I have an 18 month old DD & I am currently 11 weeks pregnant with my second baby, so I wouldn't be surprised if anyone comments saying "you're just hormonal woman!"
Basically, very recently my DD has been smacking, hitting, scratching and screaming at me. She can't really say a lot so I suppose she resorts to taking her frustration out in those sorts of ways.
She throws toys and I am constantly telling her off. I do praise her for the good she does like; lying down nicely and patiently while I do a nappy change, eating all of her tea and helping me put her toys away at bed time.
But I have found myself recently shouting at her more and more for doing things that are bad.
She shows 0 affection towards me but will show it towards grandparents and her dad, sometimes even strangers!
Today is the first day in months someone has taken her from me for the day. My partner and I do not live together and he works 5 days a week; so I am left alone with her every day during the week. Although, he is a fantastic help on the weekends, I do sometimes wonder if I need that extra support on a weekday.
Once my in laws had left with her this morning, I curled up on the sofa and sobbed uncontrollably for half an hour until I reached for my mobile to call social services.
The woman on the phone was fantastic and gave me some resources to look at, like children's centres to go to. But I still don't think that'll be enough to help me.
I am currently on anti depressants and have been since the age of 18 (now 24.)
Although, I know this isn't normal thinking - I have thought about ending my life but what stops me is the growing baby in my womb & my daughter. I have also had thoughts of just giving her away to social services or her dad, but I know she would forever question me as to why I did that and why I let my other baby stay with me and not her.
I am in absolute hell right now with how I feel and although I do love her, I feel as though she does not love me back.
Me and my partner are a fantastic team on the weekends, and he is absolutely my best friend. I'm just concerned with how I'm coping right now and how I will with a 2 year old and a new born.