Fabric softener safe for baby?

[MiniMummy576]

I'm sorry if this isn't exactly the right place to post this...
I currently use two types of fabric conditioner - one for DH and I which is white vinegar and essential oil and a 'sensitive skin' commercial fabric softener for DS (and new baby when it arrives!)

I'd avoided using the vinegar and essential oils on the kids' laundry as I had a vague notion that it would irritate young skin.
I've done a bit of searching on the internet, but am getting mixed results.

Would/does anyone use vinegar/EOs on laundry for babies?

Why do you need to use fabric softner at all? Surely washing powder is enough?

I’ve 3 dc and never used softener

Really? Doesn't your laundry go stiff when it dries?

I'd not use fabric softener, just to minimise any chemical that are on the baby clothes. It's just not necessary.

Just do an extra rinse cycle.

I use Fairy for the detergent and the softener - works for us and no issues for my baby.

I've always used fabric conditioner so my son's clothes have always been washed with it along side ours. He's three now and has no ill effects

It's not really the commercial fabric conditioner I'm worried about.
It would be easier for me to just use the vinegar and essential oil combo I use in the 'grown up' wash for all the laundry but I'm wondering whether the essential oil would irritate the baby's skin.

I reckon it would be so diluted by then it should be fine. What oil is it?

@Cutesbabasmummy
The one I'm currently using is Peppermint

Better to avoid all unnecessary chemicals in my opinion, including essential oils like peppermint. I use dryer balls in my tumble dryer which leave the washing nice and soft and also cut the overall drying time.

@blueberryporridge
I do have some wool balls which I've just started using, so there's those.
Problem is the majority of the time I leave my clothes to dry on a clothes horse in our lean-to as the weather's so unpredictable for putting them out on the line (and I tend to hang things out in the evening before bed). Experience is that anything washed without softener dries in the shape it was hanging IYSWIM.
So what I'm now thinking is that when my current bottle of commercial baby fabric softener runs out I'll switch it just for distilled vinegar.

Just wash a couple baby items with your laundry (make sure you remember which ones) and see if they react. Unless they have extremely sensitive skin, I really doubt they would.

I recently learned that chucking your air dried clothes in the tumbler dryer with some balls for just 10 mins really softens them up

Use less fabric detergent. That might be why fabric is stiff after only one wash.

White vinegar is fine and softens nicely without the Eos. You don't get a vinegar smell and it also neutralises any residual detergent.

Abracadabraapileofbollocks I use half the recommended dose for hard water areas and add a scoop of soda crystals to combat the limescale build up. My DM lives in the same area and does the same thing, but her clothes are never stiff, so don't think that could be it.... Although she tends to dry her clothes INSIDE rather than outside (shudders at the thought of all that moisture inside the house)
Could just be the different washing machine effect though I suppose?

Just use white vinegar without the oils. It’s a great fabric softener and you can’t smell vinegar at all.

I don't even use non bio cant stand the smell...

Both put babies clothes have just been washed with ours, bold gel and comfort softener, no problems with their skin at all