Please advise, we don't know what to think or what to do but have started with this email to our daughter's preschool. We don't know what's normal of preschool boys. Or how children experiment. We've tried to write down what our nearly 4yo said. And not jump to any conclusions or sexualise something that wasn't. What should we expect from the nursery? What should we do? Our dd knows she is in charge of her bottom, it's hers, private, no one should be touching your bottom etc. Please help. Thank you for reading, it's pretty long.
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Hello Nursery managers 1 & 2,
This is what dd told me this evening.
We were talking about why her bottom is red.
Me: Is it because you've been touching it? Is it itchy? Could I have a look?
dd: Not itchy. Not touched it.
dd: Child 1 did.
Me: child1 touched you on your bottom?
I asked her where on her bottom & she showed me her vagina.
Then she said "and someone stood behind me and touched me there too at the same time". "One put his hand down my pants at the front and another put their hand down the back of my pants."
I asked her who had touched her bottoms and she said "Boy 1, Boy 2, boy 3, and girl 1".
I asked if girl 1 had touched her.
She said "no, I mean they did it to her too". "Oh & Boy 4" "he did it too".
"And key worker 1 was really cross and so was key worker 2."
I can't remember who told who off but dd told me that too.
It was in the toilets I think she said but I can't be sure.
I asked her when this had happened.
She said Friday, Wednesday and Thursday in that order.
I asked her "so it's happened more than once?".
And she said yes.
Nursery managers 1&2, we are uncertain what to make of it/ livid/ really upset/concerned she's not safe. We know children make things up. And we know bottoms are fascinating things. We know dd has a vivid imagination. She has not seen people do this at home to be able to imagine it. Or watched anything on any technology that shows this or suggests it. One child doing it as an experiment I can rationalise. [almost if you can see what I mean, I am not trivialising a similar act but by one] four boys being mentioned and another girl possibly experiencing it makes us feel sick. Two members of staff being mentioned as really angry and telling off two of the boys leaves us wondering why we haven't been told about this (if it did happen).
Please help us unpick this story quickly.
Could Key workers 1&2 be asked about it?
And if did happen, how is it not going to happen again?