Remedy please, for not getting so irritated by my children

[ThereIsTooMuchConfusion]

I love my two dd’s it goes without saying. Recently they just really irritate me and I have no patience, I can feel myself being very snappy and sometimes without any cause to be. I hate it so much, please pass on your pearls of wisdom to me of how to not be so irritated and being back that patient mum I once was.

I have been meditating and doing mindfulness recently and it definitely helps.

Found a free app called 'Stop, breathe, think', which is good.

Sometimes when I'm feeling irritated or stressed, I stop, stand stil, close my eyes and take some really deep breaths, with a longer exhale than inhale (e.g. breathe in for 4 and out for 6). My dd has noticed this makes a difference to me and I've started including her in this.

That’s a good idea, my dd (9) would love to be involved with this too. Thank you

I don’t know, OP, but I’m exactly the same. I think I’ve hit peak being jumped-on, touched, muuuuummmyyyyed at, asked to fetch juice after I asked them three times and then sat down, putting them back in bed multiple times during the evening...Gaah.

TooExtra thanks, at least we can be irritated parents together 😂! Get annoyed by them and then annoyed at myself for being annoyed where can we apply for annual leave ???

DD talks. All. The. Time!
I crave silence

Tutti fruity - that is the whole point in this post. I do put myself in their situation and I feel shit about it. I don’t want to snap at them and have always calmly talked to them in the past. But for whatever reason (that I am looking for wisdom on) I have lost that somewhere along the line. I’d love to be calm and patient but I cannot stop the irritation I feel. I will try the counting/breathing thing to try and help

Same here. Constant cycle of starting each day swearing I'll be more patient and won't shout, but every single day I fuck it up.

I can't deal with the constant bickering. It's so much worse than I ever thought it would be, and I have ASD so I'm not very good at putting myself in their place, I'm not very good at keeping calm, and just the noise of it all can tip me over the edge.

Its so hard, meditation sounds like a good place to start.

I think most parents feel this way. That they are constantly disciplining, nagging, telling off, shouting, feeling exasperated when they ignore you. But I've come to realise actually it is our job to do those things (maybe not the shouting bit!) and without it, they would have no boundaries and would become confused adults. I don't think being calm all the time would have the same effect. So I think, even though it can be exhausting, as long as they are behaving well outside of the home, then that's the right way round and home is where they let off steam and behave a bit more unruly, so it's totally normal that we lose it from time to time.

Obviously there are limits to this though, and if I'm particularly snappy with them, it's usually due to something else happening in my life, not them.

Same here.
I’m sat here in tears after a showdown with DD 10.
I can’t bear to think what she is going to be like with me at 16.
I love her so much and I know she loves me but she’s started having these terrible tempers and they escalate so fast.
I’m demented.
I might try meditating with her. I do it already so it could be worth a try.

Sorry to hear others are having a hard time but also slightly reassuring. I’ll keep trying to make an effort and I will try the relaxation techniques and meditation.

I just wish I had a bit more control on the irritation side of things