Father of my children hasn't seen them in nearly a year

[goldenbread]

We've been exes for about 6 years, he was always flaky and had a few periods of him going awol but I tried so so hard to keep a relationship between him and the kids going, however he moved back to where his parenrs are (200 miles away) about a year ago and hasn't seen them since. He kept up with phone calls initially but went awol over Christmas and obviously the dc are upset, they are 8 and 11. I'm not sure how to deal with it, I'm so angry at him and sad for them, it would almost be better him he was dead, I know that sounds awful.

Sorry not sure what my question is, have any of you been through similar? Is there anything that helped your kids through it? How do I make them know it's not their fault?

Can you get his parents to put the pressure on? That's what I did. It helped considerably and it meant they knew I wasn't preventing access.

I've been in touch with his Mum, she's pretty shit too tbh

It must be so hard for you and the children. Could you maybe contact him and see what's going On?Or friends of his

The thing is I'm kind of done trying to help him have a relationship with them, I've honestly tried so hard and every time he fucks it up by going awol again. He gives me money very sporadically. He has mental health issues which he won't seek help for.