Please help - new mum with baby that won't sleep and only eats

[sadie2017]

Hi all,

Please can I get your advice...

My little boy is 12 days only and all he has done for the last 4 days is not sleep, constantly want food every half hour - when he is taking the bottle he's crying at the same time. I assumed it's wind so try winding him but he screams for more milk.

He won't sleep just twenty mins here and there.

I honestly don't know what to do?

Any advice appreciated x

Mine is 11 days. I was advised that for the first few weeks I should expect baby to cry and feed a lot, and not really stick to a schedule. Supposedly you just have to ride out the first six weeks or so and wait for baby to settle down. Everything is new and we can't expect our babies to understand straight away.

Maybe reflux? See if they will check him.

Find someone to take him so you can rest?

Big growth spurt.
Keep feeding and cuddling, get OH to take a shift early evening to feed/ hold while you can sleep for a few hours

You aren't doing anything wrong.

My advice is a large chocolate cake, a flask of tea and something good to watch on tv and settle down for cuddles on the sofa.

If you are bothered about wind you could also try giving some infacol before every feed.

It's probably a growth spurt and will settle down soon.

Have you tried a sling or a dummy? Both can really help with soothing a baby to sleep.

Which bottles are you using? And which formula? Mine both preferred Dr Brown's bottles and were far less windy on them. We found that Aptamil ready made was best as well, the powdered formula took a slow introduction once they were a bit older.
Might be a bit of silent reflux? Is it worse when he's laid down after a feed? Is he doing funny burps that sound sicky but aren't and then screaming when swallowing? Or sort of rasping when laid back like he has a frog in his throat that he needs to cough up?

Try swaddling as well. Sometimes babies need to be snug to feel safe. The first days are bloody tough so don't think you're the only one who feels like this x

Its very normal but I also found a dummy helped settle after long feeds ( obviously dobt use instead of feeding)

Agree with tight swaddle - how are you trying to get him to sleep? They need to feel as secure as they do in the womb...dummy and swaddle or could your partner put him in a sling and go for a walk?

Dummy??

Never underestimate the power of wind my mum always said! My dd was like this too, crying a lot and not able to sleep because of painful wind and reflux, she'd take a bit of milk then just cry because of the wind then cry because she was hungry. As well as the discomfort it must be so frustrating for them, they are hungry but as soon as they start feeding they get pain and / or reflux!

What helped dd was switching to the MAM bottles that have the flat part to the teat, my sis in law found them great for my niece as well. All babies are different and I did waste money trying Dr Browns first but luckily I tried her with MAM next and they really helped. The teats have different flows too so worth trying a different flow that's slower or faster at some point.

Also started using Infacol before each feed after HV suggested trying it and that really helped too. I remember trying out all sorts of different manoeuvres to help with the wind after feeds and eventually found a few good moves that helped, its trial and error really and just learning on the job. The reflux was never bad enough in GP's opinion to warrant medicine for it, dd was always a very sicky baby though and that didn't improve til she started on solids.

if you think it's more than this though speak to your HV or GP, so many germs around this time of year he could have picked something up so check his temp and keep an eye on him, hopefully it's not though and it's just his little digestive system where he's so young xx

I swaddled my 3 and they slept really good for yhe first few weeks, and thats nit boasting, i have 2 girls and one boy and oh my did the boy make up for being good them first few weeks. I went thru months of having to rock him to sleep in his pran while he was sitting up with a blanket partially coveribg his face, the came the battke of taking his blanket from his face so i could sleep without worrying and lowering his pram into sleeping position all without waking him up. But they did sleep wonderfully when swaddled, and a dummy can sometimes help, even if you don't want the baby full time, it could help for the first few weeks/month then slowly take it away before baby becomes too attached, good luck op, its all worth it in the end.

Do you have a baby carrier/sling? I used it since mine was days old and I can't imagine what I would have done without it. If I walked around/danced with him in it he would sleep for hours. Never in the bed though unless I was sleeping too

I second the sling- bloody lifesaver!

They cluster feeed like this in the first few weeks, especially in the evening

Have you tried swaddling? Dummy? Aptimel comfort?

As PP said, do not underestimate the power of wind!!!! Babies that age do feed loads - but every half hr is excessive, and it’s unlikely that he actually needs food that often. When they’re in discomfort at that age, they show feeding cues - rooting, etc - because sucking comforts them. So you give them milk. Which they will take because the suckling comforts them. So instead, if he’s crying, give him a really, REALLY good wind before giving him boob/bottle again. Try not to overenthusiastically pat his back or jiggle him - smooth, firm, long strokes upwards on his back to push the bubbles up. Also look out for reflux signs like another PP said.

You can so easily get into a cycle of feed - discomfort from wind/reflux - hunger cues - feed again - more discomfort because the milk is exacerbating the wind/reflux - and so on.... And then you have a baby who’s basically not ever really having a proper feed because he’s constantly topping up on little bits of milk that’s giving him more wind or reflux. You are doing nothing wrong though. NOBODY knows what the heck they’re doing with a first baby that young!!!