I need to become a better mum

[NuttyMuffins]

I am crap, really I am.

i know what you mean, have you seen my aibu thread 'to wish i had never discoverd mumsnet'

on the other hand, no don't look, mumsnet bad, mumsnet bad

LOL, will go look

You think I'm going to say that sounds sad??? Do you remember the hours I day I used to be on here, I was almost never off! It sucks you in but once you manage to cut it down, RL gets easier to handle.

NuttyMuffins, I have just read this and you sounded really sad at the start but you sound so much better already!
Like lots of people have already said, I could've started this thread!
I'm a single mum with one DD aged 2.10years and my biggest problem is my computer too. I'm very good and wait until DD has gone to bed before I put it on, but I'm usually on it until 2am (time flies when you're having fun and all that!). So I tend to get up very late which leaves me little time to do housework and interact with my own child

There have been many occasions where I have stumbled upon DD drawing on the bannister/walls/carpet/her legs/my quilt with my favourite lipstick or ramming DVDs into the VCR because she is bored.
So I will too take a pledge: to be off this damn computer by 12midnight At The Very Latest.

Having said that, we do go out to the shops every other day (even if it's just to buy a pint of milk).
We also have one day a week when we get the arts and crafts stuff out (paint/glue/water etc) and I play with her. Admittedly, it's just so that she doesn't smear it on the walls
I try to organise my chores so that I'm always in the same place as DD. Like when I put the washing out, I give her some bubbles to play with in the garden, so we talk about them and she plays a game where she blows them at the washing.

I see you're in the West Midlands but I don't suppose you're anywhere near me since you talked about having a day out in B'ham...

Anyway, good luck with keeping off MN and remember, you are not a crap mum!

if the 4 year old has a tantrum when leaving places try giving him a count down. "we are leaving in 10 minutes so make sure you go on all the things you want to." "5 minutes left - do you want to go on the slide, swings etc a few more times." "we are going in 2 minutes" "1 minute left guys" "right come on lets go home and have a nice drink and snack"

or something along those lines.

nuttymuffins i wrote a similar thread on here about not having any energy to do anything, just sitting in the house all day on MN and the like, getting stressed cos ds is irritable and clearly bored.

how about going on a bike ride? it will boost your energy levels and make you feel better.

re swimming. i think the ratios only apply to children under 8. ours is one adult to 2 under 8s.

also where in the w. mids are you. if you want some adult company i'd be happy to meet you.

read the whole thread now and your post at 20:01 actually had me welling up. glad you are feeling more positive.

i think i need to take a leaf out of your book. i seem to spend my life on here, then getting annoyed with ds when he won't just sit nicely and play with his toys and its really not his fault he just wants me to play with him. oh dear now i'm welling up again

Re swimming, do any pools near you run classes for kids/have separate teaching pools, would it be possible to book one or more of your kids into some class and combine it with having a swim yourself in the other pool? or is money tight?

Are there any mumsnetters in your town/area, do you know? Perhaps you could start a separate thread asking others what sort of days out they enjoy taking kids of about the ages of yours, positive experiences they've had, new things to do. Could you ask if anyone knows about fun activities in your area or city? How about aiming to go out x days a week, do something special in one day a week, and have some quiet activities at home time - a reading hour for your older kids during which you give yourself permission to play on mumsnet, and then go and do something else until after bedtime.

Ask your kids for ideas on things they'd enjoy and make plans to do stuff in advance.

Does your local area have any toy libraries? Our local library runs a toy library where you can borrow toys the way you borrow books. And another London local authority lends out games and things from the library for a small fee. Try asking about other local mumsnetters.

Nutty just wondered if you are around and how it's going?

Every day I try and do an outing, reading and an activity. If I do those things with my kids then they tend to be happy to play the rest of the time.

The outing might only be to the local shops or park or a friends, we tend to read a few books through the day as I am not very good at remembering the bedtime read and for an activity we do things like make some fairy cakes, colouring/painting, sticking etc.

Maybe try and set aside some time to plan a few simple things and then give it a go?

bump

Just found this thread, how's it going nutty??