Massive argument, all in tears - over tights... was I wrong??

[somersetsoul]

10yo dd is not understanding no at the moment. This morning she was given tights to wear as it's not as warm as yesterday (socks were allowed)

Half an hour of arguing and with me shouting v.loudly she finally put her tights on.

Dd2 was in tears, I was in tears! What a morning and all before 8.30! I'm 8weeks pg with number 3, they don't know that so am also hormonal.

I feel awful and that school will massively judge me as they both went in upset. Was I in the wrong? I can't give in as then it will be expected. Any ideas on how else I could have handled it without it ending that way?

I hate tights. Will wear hold ups if a special occasion and I'm in a dress and even then rip them down ASAP once home. Can't even wear skinny jeans (very annoying!) The thought of wearing tights all day and going from cold outside to a warm school and trying to sit and concentrate makes me feel quite ill, it's just an unbearable sensation to me! If she also rolls down knee highs could it be similar for her?

I think that children, who don't tend to look at the weather forecast are liable to look out of the window and think sunshine=hot weather.

I encourage mine to look at the weather forecast (we look at the feels like temp, and whether it is going to rain) - or I have already looked at it and tell them what it is - and they have a fairly good understanding of what the temperatures mean now. Then they choose what to wear. Much easier for them to make sensible decisions if they have some facts to base it on.

You know, this is one of the few parenting posts I've seen on mn where most replies (possibly all...I haven't quite checked) are positive and non-judgemental.

I would have let her wear socks.

Then, when her legs were cold said "Well, that's a learning experience" (My teenage DC now rib me, as apparently this is what I always say.

Schoo will judge you more in sending in upset children than sick glad children. I speak as a control freak mother who has sent in upset children because my 7yo announced he couldn't go into school because he was wearing pull -ups instead of pants because there were no pants in his drawer and we lived mikes from school so I had to go to a supermarket to buy pants

We all had a cuddle after school and they can decide on what they wear! Obviously she was boiling hot all day!! Thank you all x

Well done OP, parenting and adulting in general can be bloody hard work some days and no-one gets it right all the time! Tomorrow is another day, they will be thrilled to choose and won't say if they were freezing anyway

It's raining and cold but they're both wearing socks today with big smiles on their faces! Thanks all 🙂

And if they complain about being cold when they get home, not a jury in the land would convict you OP

10 is too old to be forcing her to wear tights. She won’t die - she might regret it and be slightly cold.

Stop micro co trolling her or you will find she rebels completely. She is not far of high school, boys, booze, drugs etc. Micro controlling teenagers usually leads to them self destructing.

Start giving her a little autonomy.

Kimmy. Slightly uncalled for.

Glad this morning went better.

I had equally unnecessary battles with my DD and no doubt will make similar mistakes in the future.

Glad this morning went better.

You know, you are the first person in recorded history to get in a big emotional fight with your 10 year old daughter about what she's wearing. The school will know what a MONSTER you are!

Nah, this probably isn't the first time this month they've seen a kid come in upset about something like this. Parents and kids fight about this kind of thing. As long as you're not constantly fighting with her about how she dresses (if you are, you might want to think about whether you're being too controlling), you should be OK.