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Parenting

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Aspergers diagnosis

14 replies

surlycurly · 12/01/2018 21:01

Hi is there anyone out there with HFASD? Preferably female? I'm mid diagnosis and could do with chatting about some of the difficulties. TIA

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Kingsclerelass · 14/01/2018 00:35

I'm aspie. I've never bothered with dx though because I worry having a "label" gives people an opportunity to discriminate, so I'm not sure I'm much use to you.
I work, keep my head down and try hard to avoid upsetting people. I'm lucky, I work in a dept of one so need to get on with people is less.

surlycurly · 14/01/2018 10:34

I work in a large team (high school) and it's mainly work that has prompted me to get the diagnosis. I'm struggling to fit in and constantly offend people with my opinions about what we're not getting right, and my frustration when people don't do what they say. Short of resigning I'm going to have to tell them or look for another school. It's al rather depressing.

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surlycurly · 17/01/2018 10:24

Bump

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Kingsclerelass · 17/01/2018 16:33

Does the school have someone responsible for special needs kids. Could you have a chat with her/him? Maybe she would act as a sounding board for you.

I have a colleague with an aspie son who, if I'm getting really frustrated with people over something, reads my emails before I hit send, and suggests some rewording for me.

I do feel for you. The last place I worked was awful. I was higher qualified than my director and she thought that my "brusqueness" was me being patronising. She responded by trying to humiliate me into submission. I find working for men easier - they don't seem to be so easily offended. Don't give up though Flowers

surlycurly · 17/01/2018 21:15

My female boss isn't a fan of mine either to be honest but I'm just exasperated with work generally and I'm struggling to disguise it. I appreciate the message by the way- This is all quite new and daunting, as much as it's reassuring and a relief. I look forward to knowing how to deal with all this a bit better!

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Kingsclerelass · 19/01/2018 11:01

When you find out, please share any tips with me.

I had another thought. Have you read a book called Odd Girl Out. That helped a bit.

I've had a success this week, which is probably tiny but is a relief.
For the last year another mum has taken my ds to school in the morning & I contributed to costs.
Before xmas her kids were ill and so I took my ds in. But then once they were back at school, she didn't reply to my text about if it was ok to resume. I assumed I'd upset her & it really got me down because I had no idea how. Yesterday she texted and said did I want her to take ds as before. And this morning she was lovely and perhaps it wasn't me. Maybe she just needed some downtime. Little wins... Smile

lottieandmia22 · 26/02/2018 01:43

Hi. I have Aspergers. I was diagnosed last October. I am very frustrated with how it affects my relationships. I will start dating someone and explain I'm autistic. They say it's fine and then later if something goes wrong they throw in my face the fact I seemed anxious or accuse me of only talking about myself & rambling. I'm currently dating someone who thinks he can cure my autism by releasing trapped emotions. I feel terrible. Because of how my brain is, I just get stuck on things. I say to people to tell me if I'm rambling at the time and try to help me move the conversation on but they don't and then later seem angry with me about it. Why the fuck can't they just tell me at the time instead of storing it and using it later against me?

And I completely relate to your point about people not doing what they say they will do. That really stresses me.

Nat6999 · 20/03/2018 07:44

Is anyone else with ASD really untidy? I'm waiting for an assessment but all of my life I've been the untidiest person on earth, my flat looks like the inside of a skip, I know having ME/CFS & Fibromyalgia don't help as I don't have much energy but even before I started having problems with them I was untidy. Wish I could find some way of getting a tidy gene transplant

Hillarium · 20/03/2018 10:04

I'm very untidy. Lots of people on the spectrum are because it has to do with executive function (mine is poor)

Nat6999 · 20/03/2018 13:55

At last I can prove it's not my fault my flat looks like the inside of a skip, both me & my son have ASD.

Hillarium · 20/03/2018 14:26

No it's not your fault. I really struggle to organise things. I desperately want to be tidy 😩

Nat6999 · 20/03/2018 14:44

So do I but it's like trying to plait fog sometimes 😀

Hillarium · 20/03/2018 16:14

Haha, it is!

surlycurly · 23/03/2018 21:35

I used to be a total mess but I got soooo stressed out losing everything all the time, I decided I had to tidy up and organise myself. I'm now a bit OCD and my house is always tidy. I can't cope otherwise. My head melts.

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