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Parenting

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Original poster

I am so DAMN SICK of my children arguing all the time <worn out emotion>

63 replies

DANCESwithaFewExtraPounds · 30/04/2007 16:02

DD is almost 4 and ds is 2 so still v. young but if I hear one more shout (accompanied by screech) of 'MINE' or 'I WANT' they may not live to see their 4th and 3rd birthdays respectively. I know I'm sounding flippant but I have HAD ENOUGH today.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

DANCESwithaFewExtraPounds · 30/04/2007 16:42

No, please, stop, I'm overwhelmed with all the empathy

OP posts:

Porcupine · 30/04/2007 16:43

do you leave thme to sort it oyt themselves?
ifind that hte bewst approach

nailpolish · 30/04/2007 16:44

oh GOD dances my dds ages 4 and 2.5 are exactly the same

turf them out to the garden and leave them to it

only intervene if you see blood

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Original poster

DANCESwithaFewExtraPounds · 30/04/2007 16:45

I try to. It's hard to know what to do when dd starts shouting that ds has hit her because I don't want hitting to be ok but then I have to intervene and blah, blah, you know the rest....

OP posts:

joash · 30/04/2007 16:46

Sorry but get used to it mrs!!! Mine are 26 and 22 - and still have their moments. I now have a 17 year old and a 4 yearold who argue and fight like cat and dog - but if anyone gets in the middle of them, they'd kill for each other.

nailpolish · 30/04/2007 16:46

i cant advise only empathise

i am exactly the same

Original poster

DANCESwithaFewExtraPounds · 30/04/2007 16:46

I'm almost at the 'tv on children turn into vegetables stage' but I'm trying to avoid that as a solution all the time

OP posts:

Porcupine · 30/04/2007 16:47

i tried the
" well if you two dont work uti out hen you ahev no one to play wiht"
but tbh( smug) mine don't row wiht ehac toher
weird eh?

Original poster

DANCESwithaFewExtraPounds · 30/04/2007 16:47

joash...I am used to it, it hasn't suddenly started today it's just wearing a bit thin at the moment.

OP posts:

emsiewill · 30/04/2007 16:48

Yes, empathy from me too.

My dds are 7 and 10, and I try to let them sort it out themselves, as it is impossible to know who started it, who's right, who's wrong etc etc.

I do find it hard when there's violence involved, and generally tell them both off.

It is exhausting though...

Original poster

DANCESwithaFewExtraPounds · 30/04/2007 16:48

yep, i've done the...well I'll have it card, it does work.

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nailpolish · 30/04/2007 16:49

if you are like me you worry about the littler one getting pushed around..

but they are sturdier than you think

if you wait even a second longer than bearable i bet they will be laughing

phatcat · 30/04/2007 16:49

I totally understand dances - I'm at that point too, 2 ds of 4 and 2. I was so upset last night because the older one wouldn't kiss the younger one good night, he really seems to dislike him at the moment, lots of aggression and screeching. Poor ds2 seems to flinch whenever ds1 comes close. Not quite the inseperable best playmates scenario I'd wished for as yet

nailpolish · 30/04/2007 16:50

COD i think girls are worse tbh

this week we ar mostly name calling
"youre a poo poo bum"

etc

Original poster

DANCESwithaFewExtraPounds · 30/04/2007 16:50

They do adore each other but it's getting harder to tell at the moment

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CookieBear · 30/04/2007 16:50

Hi DANCESwithaFewExtraPounds Have you ever read any Dr Christopher Green? He has some brilliant advice when it comes to sorting out squabbling siblings

joash · 30/04/2007 16:51

I know. I didn't imagine fo one minute that it had just started. Just saying that if you can, learn to ignore it (i haven't managed it yet BTW

Original poster

DANCESwithaFewExtraPounds · 30/04/2007 16:52

No, who is this Dr Green and what is his book called and can you praese (no idea how to spell that) it in a sentence please

OP posts:

Original poster

DANCESwithaFewExtraPounds · 30/04/2007 16:52

Joash I'll slap myself for you am very tetchy this afternoon...

OP posts:

CookieBear · 30/04/2007 16:54

precis?? I think I'll have a go if you give me a mo...

Original poster

DANCESwithaFewExtraPounds · 30/04/2007 16:55

OP posts:

CookieBear · 30/04/2007 17:00

The book is called 'Beyond Toddlerdom'..it has saved my sanity a few times. Basically he says you musn't become the referee in your children's battles. Teach them conflict resolution instead. ie:
'When hit with complaints, don't adjudicate. Ask, 'How can we resolve this problem?'
Suggest some options.
Say you'll come back in 1 min to hear their solution
Use a 3 strike system:
1.'How can we resolve this problem?'
2.'I expect a resolution in 1 minute or you will both be sent to time out'
3.'Both go to your rooms'

God there's loads here...really useful stuff. Wish I had a scanner here!

nailpolish · 30/04/2007 17:10

cookie would that really work with a 4yr old and a 2yr old tho..?

nailpolish · 30/04/2007 17:10

not bieng picky, it sounds ok but with older children

CookieBear · 30/04/2007 17:16

Hi nailpolish, my 2 were that age when I turned to these pages in desperation...it definitely helped me. I think it just points you in the right direction when you get bogged down with trying to do the right thing all the time. Our children can be incredibly good at making us doubt ourselves huh?!

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