I am so DAMN SICK of my children arguing all the time <worn out emotion>

[DANCESwithaFewExtraPounds]

DD is almost 4 and ds is 2 so still v. young but if I hear one more shout (accompanied by screech) of 'MINE' or 'I WANT' they may not live to see their 4th and 3rd birthdays respectively. I know I'm sounding flippant but I have HAD ENOUGH today.

"bogged down"

yes i know that feeling

its worth a shot, thanks !

There's so much good stuff in this book. Would pass it through cyber space if I could! I gave it to a friend who was really upset with her 2 fighting all the time. It took me years to get the book back from her!!

my HV gave me a copy of 'The Rules'

cant remember who wrote it

still havent got round to reading it

Agree about letting them sort it out themselves.

Mine get on better without me about. I can hear them playing pretty well, but if I walk into the room they want me to take sides, sort things out and generally become judge and jury.

It is hard to imagine conflict resolution for children that age but I don't want to be the 'referee' as he says for the next 20 yrs so maybe it's worth a go. I'll have a look on amazon...thanks.

dances there are a few cheap ones on ebay

Hope it helps

Thanks. This thread should be cited on the latest flouncing one...you've all been fab

hey dances, have only just seen this and only read OP but you must be me!! exactly the same situation here, dd almost 4, ds almost 2 and the shouting in this house starts 2 minutes after getting up and ends when they are in bed (sometimes not even then )
just wanting to offer sympathy, will now read whole thread to see if ignoring them mostly (like i did last weekend) is advised by anybody

Hey empathy here too - my DD's are 5 and 2 and veer wildly from hugging and kissing each other obsessively to fighting and crying - usually because one won't play with the other one, or because one has a toy the other one wants. It always ends in tears. I find the hour or so before dinner the worst as they are tired and hungry. And so am I. Great tips on this thread, I definitely think I intervene too much. As an only child I find sibling issues tricky. Will try and effect a suitable air of nonchalance from here on in.

How's it going with your DD & DS today DANCESwithaFewExtraPounds...was thinking about you today!

HA! So funny that you posted I was just going to start a thread saying dc have been out in the garden for the last 35 mins in utter peace! They are playing with their own things but both busy and happy and NOT fighting! Bliss .
Thank you for asking

Bravo you!! What a difference a day makes though, I'm really pleased you are having a much better time today

Thanks, it's such a relief. It's so draining when you have a day like yesterday and so lovely when you have one like today

Mine are 6 and 10 and it does not stop as they get older.

Kimi- my older DCs are 16 and 14 and I still hear them working through the processes for sorting out disputes/arguments that I taught them years ago. It makes me smile to myself. It's all part of life's learning curve. If they can learn to settle arguments with siblings I think they'll find it easier interacting in that big world out there...

cookie - is toddler taming the place to start or straight to beyond toddlerdom as mine are almost 4yrs and 2yrs?

Yep! Toddlerdom would be a great start, don't know why I didn't think of that last night
Although both books obviously work to the same principal Toddlerdom is aimed at the under 5s.
If I can locate it I'll have a look to see what the lovely Dr Green says....(goes off in search of said book...)

Finally...said (much thumbed) book has been located..drum roll please!
Firstly, I am a total twit as it's not called Toddlerdom but 'Toddler Taming - A Parents' Guide to the First Four Years'...

I turned to the chapter on Sibling Rivalry and there's a great cartoon picture of 2 dcs both fighting for ownership of 1 very shocked looking cat. The speech bubbles read "MINE" lol

He goes on in great, but clear, detail to explain why our dcs behave the way they do. Sometimes it's so incredibly obvious that it's not until you read it in black and white that the light bulb in your head goes on and you think..ah! yes, silly me, that's why they spent 2 hrs squabbling over the blue bike when the red bike is exactly the same

'...When the Green's had just one toddler, I thought I knew all about children's behaviour. When we had two I realised how little I knew. Two toddlers are never difficult when separated by a distance of at least one kilometre; it is when they come together that they set each other off.
The creative genius of such young people is always astonishing. A duet of toddlers can devise ways to get into mischief well belong the imagination of any adult or child alone.'

That said he does offer a good plan of action without having to call in the United Nations peacekeepers

no constructive help to give you but I SO feel you frustration!

Hs brought me to the verge of tears before now.

OMG, sounds like either I am working on a commission basis for dear Doc Green or that I am actually Mrs Doc Green....

holds right hand up in best brownie salute and promises that Cookie is not related in anyway to the Greens

ok..what happened to my italics???

Dimpled - can be so frustrating huh? at least we are all/have been in the boat at some point

cookie

you have to do the pointy thing round each wordotherwise it doesn't work

don't know why but knowing someone else has been there really helps.

like this Dimpled???