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Parenting

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Original poster

Pretty low parenting day

14 replies

auberginesandcourgettes · 09/02/2018 20:46

I think I have just had my worst day since becoming a parent. DS (3.5) has been whingey and badly behaved all week. I figured it might be due to being tired from having a cold, so I picked him up from nursery early today. He then proceeded to whinge/scream cry literally about every 2 minutes, about eg. needing his nose wiped/wanting a muslin not a tissue/crying that his lego car had come apart. He wouldn't let me clean his face which was dirty from lunch (important as he has an eczema flare up right now), so I took a toy away from him. He then screamed at me for a while, and I ended up losing my cool and shouting at him really really loud. I told him that he wasn't getting the toy back or having any hugs or cuddles until we cleaned his face, then I walked away. I did apologise later, but I feel bad as I'm normally really patient with him, although he has never been this badly behaved before.

I then shouted at DH later in the day, as he decided to sit and read a magazine when I was trying to put DD (4 months) to bed, rather than looking after DS (who had followed me upstairs and was disrupting DD's bedtime), or doing the dishes from dinner.

It was all topped off with DS refusing to do pretty much anything at bedtime. As a result, I told him I wasn't reading any bedtime stories, although I ended up relenting and reading one.

Horrible, horrible day :-(

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picklemepopcorn · 09/02/2018 20:51

Some days are like that! You'll all survive. I find it helps when children are whngey and under the weather, to just write them off as completely unreasonable, and avoid any trigger points.

picklemepopcorn · 09/02/2018 20:51

I'm sure tomorrow will be better. If it's any comfort, my worst days were far worse! You are doing ok!

Marcine · 09/02/2018 20:54

If that's your worst day ever then you're doing fine!

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Callamia · 09/02/2018 20:55

I recognise that kind of day. There’s only one sensible cure, early to bed with a cup of tea/whatever, and some chocolate. I realise how ridiculously stereotypy this sounds, but really - it’s got me through a fair few crappy parenting days since I had a second - there’s a similar age gap between mine, and I know the joys of trying to reason with a preschooler while everything else goes to ruin.

Original poster

auberginesandcourgettes · 09/02/2018 20:58

Maybe. He is normally reasonably well behaved, although a bit whingey at times. Today he was just so horrible. He reduced me to tears at one point, and actually felt like I disliked him, like I didn't want to hug him.

DH fell asleep straight after we put DS to bed, so I haven't talked to him yet either. DD is the only sane one today.

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picklemepopcorn · 09/02/2018 21:26

I found that threatening to remove a toy for lack of cooperation was useless for my DS. It just made him more upset and angry.

Try not to let it get to you. I have a really lovely relationship with my DSs now, 17 and 21. When they were small I really struggled and did far worse than you. Far worse.

hollowtree · 09/02/2018 21:28

Everyone has bad days and for What It's Worth I think you did a great job

SolemnlyFarts · 09/02/2018 21:28

Listen, you have a baby and a three-year-old. This is not a reflection of how things are going to be in the future. It's bloody hard right now - just hang in there. It'll get better (and I say that as someone who had a shit day with slightly older kids yesterday). You're in the trenches - if tomorrow is better, you're doing fine!

TheButterflyOfTheStorms · 09/02/2018 21:47

DH used to mime putting on a bandana and we were pretending we were in a war film on days like this.

Sometimes you just get through the day and everyone lives.

Original poster

auberginesandcourgettes · 09/02/2018 21:52

Thank you. I guess it is just shut with kids sometimes, but I've just never felt like I did towards DS until today. I feel angry towards DH, he just abandoned me to read a magazine, who does that? I could have done with talking today through with him after the kids went to bed, but he's still asleep on the couch now.

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Original poster

auberginesandcourgettes · 09/02/2018 21:53

Shut = shit. I wish it had been a shut day, but it was definitely more of a shit day

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Timemachinetoast · 09/02/2018 21:57

He went to bed with a bedtime story.... Sounds like success to me!

Now time to unwind. Tomorrow is a new day.

picklemepopcorn · 09/02/2018 21:59

Your DH does sound a bit hopeless. You might need to point out to him how unhelpful it was, and how upset you are.

Caterina99 · 10/02/2018 10:22

To be honest that sounds like a fairly normal day in my house at the moment. 2.5 year old DS and 4 month old DD. The weather is awful and he has a cold. My patience is thin anyway from lack of sleep.

Tomorrow is a new day! But do speak to your DH cos he sounds like a lot of the issue here

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