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Original poster

Damn that film Coco - 5yo so upset!

36 replies

Sunshine567 · 15/01/2018 04:20

So my 5yo has seen the trailers for coco and has wanted to watch for while. She saw it yesterday afternoonwith dad and seemed to really enjoy. However as I was putting her to bed out of the blue she starts sobbing saying she doesn’t want to become a skeleton. She doesn’t want to get old and die and go to heaven or have a family coz they’ll die too. I was totally taken aback. Obviously didn’t want to lie and say that won’t happen but told her it won’t happen for a very very long time. Took us a while but eventually got her to calm down to go to bed but still think she’s going to have questions. Just interested if any others have had this chat with their lo and what you said?
PS I know I should’ve looked into what coco was about - I just thought it was a nice Pixar film about a boy who liked music so I know I brought this on myself

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MrsDilber · 15/01/2018 04:29

Sounds a bit dark for Pixar. Poor lass. I remember my DS at that age, coming home crying after hearing the Easter story at school. He sobbed about Mary's son dying by being nailed to the cross. He drew some very dark pictures too, crucifixion pictures. We also had to leave the cinema, when Elf was in prison, DS took off in fright.

It's so difficult because they lose that innocence, the world, life, can be hard, but you want to protect them from the bad stuff.

Ps. DS is 20 now and a true atheist.

alltheworld · 15/01/2018 04:33

We saw it and kids and adults were crying. It has some deep themes about death and loss and very complicated plotline. I saw Bambi at a young age and have never forgotten it.

20PoundsOfCrazyInA5PoundBag · 15/01/2018 04:38

I mean it was very clear what it was about... And the day of the dead is about celebrating those who have passed. Maybe you should teach her more about it.

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user1487372252 · 15/01/2018 04:38

I saw it yesterday and can see why some little ones may get upset. I thought it was a truly beautiful film and can see why Pixar wanted to make it. It's rated a PG so you should have probably had a wee look as to why that was. Perhaps just explain to your dd that you don't have Day of the dead in your culture so that's not what will happen to her. If you do have a belief explain this to her

LizTaylorsFabulousTurban · 15/01/2018 04:38

Their generation's Watership Down? We were shown it at school and so many of us were distraught the headmaster asked, between reels*, whether we wanted to leave. Half the hall put their hands up and got yo have early play.

*showing my age there...

LolitaLempicka · 15/01/2018 04:40

I haven’t seen the film but isn’t it set in Mexico? Mexican cultures are very different surrounding death and they are not seen as dark at all. Also other Pixar movies talk of death (Up, where his wife loses the baby....and when she dies, had me sobbing) It is not healthy to try to shield children from death, it is a part of life. Besides 5 year olds are obsessed with death from my experience. It is around 5 years old that they understand mortality, it is a perfectly typical developmental milestone.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 15/01/2018 04:45

I don't have any advice but I've seen the trailer and tbh I have been slightly concerned about the themes. And was fairly surprised when I saw it was Disney Pixar.

to an extent Disney movies have always had a bit of darkness, yep another affected by bambi and when scar throws mufasa of the cliff in lion king, and as an 11 year old I literally sobbed when the mob were chasing the beast.

Phillipa12 · 15/01/2018 04:48

My ds aged 9 watched it with his cousins on Saturday, he loved it but then when he was 5 his 3 year old sister died so death and loss is part of our everyday life. You cant always protect them from the bad stuff but you can answer questions honestly and with what you believe.

Flamingoose · 15/01/2018 04:52

My 5yo hasn't seen the movie, but she has still gone through a phase of being devastated at the realisation that we will all die. Everyone has to realise for the first time at some point in their life - and it's not unusual for this to happen at about five. You did the right thing to reassure her. Make sure she knows that it's okay to talk about it, answer her questions fairly honestly, and most of all reassure her.

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/01/2018 04:55

A lot of these sorts of films have lasting memories on children. You cannot predict which one. My dd last year at 8 was in bits over The Good Dinosaur. I vividly remember bambi at about 5 and it was heartbreaking. My dd at 7 thought bambi was boring and switched it off. We watched ET together last year and I was the one crying!

I agree, Mexican culture is not dark just different. Don’t let your dd see The Book of the Dead either. This will freak her out too.

CheapSausagesAndSpam · 15/01/2018 05:02

It's that age OP....if it wasn't coco it would have been someone in the playground telling her something about death.

When mine realised death was real, we made some Day of the Dead cakes and pictures and I told her about Mexican culture because I thought she'd like the celebratory nature....she did...and she laughed when she realised we all carry a skeleton about with us.

AlmondPearls · 15/01/2018 05:07

I remember when Littlefoot's mother died. I've never been the same again. I can't even talk about it without crying as an adult.

LivingInTheSeventies · 15/01/2018 05:29

My 4 and 6 year old enjoyed it. The 6 year old had a couple of tears (as did I) but I’m comfortable about them watching it. I thought it was a lovely message and a well constructed story line.
There was another animated film that had a strong death theme about a Japanese story teller boy that I (and all my dcs) also enjoyed but I can’t remember it’s name.
I like opportunities to discuss life and death...

palmfronds · 15/01/2018 05:32

Seventies was it Kubo and the Two Strings? I thought that film was absolutely wonderful!

HoppingPavlova · 15/01/2018 05:54

There will always be something that sets a kid off. I remember being upset at Bambi (the Mum dying), Dumbo (the Mum being locked away from him), Watership Down (too much to list) etc. Everyone lives through it and survives. No idea where not exposing kids to anything that could potentially be remotely upsetting came from but it seems to have resulted in lots of overly sensitive kids.

Also we had Tom and Jerry, Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Roadrunner etc. All ‘violent’ by today’s standard yet not only did it not bother kids at all back then but it seems that there was less general violence back then than today with people who have grown up being ‘protected’ from all that stuff. Go figure.

BoomBoomsCousin · 15/01/2018 06:59

Mine had similar realisations/questions at that age too. Can't remember what it was that triggered them. I took a similar tack as you - "Yes, but not for a very, very long time." also talked about stages of life, that it would be after they'd grown up, after they'd got to the point where they wanted to leave home, make their own family, their children had grown up, left home, had their own children, etc.

We've always talked about death and the circle of life when we've been out on hikes, about how living things go through stages and end up going back in the ground to feed new life. I didn't reference that directly, but I think (hope) that helped build a foundation that the talk about stages built off. But it's a harsh thing to understand, we had lots of tears from one DC and it was a late night.

LivingInTheSeventies · 15/01/2018 07:02

palmfronds yes, that’s it! Thanks, great movie.

TittyGolightly · 15/01/2018 07:09

Don’t let your dd see The Book of the Dead either.
I think you mean Book of Life - another beautiful film and one of my DD’s favourites since she was about 4.

We saw it yesterday. DD (7) and I both sobbed. She has lost great grandparents, attended their funerals and we are very open about death (my parents weren’t with me and it really didn’t do me any good).

I’m atheist. That the dead are remembered so clearly in Mexican culture is a beautiful concept to me, and I thought the film did an amazing job of encapsulating it. Yes, DD was upset,but her joy at the end was incredible and we had a very good discussion afterwards about how we remember those that have gone.

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/01/2018 14:07

Titty
I do indeed.

There is a horror film, Day of the Dead, that’s also not a good move.

alltheworld · 15/01/2018 18:36

What I think is particularly hard about the film is that it introduces this idea of annihilation. The dead on the other side evaporate when the last person living forgets them.

Froggyonaplate · 15/01/2018 21:56

I took my ds (5) to see it and I sobbed, brilliant but sad film. He understood it and was fine with it but it did raise some questions about what happens when we die.
We're Christians so I talked about going to Heaven and Jesus taking care of us forever so he was happy with that. I don't think avoiding difficult subjects like death and the afterlife is a good thing really. Children have to learn about them at some point and if you know the plot of a film you can be a bit prepared about how to answer questions.

ChristinaW16 · 16/01/2018 22:22

We took our four year-old twins to watch this at the weekend and I was utterly touched by it. It is incredibly sad, but I commented to my husband that it was a good way to introduce a big scary topic in a sensitive way. One of the girls did cry a bit in the cinema whereas the other one said very matter-of-factly that night - I didn't realise you die when you get very old. So it was an opportunity to chat about how one day, great grandma will pass on as she is very old...and they were very accepting of that.

I thought Coco was spectacular and heartwarming. It's the best film I've seen in some time, but I do know what you mean as we can never predict how children will be affected.

ElphabaTheGreen · 16/01/2018 22:27

I thought it was lovely

My DSs (5 & 3) had no issues with it, but then my DM, who lived with us and with whom they were very close, died suddenly last year, so we've had an awful lot of death/loss/grief conversations over the past 9 months.

Valerrie · 16/01/2018 22:32

It's a beautiful and touching film. DD 9 and I both shed a tear.

Children will always start to question death at around that age. I think Coco is a gentle way to start to discuss it if necessary.

Valerrie · 16/01/2018 22:32

It's a beautiful and touching film. DD 9 and I both shed a tear.

Children will always start to question death at around that age. I think Coco is a gentle way to start to discuss it if necessary.

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