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"How to talk so kdis will listenand listen so kids will talk" - anyone want to go trhough this book?

630 replies

Porcupine · 01/05/2007 16:58

and see hwat we think of it?

Its wuite heavy reading( not intellectually) just very close set type and lots of americna egs
But i reckon we cna do it.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
BearintheBigBlueHouse · 03/05/2007 21:14

Right - have only just got up-to-date on this thread.

My shrink recommended I get and use this book a couple of years ago. I started to but then got freaked a bit - don't they suggest you leave yourself notes on Post-its, strategically placed around your abode, to remind yourself of the strategies you should be using? I was that worried about the state of this place and what anyone might think should they walk in (what I think people might think was another issue that needed thrashing out with the good doctor but that's by the by) that I couldn't bring myself to do that, and as I've got the memory of a sleep-deprived goldfish, I just couldn't see it working. Can you imagine me saying to Mrs Bear, 'quick, lets leg it round and whip down the Post-its, there's someone at the door!' Then they're sat there having tea and I spy a stray one that we missed, just over their shoulder and launch myself at it, Ben Stiller-stylee, milliseconds before they notice it and ask......but, then I can tell any number of strangers I was in therapy. Boy am I screwed up.

But anyway now it's been validated by PAFC, whom I rightly revere, I'm going to be all over it like a rash again. You'll know me, I'll be the one by the pool on my Bodentastic holiday this half term wearing Fat Face boardshorts reading HTTSKWLALSKWT and writing copiously on Post-its.

All that said, when I did try it (and DD was still a bit young) it did seem like it might have results. Now she's ripe for some HTT action, and boy, are we all going to benefit. Thanks for the heads up

morningpaper · 03/05/2007 21:48

Hmm I hae not fared so well

I usually just resort to sarcasm which makes dd laugh instead

e.g. tonight

I throw her a toothbrush in the bath

HER: I want a proper TOOTHBRUSH
ME:

So I ended up saying "What do you think that is, a mouse's knickers?" and she laughed so we moved on

FrannyandZooey · 03/05/2007 22:12

I also don't think I am a natural for this book

yesterday when ds had hurt his hand on a stick in the park I was fairly desperate for some light heartedness, so said:

"I think that stick should be ashamed of itself. I bet that stick's Mummy is saying "What do you think you were doing, hurting poor ds?" and the stick is saying "Waaaah! He fell on me! He squashed my head with his big fat fingers!" "

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morningpaper · 03/05/2007 22:14

DOH Franny you are a RUBBISH at this

FrannyandZooey · 03/05/2007 22:17

yes

ruddy pesky things, sticks, though

morningpaper · 03/05/2007 22:19

Also mine said "I don't WANT to get out of bath"

And I said "Hmmmm"

We repeated this exchange several times

Nothing magical happened

climbingwalls · 03/05/2007 22:20

Cod this thread is Geeeenious!!

Please miss, don't give up coz a few roudy sarky kids at the front disrupt things, think of all us quiet students raptly paying attention to your every word that would miss out....

Have pretended to be a good mummy all day today using tips from this thread and it has worked wonders (but DS is still not buying the whole fantasy thing yet )

climbingwalls · 03/05/2007 22:22

PMSL F&Z and morningpaper

ahundredtimes · 03/05/2007 22:23

I am now outrageously, flamboyantly successful at this - and we're only on chapter 3. After brief dwarf hiccup we moved on seamlessly to bathtime where DD3 refused to get out of the bath and I said 'You'd like to stay in the bath because it's fun and you're having such a good time' to which she said 'I AM NOT' and got out the bath as quick as you like.
Not sure it's meant to quite work like this, but all the same. Bring on Chapter 4.

climbingwalls · 03/05/2007 22:27

what happens when it backfires though:

DS: can I have an icecream?

"No, sorry, not today DS"

DS but I want an ice cream!

"I understand you want one, but I'm not getting you one today"

DS but I waaannnnttt ONE!

"I know, it must be disappointing, wouldn't it be great if all we ever ate was ice cream?"

DS So can I have one?

"No"

DS I'm not happy with your behaviour mummy.

I was stumped, but we moved on without another mention of ice cream!

rowan1971 · 03/05/2007 22:31

climbingwalls: you missed out the 'mmm, uhuhrgh' bit.

(See Miss, I'm paying attention Miss)

ahundredtimes · 03/05/2007 22:33

Too much talking. Not enough listening. Just nod a lot and move on imagining how it'd be if the whole world was full of ice cream. Wasn't there something though about putting them in a supermarket trolley? Perhaps we have to keep these with us at all times.

RubberDuck · 04/05/2007 08:15

F&Z - your story about the stick reminds me that every time ds2 hurts himself (he's almost 3) I go into major theatrical telling off of the object that hurt him in full finger waggle mode: "naughty stick for hurting my ds2!"

I always get a teary giggle

So you're just not trying hard enough

FrannyandZooey · 04/05/2007 08:31

Oh this is easy after all.

Ds: This pen isn't working!
Me: Oh, it isn't working?
Ds: No, it's got stuck!
Me: Oh, it's got stuck?
Ds: It's just....oh, I've done it!
Me: Oh, you've fixed it?
Ds: Yes....oh, no, it's stuck again!
Me: Oh, it's stuck again?
Ds: Yes.........I think I'll stop worrying about it now and ask you to fix it after breakfast...

HAH! Now to practise, so I can do it on autopilot.

NadineBaggott · 04/05/2007 08:33

oh I like that franny.

too late for me of course but that looks like a real plan!

filthymindedvixen · 04/05/2007 08:42

Franny your stick story remined me of jon ronson for some reason

FrannyandZooey · 04/05/2007 08:49

Oh GAWD I really like Jon Ronson but know that most people find him annoying and cringy

oh god am turning into the Jon Ronson of MN

filthymindedvixen · 04/05/2007 08:51

I realy like him (i can identify with him...especially whenhe gets all paranoid...)

FrannyandZooey · 04/05/2007 08:58

yes me too

did you see that thread recently where everyone else said he was an embarrassment and only thought he was funny?

filthymindedvixen · 04/05/2007 09:12

He makes me laugh out loud in the Guardian (in self-reconition...)

Pruni · 04/05/2007 09:13

Message withdrawn

FrannyandZooey · 04/05/2007 09:15
FrannyandZooey · 04/05/2007 09:16

Pruni I think on Childsnet they are all saying "wtf is all this talking stick and house made of egg business? They have all gone barking mad."

Pruni · 04/05/2007 09:18

Message withdrawn

filthymindedvixen · 04/05/2007 09:23