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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

Can't take a minute more of this

67 replies

LJ17xx · 01/03/2018 06:42

I don't want my son anymore. I'm sick of this. I don't enjoy being with him. He hurts me and just whinges most of the time.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

tiredmama1 · 02/03/2018 05:26

Sending a hand hold OP. This parenting lark isn't easy, you're doing amazing to be doing it without the baby's dad. Sleep deprivation makes everything a million times tougher. Is there anyone who can come and look after him for a couple of hours in the morning so you can have a sleep? I'm sitting under my preemie right now. Some days I feel sick with tiredness. I'm sure there is someone who'll love to spend a couple of hours with your baby to give you a break. Sometimes you have to ask for help, you can't do it all on your own xx

Mummyoflittledragon · 02/03/2018 05:38

Oh I’m so sorry. I don’t really know what to suggest. Perhaps you could try contacting a cranial osteopath and see if they can help for his sleeping patterns. He sounds very distressed.

Have you seen the gp? Is there anywhere you can be referred to?

I googled your issue and found this old thread. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/behaviour_development/1249971-3yo-dd-using-my-hair-as-comforter-driving-me-mad.

I’ve also had a read around online and some people have used things like a toupe and a make up brush. There were a couple of people, who said they got dolls with mothers hair sewn in. But loveybabies.com, which was recommended by the two people no longer exists. Parenting.com recommends getting your baby to touch their own hair or kissing their hand so not much help there.

Original poster

LJ17xx · 02/03/2018 05:47

I just think he'd be better off with other parents. I don't feel like I love him anymore after all this

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Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

Original poster

LJ17xx · 02/03/2018 05:49

I think that is what is his problem is in general, why he is such an unhappy baby with me

OP posts:

Original poster

LJ17xx · 02/03/2018 05:52

He has a dummy for naps. He's on lactose free formula. And he's always have a bear blanket thing

OP posts:

Original poster

LJ17xx · 02/03/2018 05:53

Not really anyone who could have him for a while

OP posts:

Afreshcuppateaplease · 02/03/2018 05:55

Op im sorry your feeling so low

Have you spoken to your gp?

endofthelinefinally · 02/03/2018 05:58

There was a thread on here a while ago about someone in a similar situation. The lactose free formula prescribed for that baby was not the correct one and the op had to go back to the gp to get a referral to a paediatrician and get a different formula that was free from cows milk protein as well.
OP, there is clearly something wrong and it is not your fault.
Please go back to your gp. You need help and support.

TheBakeryQueen · 02/03/2018 06:16

You need to get your GP or health visitor involved, make them realise how serious this is.

While parenting is undoubtedly hard work and we all feel low at times, I think you are suffering with your mental health and unfortunately that will affect your son if left untreated.

I think you're very brave to come on here and be so honest.

Bue · 02/03/2018 06:20

What formula is he on? It's really rare for babies to be lactose intolerant. More likely is that they are allergic to cow's milk protein, which is different. Do you think he has been assessed properly? Could it be a yummy/allergy problem?

RicStar · 02/03/2018 06:35

It sounds really hard op. Tiredness is the worst for me makes me crazy. It would have been so hard without DH. Do you have a job to return to? I know it sounds crazy when you are so tired but a change in routine - working was amazing for me. I didn’t have a job to go back to (was on temp contract) but begged a former colleague when dd was 9 months. I would also try your GP - although they are hit and miss ime - they might be able to signpost some help.

KoshaMangsho · 02/03/2018 06:37

This sounds like he is unwell and or in pain and desperate. As are you. I would go again and again to the GP for answers. He doesn’t hate you or is unhappy because of you, he’s feeling miserable and sick and doesn’t know how to communicate it.

Happygolucky009 · 02/03/2018 06:44

Babies are incredibly hard work, you've been so brave to come on here and open up. Please speak to your gp about your feelings, speak to your Hv about strategies to avoid the hair pulling and see if you have a children's centre locally, they may do a massage course which will help you to reconnect with your baby and hopefully you can start enjoying him more.

Original poster

LJ17xx · 02/03/2018 07:29

He was on a milk allergy one before and if anything it made him worse. When he started on aptamil lactose free he stopped being sick all the time, scrunching his legs up and rarely has diarrhoea

OP posts:

Original poster

LJ17xx · 02/03/2018 07:31

We spent hours on end in gp surgeries and in the hospital seeing paediatrician. They were so unhelpful. 😢 we were in there probably twice a week for a couple of months

OP posts:

Original poster

LJ17xx · 02/03/2018 07:31

*mummyoflittledragon thanks for looking for suggestions for me

OP posts:

KoshaMangsho · 02/03/2018 07:32

I would go back. It doesn’t sound right. He sounds like an unhappy baby in pain.

Original poster

LJ17xx · 02/03/2018 07:33

As for the job, no I don't. I don't know how I'd afford childcare?

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Afreshcuppateaplease · 02/03/2018 07:38

You may be entitled to up to 70% of costs through tax credits

Whisky2014 · 02/03/2018 07:38

Well one thing you can change is the hair thing. Don't let him use it as a comforter. Tie it up. He will get used to something else. Persevere.

TheBakeryQueen · 02/03/2018 07:40

I meant the GP for you. It sounds like you need support.

As a single parent I think you can get part payment towards childcare.

Are there any Surestart centres near you?

Original poster

LJ17xx · 02/03/2018 07:42

Thank you.
I will look into that
I think our one closed down

OP posts:

TheBakeryQueen · 02/03/2018 07:49

Get yourself to as many free baby groups that you can, get out for walks if you can (wrapped up very warm!), see what sessions are on at the library. It might help being out and about.

My eldest was a crier and sometimes when I felt at the end of my tether I'd pop him the buggy with the raincover on to drown out the noise a bit and go for a walk.

I remember those days well, it's so tough. It does get easier.

TheBakeryQueen · 02/03/2018 07:51

I meant cheap groups rather than free, the ones run by churches, they're usually really supportive. You've probably done this already so ignore me if I'm suggesting things you already do.

niceupthedance · 02/03/2018 07:56

I was single and had an unhappy baby and it was the hardest time of my life, at 9 months I felt just as desperate as you. You're not the first and you won't be the last. I wish I'd gone to the doctor and just said I can't cope with this any more... please tell your gp that the hv isn't helping. Social care have early help teams that specifically would be able to support mums in difficulty.

Also do you have home start or family action in your area? They both do perinatal support. If they are not in your area they may be able to point you to a service which is.

Btw it is totally possible to turn the corner and have a loving relationship with your child so please don't think it isn't.

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