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Tips for first time mums!

91 replies

cheshiremama89 · 14/03/2018 03:59

5 weeks in and fumbling through!

It's incredibly obvious but I finally figured out a small "win" about a fortnight ago...

To change DS nappy before each feed, that way if he falls asleep I know he is as clean as he can be.

I was hoping my mum would have told me things like this but hasn't, I feel like I'm learning on the go and not always doing it "right".

Does anyone have any other tips? They can be very obvious as I am a total amateur Blush

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Catkins0877 · 18/03/2018 00:27

My tips are change your baby in bout of car when out....changing stations awful awful:( put nappy in bag for emergencies no lugging bags.
Don't do as I did with first....feed him at night then changed nappy!!woke him up every time.learned to check nappy with other two and only changed if needed.
Best advice I ever given by experienced childminder.....My first was ramming toy car into skirting board.I gave out.he obviously at 2 looked at me blankly....she told me I'd never make it through parent hood if i didn't pick my battles.....and lol if i really was precious about skirting boards take toy away....that advice helped me raise 3 well mannered sons!!!lol.

Catkins0877 · 18/03/2018 00:28

Sorry boot of car

Harebellmeadow · 18/03/2018 00:28

Have only read halfway but will add:

Even breastfed babies can get lactose intolerances.
It doesn’t really matter in the end re milestones and speed - they all catch up later
Sleep when baby sleeps or you will keel over and scream.
A ring sling is your friend.

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marthiemoo · 18/03/2018 01:19

Might sound weird but I have become obsessed with pies (proper pastry ones with a lid). During the first 3 months I probably had five a week. They are a whole meal in one comforting parcel and keep their heat incredibly well for the days when it takes two hours to get to it. I once left one in the oven for upwards of 90 minutes and it was still delicious. If your oven has a timer delay then even better. I put the pie in first thing (i.e. sometimes 4am) and regardless of whatever shitshow the day has become, the oven cheerfully heats it up at midday and keeps it warm until I can run over and shove it in my face.

Frozen pain au chocolat. Whatever the night has held, whacking one of these in the oven for 15 minutes can make it all better again.

Thermos mug is a godsend, make a hot drink at bedtime and it'll still be hot at 3am. I also went through a phase of pre-loading all the mugs in our house with teabags.

Wireless headphones are great, sometimes when I know I'm in for an evening of bouncing a grizzly baby I just put on a podcast or Beyonce on an endless loop.

Whiteboard calendar. My memory is awful at the moment (DD is 5 months) plus it can be really easy to lose track of what day of the week it is. I got two magnetic whiteboard calendar things to go on the fridge (think they were a tenner for two on Amazon), one showing the month and one the week. It helps me keep stuff in perspective and space out visitors etc.

I made the mistake at the beginning of trying to frantically do loads of housework/admin/washing during naps, then the baby would wake up and I'd realise I had indeed done three loads of washing but I was still starving and needed a wee and now it was too late. So now I have a strict order of business: loo, cuppa, food, a few minutes dancing/crying/sitting down (depending on the kind of day it's been) then everything else.

A soft apron or pair of dungarees with pockets is great for carrying around your phone, muslin, snack etc.

A big yoga ball is fab for those times when the baby has to be bounced to sleep and your knees are exhausted.

Also re getting out of the house: I spent the first couple of months either forcing myself out and overdoing it, or feeling trapped inside. So now I have a one-on-one-off policy of "activity day" vs "home day". I've never got on with the group activities so for me an activity day means a long walk in the park or a coffee with a friend. So I get out probably three times a week. I have to have home days in-between otherwise it's too exhausting, and the key for me has been to make the home days really super snuggly so that it feels like an active choice to stay in.

cheshiremama89 · 18/03/2018 09:49

These are great!

OP posts:
Harebellmeadow · 18/03/2018 10:44

marthie what do you put in the pies? I suppose you have to make the filling the day before? I love pies too and it sounds brilliant.

yikesanotherbooboo · 18/03/2018 13:40

Loads of excellent advice;
Mine would be don't buy anything more than immediate essentials before your baby is born.you can research by all means but it is hard to imagine your lifestyle before you are living with your child.
Don't compare your child with others; they are all different and comparisons will drive you mad.
Baby groups are for mothers , not children. If you are feeling frazzled and isolated go, you will get good support , but if you don't want to go , your child will not suffer.
Don't bother buying socks; they fall off! Sleepsuits for as long as possible and then when wearing shoes I advise tights.
I'm a big believer in getting out of the house as being stuck within the four walls with a crying baby if you are tired is torture.
Only bath a baby if they need to be washed and for as long as possible wash them in the sink which is at a much better height for you.

yikesanotherbooboo · 18/03/2018 13:46

Also; I agree with the pp wondering what to do with their muslins. I bought a packet on 'everyone's' advice and after 3 children had barely ever found a use for them. I resented the money spent although they have come in useful since for buffing shoes/ silver/ wooden furniture after polishing!
I can see that they would be very handy with a sicky baby but would definitely put in the category of something to buy when you know what you need.

reetgood · 18/03/2018 18:11

@marthie frozen pain au chocolat is GENIUS. Investing next shop!

One I forgot and @catkins0877 reminded me: hippychick waterproof sheets are a) brilliant b) the smallest size folds up no bigger than a flannel and works perfectly as portable change mat.

I carry a very small bag (he’s 10 weeks and breastfed so don’t need any food). It’s no bigger than a handbag. It has: one spare nappy, one outfit change, half a pack of baby wipes, flannel wipe, foldable bag for wet/ dirty items, sample size of sudocrem, my purse, hippy chick sheet, sometimes a toy, sometimes a full muslin, a mini muslin for wiping, a dummy. I’ve never needed anything not in it, never used the spare outfit. That plus a sling leaves me very mobile, which I like.

reetgood · 18/03/2018 18:12

Muslins very useful when preserving and making jellies. Not that I expect that will happen any time soon in my house..

Tobebythesea · 18/03/2018 19:36

My sister gave me some good advice when my first was born: Never leave a room empty handed. There is always something in the room that needs to go somewhere else. It just helped a bit with tidying.

PaddyF0dder · 18/03/2018 20:19

Don’t aim for perfection. There is so much bullshit about babies and parenting, and a lot of people think there’s only one way (generally THEIR WAY, naturally).

Breast is fine. Formula is fine.
Sleeping in a cot is fine. Sleeping on a parent is fine.
Home cooked food is fine. Packet food is fine.
Going to a bunch of baby groups and classes is fine. Not doing that is fine.

Basically, a child needs to feel loved and secure. Everything else is balls.

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 18/03/2018 20:32

Always remember that however bug and all-consuming today’s problem is, in a month you will probably have completely forgotten about it and be on to the next one!
Also though books are on the whole to be avoided, if you find one you like it can be helpful when you run out of ideas or are too tired to think, eg I used a weaning book with a complete timetable of what to give when for the first couple of weeks because I then just did what it said and didn’t have to think about it.
Most of all, they grow up quickly, so enjoy the nice cuddly bits Smile

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 18/03/2018 20:32

*big

marthiemoo · 18/03/2018 22:06

Afraid I don't make them myself, not nearly talented enough :( I mainly get Pieminster ones, they have a great range (sounds like I'm doing an advert for them - other pie brands are available!) They're often two for £6, which on the one hand is a lot but is far less than buying lunch when I was at work and it's my main treaty thing.

JugglingMuggle · 19/03/2018 06:47

The opposite of what some people have said but it basically shows every baby is different: We tried to copy all our friends and just go with the flow with First baby. So feed on demand. Cuddle him to sleep, not worry about when naps happened etc. But after 3 sleepless months we discovered that he adored a routine. He hated winging it. We tried breastfeeding him at strict times, napping at strict times, and an unchangeable bedtime routine. And he loved it and started thriving, crying less and sleeping more! So never assume anything.

Also we loved the bath thermometer (the floating flower one) - the opposite of earlier poster - took all worry out of bath time when sleep deprived.

My babies both hated slings. So don’t worry that you’re doing something wrong if they hate it. Some do!

Expressing if you’re breastfeeding is a god send. To increase supply at certain times. Or to freeze milk for future bottle feeds by other family members to help out. Also really helped when I got blocked ducts. Cleared it quickly.

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