Hi MNs!
I apologise in advance for long, whining post! I need your help.
I've just got a call from DD friend's mum. She told me that my 11yo DD is behaving out of character for past couple of weeks, being mean and rude to her DD (My DD is happy, easy going and caring character, and has been so since she's been a toddler) The mum also mentioned that a couple of other DCs have mentioned to their parents about this change of behaviour. They have also commented that there has been a visible change since my DD has developed a new friendship.
To be honest, as a parent we always notice behavioural changes with our DCs way before we are told by others and it has been on my mind for some time. I've seen a shift in her character as this new friendship is blossoming. I've heard from two other mums that this new friend likes to seek out girls who are easy to manipulate and influence. It seems my DD is 'doing as she is told' and being mean to a few children in the class, as she is told to do. This has apparently been the character of this girl and she has been picking friends, getting them to do what she wants and when she's tired, she moves on to new friendships. My DD is in a new and happy phase of her friendship and can see no wrong in her friend. It would be pointless me telling her to move away from the friend at this stage. On the other hand I can't simply let this carry on. She is alienating herself from friends she has known since she was 4 yo.
I'm sorry for all the mumbo jumbo details. I just need help in trying to get my DD to see that this is not a healthy friendship and she should recognise this. Of course my first action is to make DD realise that her own behaviour towards her friends has been totally unacceptable. I need help in how to carefully get her to see that this new friendship maybe damaging.
Thanks for reading, I look forward to valuable input 🙏