What do you think when you see young parents?

[Loner1993]

NC for this as along with my other posts could be outing.

I’m 24, possibly look a bit younger, and had my first baby this year. Often find myself getting judgemental looks (especially from the older generation) when out and about with baby. Had a few people tut at me (always old men).

I’m a qualified doctor and live with long term partner (also in professional job) in our own home. Our baby was planned. We always look clean and presentable. We are finiancially stable. Why are people tutting and looking down at me? And why is it the generation who typically used to have their babies when they were even younger (16-18).

It’s actually starting to make me not want to go out with my baby for fear of blatant judgement and disapproval.

You are 24, that is (was?) a normal age to have babies.
If you think anyone is looking at you askance, give them the death stare.

Possibly the 'judgemental looks' is what you are perceiving, rather than what is actually happening ?

When exactly do you think people typically had babies aged 16 - 18 ? (in the UK, and who are born recently enough to still be alive) ?

When I see young parents I think lucky them. I was 39 (almost 40) having my son and I have so little energy now compared to when I was in my 20s. I keep saying that I should have done it 20 yrs earlier. It’s biologically a much better time to have children.

I don't think anything.

I think how lucky they are to have such lovely babies. Which cone to think of it is exactly the same thing I think when I see any parents.

Please don’t miss out on going out with your baby because you think people are judging you. If people look at you they are probably thinking something along the lines of “Gawd, my plies are really itchy” or “”why does that Mum keep looking at me funny”? 🙂

24 isn’t a young parent HTH

Do you look down your nose to people who aren't in professional jobs? No? Then why bring up the doctor bit.

People are far more concerned with themselves and their own lives to think much. If I see a baby I think 'cute baby' and that's about it.

I agree that I doubt anyone is judging you. 24 is not 'young'. If you're out with a baby then you are looked at differently. This is probably more noticeable when you are younger and maybe used to being considered attractive or interesting in your own right. You are now more or less invisible apart from your pram.

I feel sorry for them. Better to be off travelling or doing exciting things when you are young, rather than being tied to a kid

My grandmother had had her three by 24. I don't think anything unless the kids look neglected.

I don't think 24 is a young parent, particularly. If you look younger then I guess you might feel more aware of your age than other women do.

The older men that are tutting at you could be doing so for a myriad of reasons, perhaps just because you're a mother with a young child irrespective of your age. You don't know that it's because they think you are an underage parent.

Don't let your worries about your age put you off doing what you want to do.

24? I'd finished having my babies by that age.

I suppose it depends where you live but I thought you were going to be 16/17 from the thread title. I wouldn't even notice you tbh.

When I see very young parents I try very hard not to make the patronising sympathy face that follows the the thought that it must be very difficult and that I wouldn't have coped.

I feel a bit sorry for them. It is much easier to travel and take risks when you don't have kids to look after. I would probably think they were missing out a bit. But I'd also be unlikely to think that for more than about 5 seconds before thinking about something else. I wouldn't disapprove. I also don't think 24 is particularly young to have a baby.

I had my first child at 19 and actually never had this problem. I was also a single mum to be (long story) but I’ve never been judged. Well I probably have never felt judged if that makes sense. Maybe I look older? I remember when I was pregnant a woman kept ringing me inviting me to a ‘young mums’ support group. I never went. The thought of it made me shiver! 😂

24 isn’t that young. In fact the older generation were probably more likely to have children this age whereas these days woman often wait longer to start a family.

😊

I meant I probably have been judged behind my back but I’ve never noticed it!

My dm had me her second child when she was 24 many years ago. Its common enough to have a baby at that age. Maybe you feel yourself you are too young. Otherwise just enjoy your baby.
Also as you get older you thing everyone is too young..the police, the doctors, the teachers..everyone!!

I'm not even sure I believe the doctor bit, sorry. I apologise to you sincerely if it's true but a doctor planning a baby at 23 or 24 doesn't sound believable to me.

As a single parent without qualifications I was probably spared some judgement because I was in my 30s. I'd worked for much longer than some people who were judging me, but whatever the judgment is, learn to let it slide off you. Whatever that judgment is.

women get it in the neck for having their DC too young, leaving it too late, taking a chance on a man who turns out to want out or turns out to be abusive. It's always women who are judged whether they go back to work, stay at home, depend on a man, don't depend on a man, breast feed, formula feed, have an baby shower, you name it, mothers will be judged :-) get used to that

When I was 24 I had 3 children. The eldest was 6.

24 is not a teen mum. It is not even a very young mum really.

I was 17 when I had my first. I only ever had a couple of negative comments but that was more because I was single for a time rather than being young.

I had far more positive comments about what a good mum I was and how lovely my children were. It never stopped me from going to any groups or clinics etc.

I had my 5th baby just after my 30th birthday. I have lost count of the number of people who have asked if they have the same father (they do)If we're married (we are) If we are on benefits(we're not)If we have a TV (several) Are we having more (NO)

People are nosey.

Honestly, when I see anyone with a small baby I have a moment of envy while I remember how scrummy babies are and then I feel absolute relief that I don't have to look after one myself anymore because they are really hard work!

I don't think any differently, whether a mum is 16 or 46. I would feel sad to see a 14 year old with a baby but I wouldn't judge.

most of the older generation had their children by 24. They must think you look much younger than that.
I don't really think anything when I see a young mum to be honest but I think it would need a teen in it to make me think 'young'

I was 17 when I had my first child so Iwhen I see ay young parent I have full sympathy,hope and faith because it’s hard enough parenting when you’re still a bit of a kid yourself never mind having judgemental people making you feel even shitter. I wouldn’t say 24 is young tbh

If I think anything, it s how much more energy they must have to cope with nights.

I was nannying at 19 and never got any looks, but I guess we are all different.

Does that mean you planned your baby in the last year of med school?

Coming from someone who did have a baby very young, I stopped caring about what others thought, they meant nothing to me.

My DD wasn't planned, I wasn't financial stable, didn't have a professional job or my own house - did that make me any less of a parent than any other mother? Aren't we all just trying our best. Personal circumstances can change, no matter how 'set up' a person may be.

Like CarysMa said, people will always find something to judge you for.

I doubt many people give a toss tbh.