Does your toddler have meltdowns like this?

[daimbar]

My 2.5 year old DD has at least one meltdown like this a day (usually 2 or 3) and I thought it was fairly standard until I had to take her home in a taxi yesterday and the taxi driver said he had four children and he’d never seen anything like it.
⁃ comes out of nowhere over nothing (or something trivial like she has put her shoes on the wrong feet.
⁃ Starts with screaming, shouting and throwing herself on the floor (often banging her head quite hard)
⁃ Screams intensely if I go near her or touch her. Claws at my face, tries to scratch my eyes
⁃ She has wild, unfocused eyes - similar to when she had night terrors when she was younger.
⁃ Thrashes about, kicks, screams for approx 20-30 minutes. Any attempt to touch or speak to her just prolongs it
⁃ Once she has ‘come around’ she’s quite meek and often wants to cuddle

Does this sound normal? Or should I worry? She sleeps and eats well so I don’t think it’s down to being hungry or tired.

Very true. All of mine have had proper meltdowns, DS1 because his brain wasn't being stimulated enough, the others when they were overtired.

The difference I see between a tantrum and a meltdown is that a child having a tantrum is still reachable: they can recognise you, they can understand what they are saying, they can weigh what they might get (escaping punishment/bribe/approval of parent) against their desire to keep tantrumming.

A child having a meltdown- and this by no means only applies to children with ASD- is not contactable. They may not recognise you, they may not be able to hear you, they certainly can't take in what you're saying, they are quite incapable of reasoning and just as likely to hurt themselves as to hurt you. There is nothing you can promise them with that can make them stop, there is nothing you can threaten them with because nothing is going to frighten them more than the state they are already in.

I used to have tantrums as a child. My db had meltdowns. Massive difference. He once kicked through a wooden door with his bare feet without even noticing, must have hurt like hell afterwards. I would never have done that- because I knew what I was doing.

Yes, 3 of mine had tantrums and meltdowns, DD2 only ever had meltdowns, and something else, that almost seemed like she was enjoying it, when she was overtired. It scared the shit out of me. I learnt to put her pyjamas on before bedtime hour, so I didn't have to hold her down to put them on.

Hi op sorry haven't read the full thread (but will go back and read it) but want to say my dd was very similar at your dds age, I also put it down to normal tantrums and the usual excuses were she was 'tired' 'over stimulated' or 'sensitive'

Unfortunately the behaviour continued long past the toddler age and when she was about 7yo she was diagnosed with sensory processing difficulties. It was a huge light bulb moment for me and lots of things suddenly made sense, I wish, wish, wish I had realised that something more was going on from a much younger age.

I'm obviously not saying this is the case for your dd but it is worth being open to the idea that something else may be going on.