Letting 4 yo DS go to the toilet by himself

[malteser17]

Hi all. Since my 4 yo (nearly 5) DS started school, he's realised the difference between boys toilets and girls toilets and whenever we're out and about (and mostly it's just me and him as my stbxh are in the middle of separating) he wants to go to the boys toilets by himself. My main worry is more the practical side of not being able to open/close doors, reach the soap and taps etc, as it's amazing how few places seem to realise that children use public toilets as well. I do let him go by himself for the most part but I always worry that if anything happens I can't help him. What's everyone else's opinion? Should I let him go by himself or take him into the ladies toilet until he's older? TIA xx

I’d continue taking him to the ladies, for all the logistical reasons you have already stated, and because he’s safer with an adult.

I would carry on taking him into the ladies or use accessible toilets tbh
There is the practical part but also safety as well.

It is a conundrum though. I have numerous times taken girls to the loo over the years or offered to go and check when lone dads are waiting outside but it just feels different with boys/men

Take him into the ladies definitely. Until around age 8. I took mine in with me up until about then. Had a partner then and if he was there they’d go in to the gents with him. Apparently the urinals can be a bit high off the ground sometimes so a little boy can have trouble reaching over to pee, so need a little help.

Explain to him about heavy doors etc and that until he can show you in the ladies he is able to go alone then he carries on coming with you

My DS is 6 and still comes with me.