you all

Original poster
Tracey321 · 16/03/2018 16:32

No I couldn’t forgive myself but do I risk getting beat up by him when I’m trying to make him leave I don’t want to call the police as they will send social services due to it being a domestic

OP posts:
MorningCuppa · 16/03/2018 16:32

What a disgusting man he is.
You get rid of HIM for the sake of all 3 of your children, tell him to leave and if he starts being abusive or won't leave you call the police and get rid of him. He's abusing you and your children.

hairycoo · 16/03/2018 16:33

I feel sorry for you but most of all your children. If the eldest one is 14 Im betting your dp is planning to kick them out the minute they turn 16. Go get help from womans aid now, and start repairing the relationship between you and your two eldest children, because I guarantee you that they will hold you equally responsible for their shitty childhood once they are adults.