Terrible twos / threenager support thread

[Belleende]

Hello all,

Thought I would start this and see where is goes. I am mum to 2 DDS. One 7 weeks and one 2.5. currently on mat leave.

My DD1 has always been a lively high energy kid, but has lately been incredibly challenging. Last week it took me 1.5 hours to get her into her clothes and out the door. I started a thread here and got great support.

There are lots of separate threads with good advice on, but I thought it might be helpful to have a go to place for help support and advice on dealing with the daily challenges of toddler wrangling.

My current challenges include, how to get dressed without a drama, how to manage transitions without meltdowns, to nap or not to nap, how to maintain sanity when toddler asks for a bath and then refuses to get in it, how to keep it light and playful when you are feeling just short of murderous.

Say howdy if you think this might be useful and we can go from there.

How are you feeling now Belle? Have the tea and biscuits done the trick?

FIL is the same as your DF. Shame as it really restricts the time he can look after the DCs - MIL has no issues doing nappies but struggles with her mobility and suffers from carpal tunnel. FIL on the other hand won't even check their nappies - we once had to take DS2 to the GP because he'd been in a pooey nappy so long that I couldn't get his skin to heal up

I love you isthistoonosy.
My day got worse. Only forgot about the fecking health visitor coming. The house was a shit tip, DD1 looking particularly feral running around in tights and vest. DD2 in boak covered onsie I was about to change (honest), me in mismatched PJs and Cbeebies on full blast. The only saving grace was that the food all over DD1's face was broccoli which she loves.

Scummy mummy tastic.

Belle the HV will have seen much worse!

Belle I'm a full time teacher as well (on mat leave currently though) so virtual high fives to your dear Mum!! Don't worry about the health visitor - she'll have definitely seen worse. The last time mine called I'd totally forgotten about it as well...my sink was so full of dishes that she could hardly get to the tap to wash her hands & I didn't realise that my boob was out for about 5 minutes after answering the door as I'd been feeding the baby. AND the (then) 2 year old was potty training & shouted from the bathroom "Muuuuuummmmmyyyy!!! My willy won't fit in the pooottyyyyyy!!!" Pretty standard 5 mins in this house!

Mine is half an hour into an epic snotty screaming shit fit that I won't let her go ti school. I had to carry her home from the gates of the local primary school while she kicked and screamed. I am glad the baby's pram pushes well one handed.

Ahhh isthistoonosy that sounds amazing.

Belle you have a newborn and a toddler... I think that is quite enough to ditch any super mum routine! That doesn't sound too bad for the HV either - I bet they've seen much, much worse!

I've just had a flashback to yesterday dinner time where DD threw a strop because she wanted my dinner, which was exactly the same as her dinner.

I'm so glad I found this thread! Having a nightmare with my youngest 2.5yr who seems to have massive tantrums over the most minor of offences. Today in a coffee shop he wanted a mini muffin with sprinkles. I bought him a mini muffin with sprinkles. The lady in the cafe picked up the wrong muffin...... cue meltdown of epic proportions! This is not even the tip of the iceberg of the meltdowns we experience daily. Starting to worry what the neighbours might be thinking as his screaming is relentless. My eldest was a difficult 2 yr old but this one is something else.............

My toddler has woken up with a bit of a cold. She spent 10 minutes coughing and then vomited milk and snot every where so we could not go to soft play. She has been fine since.

Hi all, new to this thread! I have 2 DSs, 3.2yrs and 6 weeks. Ds1 is a wilful child (familial trait ). We have a lot of foot stamping, hitting and shouting in our house. I try to calm him, explain why we don't do that etc before using naughty step if it continues. Should I be doing something else? What's normal and a phase and what's just a really naughty child?
We're trying to cut him a bit of slack with the new baby etc but afraid we're too lenient

It's weird DD has never had a full on screaming kicking tantrum. The problem we have is more that she just won't accept "no". She doesn't tantrum, she just doesn't it anyway.
Also she really plays up to certain people - showing off. Especially grandparents. The thing that winds me up more than anything is if we have company at mealtimes or if we go out for meals she'll crawl about under the table. It drives me mad! She doesn't do it when it's just us in fact her manners are usually pretty good.
I'm trying to pick my battles in the hope that she'll understand no means no if she hears it a bit less often.

DS has a cold so we are up to the eyeballs in mucus and sadness. He was up in the night wailing (new lesson: your DC calling 'Nananana' for you is even worse than just plain wailing) but seemed ok this morning so we went to playgroup But he then woke himself up coughing from his nap and has been a sad little boy ever since. I had a Total
Supermummy Fail and ended up sticking on Stickman, followed by Room on the Broom, followed by The Highway Rat - anything for a bit of peace and no more grizzling

I also have a sore throat, and DH just asked me if I was still going to yoga tonight. Hahahahahahahaha at the idea I might miss a chance for a hour's break!

Poor DS, I am a horrible mother

spud anything goes with poorly babas. I think we beat ourselves up about the odd lazy day but forget this is sometimes exactly what they need.

My mum arrives tomorrow for some distraction. I might even get washed.

spud isn’t it crazy the things we do for a break. You could always sneak a blanket into the car and have a long nap outside the yoga class.

When ds was little I checked myself into a&e (over seas in a very private hospital paid by our very expensive insurance) for stomach pains that weren’t really that bad, but I jumped at the suggested from my gp. I was over the moon when they decided to do a ct but had to wait a few hours. Very happily snoozing in peace in my very own little cubicle in a&e. Felt almost as good as I imagine a spa day would. Thankful that it turned out not to be anything too serious.
(Not making light of anyone who is ill, just the things that we do to get a break)

Dread to say it but we had a good day today. Spent 2 hours at the pool so I’m shattered but no major melt downs ( so far)

Can i give everyone a hug? C'mon group hug. We deserve it!

On the whole my day hasn't been too bad. The small child would tell me what she wanted for breakfast. So I made us both porridge. Whereupon she kept trying to steal mine. Even though she had hers sitting in front of her.

Then in library she wandered around shouting for me like she was lost or something. She wasnt her daddy was with her. I was trying to send an important email. hah!!

I shan't even talk about lunch.

Went to science centre where, for most part was quite happy. Then we tried to leave. Snotters and tears galore. Refused to put on her jacket and hat so we left. Thinking "it's cold out, she'll change her mind" she didn't. She just tried to pick up the snow. Thankfully car was not far but as soon as we were driving on busy road? Yup "mummy, cold".

Topped off by crazy bath time. Didnt want to go in bath, didnt want to come out. No nappy, no to pj's, no to drying hair. Managed to get pull ups on her before she danced away.

OH comes in to try and get her ready. Oh but then its 'NO MUMMYS TURN'. Whit the fuck do you think I've been trying to do for past 20mins?!!!! Arrrrrrrrrgggghhhhh!

She did let me wash her hair without any drama though.

Today has been a good day.

I'm not sure if I have read this thread in awe at everyones survival skills or total fear that my already feisty 15 month old welly wearing dd is going to turn into a nightmare very soon!
I have four dc 21yo dd, 2 x15yo ds & dd and the little one and have completely forgotten how blooming hard toddlerdom is.
Pass the choccy and biscuits plz...... oh and the tepid tea with weird things floating in it

I know what you mean Winner I had a 20 mins wait at the vet's today and it was bliss. I actually read a magazine. OK it was about cats (that was all they had in the waiting room) and the visit cost me £60 but that 20 mins was a treat!

Wow Minx that must be hard to go back to toddlerdom after that gap!

DD had crisps and pizza for dinner tonight after me cooking a nice rissotto which she refused!

Right, I want to sleep tonight. Toddler thou shalt not wake at 2am demanding pancakes and newbie, thou shall become the hallowed babe wot sleeps through from 8 weeks.

For tomorrow I get to go to the babies welcome showing of the latest star wars. My favourite maternity leave activity, except for eating cake. Yipeeee.

Good luck Belle.

I am wrecked this morning. Toddler woke me randomly throughout night screaming, though not actually awake herself. Baby woke at 4 for a feed, then didn't go back to sleep til 5, when toddler woke up.

It is now 6.15, I have made porridge which has been served in the (apparently) wrong bowl. She gave up on complaining about that when I threatened to go back to bed.

Baby and DH are still sleeping and I am now fuming because I am the only one who can feed baby but I am not the only one who can make porridge, so really it should be me who is now sleeping. Unfortunately DD screams the place down if I attempt to sleep longer than she does and DH has never prioritised solving that problem for obvious fucking reasons.

Today will be tough.

F

just joining the thread, I'm learning to juggle two girls, 2.5yrs and 3 months. today i found a raisin in my 3 month olds nappy...toddler has been trying to feed her raisins and peppa stickers for days and somehow one snuck through despite countless tellings off and not leaving them alone, ever. I dont know how to convey to a toddler her actions could choke a baby when she laughs in my face...will be following the thread with interest as I mostly suck at this. I thought I was patient and calm generally, but 2.5yr old dd knows how to give me instant rage. so far using time outs but not very effective. might try sticker charts next

Wahhhh. 2.5 year old is in the midst of dropping her nap (or removing mummies last sanity crutch). The silver lining to this was she would then sleep later in the mornings. 5am is not sleeping later. And she has a cough. WAHHHH.

Welcome silky that is a really tough one. For things like hitting and dangerous behaviour, I have instigated putting her straight in her room, no warnings as she has been told til I am blue in the face. You might want a sanction a step up from thinking step.

Why do they wake up so early? Why????

Silky could you make a new rule that the older one only has snacks at the table under supervision? It's too dangerous to risk her giving the baby something else.

its not just food but toys and stickers, ive stopped countless attempts and they are never left alone so dont know how it could have happened, i just need to stop blinking as that is all it takes for trouble to occur! we are all ill with cold/fever/vomiting bug so that doesnt help. dh is staying in bed too ill to parent so I have to deal with it all. gonna grab a hot bath once hes up and lock the door for half an hour peace!