"How to talk so kdis will listenand listen so kids will talk" - anyone want to go trhough this book?

[Porcupine]

and see hwat we think of it?

Its wuite heavy reading( not intellectually) just very close set type and lots of americna egs
But i reckon we cna do it.

LOL at your encapsulation, 100times (and thank you - I think I got a bit lost at the punishment/consequences part). I particularly like the bit about the strangling.

Right, am raring to go (though have to go to the gym first to make me feel like the sort of mother who can achieve).

Thank god my boss is away today, cos I'm sitting here weeping with laughter at this thread. I have been impressed by the results you are all getting, though, so have ordered the book (and the teen one) through the school link link (iyswim).

Please keep it up.

I have had some great results with chapter 4! especially the not saying no bit.

Here's an example:
DS "can I have an icecream?" (I know, the boy is obsessed, it's a reoccuring theme)

Me "You had an ice cream yesterday"

DS "Yes can I have an ice cream today?"

Me "We're going to have some lunch in a bit"

DS "but I want an ICE CREEEEEAAAAM!"

Me "I know you do, ice creams are nice"

DS "I want one now"

Me "Look at the lifeboat!"

DS "Ooooh the tractor is pulling it to the sea!"

Me "shall we go and watch?"

DS runs off happily.

Rather depends on having a lifeboat handy though!

well yes! I know where you can get one, although any large vehicle will do if you have a DS

It was just the distraction I think that worked, after talking about what he wanted but me not just saying "No you're not having one", which would have made him too cross to be distracted by anything...

My books arrived this morning but I am reading my Sensitive Child one first for my fragile eldest but will peruse this one asap

v funny thread

(Oliveoil)

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Just wait pruni, next week your ds will be talking to you like that
I have my ds saying things like "I'm very disappointed in your behaviour mummy"

and

"it makes me sad when you don't let me watch the Simpsons, you should let me watch it so I don't be sad"

also had

"when you wash my hair it makes me very cross mummy, it's not nice to make people cross, do you want to say sorry now?"

lol

Sheesh Pruni you are parenting superstar

I am still stuck on the dwarves in chapter 2

at this thread.

Not having much success here, maybe because my DDs are older and don't fall for dwarf-based distraction techniques and don't fit in shopping trolleys

ANYWAY... DD1 (9) often comes home with "she's not my friend any more" type whinges that have been going on for ages and I'm at a total loss. Tonight she was in a bit of stew about it, so I tried the mmm-ing and aha-ing, and "so you're a bit confused about who your friends are", and she said yes, but it didn't seem to help much, and she certainly didn't come up with her own strategy.

So am I allowed to offer advice, or wot?

god re readign this stilll makes me lol

yeah, thanks for hte link...
honey

ok chapter 5 comign up

praise

YES. YES. YES. PRAISE BE.

over prasie is worhtless
and can make you think peopela re ktking the piss, threatening( ie you wre so goo in that meeting - you worry what will i be like ext time, maekyou go into self denial " oh this old hting" etcet)

helpful praise comes in tow parts

1. the adult descrivess wiht appreciation what he sees or feels

1. the child on eharing hte description is able to prsie himeslef

ok kid ocmes back form nursery wiht a scribblly picture

kid" is it good"

norlmally youd say " oh yes it is

OH NO NO NO
new way

"well i can see you went do dot dot ans squiggle"

kid " yeah" ( oh dea poor language imo)

i say" who every did you think to do that

kid " cos i am an aritst"

( and sorely slf deluded id add in at that point"

more egs coming up afetr school

adn there si a line to rival " dont be fresh"
youll LOVE It

not a snif

i haev lost my allure

PMSL til i had to change my knickers at this thread

no one wants me
wheres 100
she begged me to start

I like the way you posted this new information Codders.

It makes me feel very challenged.

long pause, and I'm ready to make the hmm noises