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Original poster

Massive argument, all in tears - over tights... was I wrong??

62 replies

somersetsoul · 14/03/2018 15:21

10yo dd is not understanding no at the moment. This morning she was given tights to wear as it's not as warm as yesterday (socks were allowed)

Half an hour of arguing and with me shouting v.loudly she finally put her tights on.

Dd2 was in tears, I was in tears! What a morning and all before 8.30! I'm 8weeks pg with number 3, they don't know that so am also hormonal.

I feel awful and that school will massively judge me as they both went in upset. Was I in the wrong? I can't give in as then it will be expected. Any ideas on how else I could have handled it without it ending that way?

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MaunderHunt · 14/03/2018 15:23

Why does it matter if she wears them or not? If she doesn’t then she gets cold, if she’s not allowed she gets in trouble. Either way she faces the consequences of her choice.

N2986 · 14/03/2018 15:23

If she's ten I would have just let her wear socks and have cold legs Blush

Raven88 · 14/03/2018 15:23

You were right, you should never give in, that's how they get you

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Seeline · 14/03/2018 15:24

At 10, she is old enough to know that tights are warmer than sock, but if she wants to wear socks why not?

Unless you are somewhere very cold, spring is definitely lurking (at the moment) and I would have thought socks would be fine.

Pick your battles Smile

Original poster
somersetsoul · 14/03/2018 15:25

The wind is bitter today. Yesterday was a lot warmer. They're ankle socks so I didn't want her getting cold.

OP posts:
childmindingmumof3 · 14/03/2018 15:25

So long as she is wearing tights or socks I wouldn't fight about it.

hotchocolate86 · 14/03/2018 15:26

My daughter hates tights and won’t wear them so she wears knee high socks every day. When it’s exceptionally cold like when we had all the snow last week she will agree to wear black leggings under her dress. Would that be something your daughter would agree to do and that the school would allow?

GrockleBocs · 14/03/2018 15:26

By 10 they're perfectly capable of understanding the relationship between clothing and keeping warm. If you're really bothered ask her to put a pair in her bag in case she feels cold and leave her to it :)

ShapelyBingoWing · 14/03/2018 15:26

I wouldn't personally have picked this battle. I'd have let her put socks on, reiterated that her legs would get cold and put the tights in her school bag so she could change into them if she wanted.

childmindingmumof3 · 14/03/2018 15:26

If she got cold today in socks she'd have worn tights tomorrow.

Etymology23 · 14/03/2018 15:26

I hate and have hated tights for basically as long as I can remember. Could she have trousers as an option so she always has a choice? E.g it’s cold today, would you like to wear tights or trousers?

Aprilmightmemynewname · 14/03/2018 15:26

At ten she needs to be making some decisions of her own. With a baby on the way you would be wise to allow her to grow up a bit!
At 10 (when I was pregnant) I showed dd 10 how to make a cuppa!! Genius idea for when you are feeding the baby!

Chienrouge · 14/03/2018 15:28

At 10 she’s old enough so make those decisions for herself. If she got cold, she’d know for next time.

retirednow · 14/03/2018 15:28

Oh dear, what a horrible start to the day, the school won't judge you. Give her the tights, she can put them in her bag to change into, if she wants to wear socks let her, can she wear trousers when it's cold.if she got to school and everyone else had tights in she would have put hers on anyway It's not worth the hassle, when are you going to tell them the good news, congratulations. Talk to them both tonight and say it wasn't worth arguing about, everyone ended up getting upset. Flowers

Greensleeves · 14/03/2018 15:29

"You were right, you should never give in, that's how they get you"

Bloody hell. Fighting talk Shock

I would have let her wear the socks..but I don't think it was parenting crime of the century to make her wear the tights. Mine are teenagers and refuse to dress sensibly when it's cold/wet, I can't win those battles so I don't fight them, but I let them know that it worries me and I would prefer them to wear a jumper/coat. It's just caring, she knows that really.

notgivinga · 14/03/2018 15:29

I wouldn't have argued about this it's your DD's legs that will be cold not yours. I was given great advice when my daughter was that age - don't sweat the small stuff Smile

Original poster
somersetsoul · 14/03/2018 15:30

Thanks all. I had suspected my hormones had played a big part in this. I need to make sure I remember that next time.

Your right - she would have regretted wearing sock shoes today! Tomorrow she can chose!

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Original poster
somersetsoul · 14/03/2018 15:34

Retired - thank you 🙂 We're going to tell them at 14/15 weeks so a while yet. They'll be over the moon and might understand my crazy behaviour!

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WorriedAndTired · 14/03/2018 15:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BezzaMezza · 14/03/2018 15:42

Does she wear cycling shorts underneath and would she accept knee socks?

Original poster
somersetsoul · 14/03/2018 15:45

No, no shorts. It is cold here today, yesterday was almost warm! She rolls knee high socks down if she wears them!

OP posts:
TickledOnion · 14/03/2018 15:49

8yo DD insisted on wearing socks in the snow last week. It’s not worth fighting about. She can suffer the consequences if she wants, it won’t kill her. 10 is definitely old enough to be able to make that kind of decision.

Obsidion · 14/03/2018 15:50

She might not actually be cold. I hate tights and never understood the 'your legs will be cold' argument. I rarely feel cold and don't even own a proper coat.

She is old enough to make her own clothing choices.

BrandNewHouse · 14/03/2018 15:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

raindropsandsunshine · 14/03/2018 15:56

It sounds like you got caught up in a battle and then neither were willing to back down, causing more upset. Not worth it. Next time just let her be cold, she won't come to much harm by foregoing tights. Many children in our primary school haven't stopped wearing shorts or skirts and socks at all.