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Original poster

Can't take a minute more of this

67 replies

LJ17xx · 01/03/2018 06:42

I don't want my son anymore. I'm sick of this. I don't enjoy being with him. He hurts me and just whinges most of the time.

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Xansaf · 01/03/2018 06:44

Oh LJ. Being a mum is tough. I have fekt exactly the same at times. How old is he?

Cantchooseaname · 01/03/2018 06:47

How old is he? Is there anyone around who can help give you a bit of a break? I would help any friend who felt similar.
Can you talk to a gp? A problem shared, and all that!!

sandgrown · 01/03/2018 06:49

How old is your son? We have all felt like this at times but it's not forever

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Original poster
LJ17xx · 01/03/2018 08:03

He's 9 months. I have family but they all work full time

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Original poster
LJ17xx · 01/03/2018 08:08

I have tonnes of lumps of hair in my bed, a sore scalp and cuts on my hands this morning as he screams for hours on end if I stop him ripping out my hair

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OnlyFoolsnMothers · 01/03/2018 14:21

Flowers OP
Have you always felt this way, when he was a newborn?

MyBrilliantDisguise · 01/03/2018 14:30

Ow that sounds really, really painful.

Please don't suffer on your own. Ask your health visitor for help. Do you have any friends who can come round?

Original poster
LJ17xx · 01/03/2018 15:43

Not been a particularly smooth ride since the beginning really. In and out of hospital all pregnancy, he was born a preemie through emergency c section. And I just don't think I've taken well to being a mum. Spoken to HV a couple of times but they have given advice I could have guessed myself. Thanks for your responses

OP posts:
Bigbarnowl · 01/03/2018 15:45

Is your partner helping you?

ferrier · 01/03/2018 15:48

How is he getting hold of your hair?
Can you give home something else to grab hold of?
What thoughts do you have about why he is screaming?

Finola1step · 01/03/2018 15:48

Blimey, you poor thing. As the HV has not been helpful, would you consider booking an appointment with your GP to start talking this through?

Is the father on the scene?

ferrier · 01/03/2018 15:48

*him not home

mamaryllis · 01/03/2018 15:51

Get out of the house every day.
And find a substitute for the hair - dsis found a pillow with long non-pullable fibres. You will have to hold him with it as he is so little, but it is very useful for tactile soothers to use an inanimate object later than a parents hair... post a separate thread about this - it’s pretty common and folk will have ideas.

KoshaMangsho · 01/03/2018 15:53

How premature was he? Are you under consultant care? That doesn’t sound entirely normal. I would offer other comfort objects. Does he have sensory needs?

MockneyReject · 01/03/2018 15:55

I sympathise, OP. I had a non sleeping, bitey, scratchy, headbutter.

I do think you need to tell your GP how you are feeling. HV's can be hit and miss.

Meanwhile, tie your hair up.
Could he be distracted by a feeding necklace?
If he bites, gently pull him to you, rather than trying to pull him off.
My final not very useful tip is to take a photo of him sleeping. Even when I was at the end of my tether, as soon as he dozed off, I 'forgave' him everything.

Does his dad know how tough it has been for you?

Original poster
LJ17xx · 01/03/2018 18:39

His father has no part in his life. Yes I suppose I could speak to the gp. He uses my hair as a comforter. I've tried all other things even putting newborn mits on his when he goes to bed at night.
He was 5 weeks prem

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Original poster
LJ17xx · 01/03/2018 18:40

And as soon as we left the hospital all care stopped! So spent a lot of time asking to see the gp and HV

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Aprilmightmemynewname · 01/03/2018 18:47

My ds was also 5 weeks prem and I felt a bit conned /resentful of the last few weeks of pregnancy /sleep. Tell you hv, ask can she go through your labour /c section reasons with you? , I had a chat with my consultant and the midwives said we were in for a week as he had jaundice. I felt a bit detached from ds for a good while, don't be afraid to talk to a Dr /professional in rl. It doesn't mean you aren't a good dm or don't love your baby.

peanut2017 · 01/03/2018 19:13

That sounds tough OP especially as you don't seem to have much support. I can kind of relate to that but I do have my husband. Can't imagine I would have coped at all if I was on my own. So for getting this far you are doing amazingly well.

I know you don't feel like that but you are. People who have loads of support don't k now how lucky they are and it makes the world of difference to just get a bit of a break.

Definitely talk to your GP as a starting point. Are you feeling low in your mood at all?

Original poster
LJ17xx · 02/03/2018 04:49

I haven't slept at all tonight 😢

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hesterton · 02/03/2018 04:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mimibunz · 02/03/2018 05:02

Sorry OP. Flowers

Original poster
LJ17xx · 02/03/2018 05:15

Thanks for kind comments.

I am getting desperate. He's never been a good sleeper but he seems to be getting worse. He'll sleep in 5/10 minute slots. I also can't get him to nap in the day

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Original poster
LJ17xx · 02/03/2018 05:17

His longest naps are usually 20 minutes.
I mean I live with my mum but she has work and then young children of her own. She helps when she can

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MessyBun247 · 02/03/2018 05:21

Does he take a dummy? Is he breastfed or on formula? Have you tried introducing a different comforter like a soft blanket?

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