Friend's baby being taken into care - need advice

[cornflakegirl]

My friend is 21 and has a 3mo daughter. My friend has a lowish IQ (83) and has been living in an assessment unit since her daughter was born.

Her family and friends think that she is doing really well. She's keeping herself and her daughter clean, fed and happy. She is clearly totally in love with her daughter, and her dd seems very contented, growing well etc.

Her time in the unit is up this week, and social services are applying for a court order to take her dd into care when she leaves the unit. This seems to be based on an unreasonably high expectation of my friend's performance as a mother.

For example, they claim that her dd isn't bonded with her because her dd doesn't maintain constant eye contact with her while feeding.

I, perhaps naively, expected SS to help my friend to be a "good enough" mother, and believed that keeping a baby with it's mother was paramount unless there was a real danger of neglect (or abuse, which isn't a factor here).

My friend has a solicitor who seems to be good, but her family and friends are at a loss to know how best to help her keep her baby. Can anyone help?

Yes I agree with gothicmamma, I think you should take the iniative. If I were you I would arrange a meeting with the various professionals, have they been meeting together while you have been in Cardiff. You are also entitled to see your file, you just have to give 40 days notice.
If as you say your accommodation is suitable for a child, then I would say the sooner you have him the better.
The decisions they make or assessments they cary out while you are apart while just instintively change when you are together. It was one thing to come up with objections to you living with him, another thing entirely once you have got him with you, to remove him from your care.
I would also find out which team you would be under in Cardiff and inform them that of your plans, and ask what sort of help you need.
Also I think if you can get legal aid, its always wise to have a solicitor on your side, I think any lawyer would make mince meat of them
You can CAT me if you like.

Will just instinctively change

Why do you have to move back in the holidays? Why not just stay there for the rest of your degree, he'll be used to fulltime childcare so you could just temp during the week as much as you need to keep you etc.
The uprooting argument is daft, the two of you have a right to start your own life together. The younger he is the less he'll notice TBH.

come back in holidays just so i can see friends, family etc. all my friends will go home in the holidays so would be very lonely to stay here. would probably stay for some of the summer holiday as its so long, but wouldnt want to be alone here for 4 months!! also i have a job at home where the boss would give me work just in the holidays cos he knows me, but would be probably difficult to get a similar job on that basis without having already worked there iyswim.

wasn't planning on using a fireguard. i don't know anyone who does!! i'm not even sure the flats i've looked at have fires, just central heating!!!

i don't drive atm but if i pass by next semester we'll have our own car seat anyway. the only thing im worried about is what ds will sleep in. all the flats com furnished with a double bed in each room. at 15 months he's going to be too big for the normal sized cot we already have but i'm not sure a toddler bed plus a double bed is going to fit in very well ..

do you think ds would be ok in the double bed against a wall with a bed guard on the other?

might try co sleeping too. i only have a single bed at my mums so we've never been able to do it. the times i have tried hes kept me awake kicking me and pulling my hair and soon gone back in his cot!! can i ask did you put the bed against the wall so she couldn't escape?

im with overrun.

im also a Sw currently SAHM and this sounds very very odd.
either they are worried about somehing someone ha said and your refusal to speak with HV has been taken way out of proportion or its all a pile of poo.

either way i think you need to make contaxct with ss and try and fimnd out first hand whats happening here.

moving may ne unsettlingt but its not damaging for a child. it is always the primary role for a sw to ensure that the child remains with its parents unless it is detremental to his emotional or physical wellbeing.

something isn't right here.

beds here quite high. do you think a bed guard would work on a double bed?

i don't even know the name of the sw involved and my mum says she doesn't remember

email me - [email protected]

do you think it would be ok for one of those £3.99 couriers. what are the dimensions?

that should be okay you are allowed 1.5m max length and 3m max length + girth combined.

weight doesn't matter. i'm guessing its not more than 30kg!!

it's on ebay. the price has gone up to £4.70 since i last used them, but that's still good.