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Parenting

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Ex withholding passport help

53 replies

Inga35 · 15/11/2017 10:26

My ex is refusing to give me my daughters passport for our trip to Australia at Christmas. There is an order in place however I have to provide full details of the trip which I am refusing to do because I have made a mistake with the return date which breeches the Court Order and can’t afford a Solicitor help please

OP posts:
Justbookedasummmerholiday · 15/11/2017 10:29

Report that passport lost and apply for a new one.

AshleySilver · 15/11/2017 10:29

You can afford a trip to Australia but you can't afford a solicitor?

scurryfunge · 15/11/2017 10:30

Would it be cheaper to amend the flight dates with the airline?

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mustbemad17 · 15/11/2017 10:31

If you have an order in place saying you need to disclose full details then there isn't a way round it. You can't just apply for a replacement passport if there is a court order in place.

Can you not just fess up & tell him you cocked up? He's less likely to give you the passport because he probably thinks you're hiding something

AshleySilver · 15/11/2017 10:31

You could always just comply with the court order.

SoupDragon · 15/11/2017 10:33

Your ex is refusing to give you the passport
You are refusing to give them full details of the trip.

I'm not sure the ex is in the wrong.

Whambarsarentasfizzyastheywere · 15/11/2017 10:34

You shouldnt really be asking for advice on how to breech a court order tbh Hmm

He is doing nothing wrong withholding the passport until you comply with the court order.

Inga35 · 15/11/2017 10:36

Thanks for your responses

My sister lives in Australia and is kindly paying for our flights as we haven’t visited for 5 years.

My flights are non refundable and I can’t change them so that isn’t an option.

I didn’t think I could apply for a new passport but will look into this option thanks.

OP posts:
sooperdooper · 15/11/2017 10:36

Either fess up that the return date is a genuine mistake and talk to him or move it

I can understand him not handing over the passport without full travel details tbh - imagine if this was the other way round? Ex wants to take kids to the other side of the world but won't give me any travel details? People would be up in arms!

Surely if you report the passport missing & get a new one you're still breaching the court order on dates plus fraudulently obtaining a passport?

A trip to Australia is v expensive, is that a good use of money if you can't afford a solicitor?

PotteringAlong · 15/11/2017 10:37

He won't give you the passport because you won't provide full details as per the court order.

He's doing the right thing. You're in the wrong here.

sooperdooper · 15/11/2017 10:38

Cross posts - you'll have no option but to pay for a solicitor if you purposefully breach the court order!

How many days is it over? Will your Ex be expecting the kids back but you just won't show up??

Allthebestnamesareused · 15/11/2017 10:39

Just tell him that your sister made a mistake in the dates when booking the flights they are these dates not those dates. Here is my sister's address and other contact details.

I assume that he has residence order in his favour if you do not hold the passport and need to get it from him.

I am not sure why you will not tell him your sister's address.

MinorRSole · 15/11/2017 10:39

Don’t apply for a new passport, just be honest. I can see why your ex has hesitations - you are being deceitful. You can’t just ignore the fact that you will be in breach of a court order!

Allthebestnamesareused · 15/11/2017 10:39

If your ex consent to the new dates then that will override the court order anyway.

doodle01 · 15/11/2017 10:45

Unless you want to be stopped at the airport and miss your flight because he’s called police and they have to make an on the spot decision which will be to stop you - you need to sort it out

Also child abduction act details that you need the permission of the other parent assuming he has PR to take kid out of uk

Don’t mess with court orders if you need to vary the order make an Application and get fathers consent

If you both are in agreement this is easy

Also if you mess around and he reports matter you may get stopped on your return

PRents travelling alone with kids get scrutinised quite rightly

AshleySilver · 15/11/2017 10:45

If your ex consent to the new dates then that will override the court order anyway.

^This is not true. The only thing that can override a court order is another court order.

Inga35 · 15/11/2017 10:51

Unfortunately, I also made a mistake with the departure and my flight is the Sunday at 8am on his contact weekend - he has suggested that he also has the w/e before which is my time with my daughter. He is only losing 13 hours not an entire w/e as I am going to pick her up at 5am normally we meet half way as I moved 130 miles away to get away from him.

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 15/11/2017 10:57

So you’re ending up having her on both of his times - before the flight and returning late when he is due to have her ?

You’ve breached the order and you have to fess up and ask for the time - there isn’t an alternative

Offer something in exchange he wants ? Christmas? You doing all the driving for December ?

doodle01 · 15/11/2017 11:01

Sounds like a Total screw up

Maybe time to start working better together and to communicate more

How about he gets xmas next year the whole deal sounds fair

give him his contact when he wants it moving 130 miles away was a bad decision

let him know the issues if he objects buy an xmas tree you need to be better organised to respect his access and rights - sorry !!

Belleoftheball8 · 15/11/2017 11:02

Your being massively restrictive you’ve booked to go away on his contact time which has a court order in place. Why can’t he have the weekend before you go away your spending time with her on holiday.

MinorRSole · 15/11/2017 11:11

So he already knows you have made an error with departure date and has suggested a very reasonable alternative. You are the one making this difficult, it’s beyond me how you fail to see that

PollytheDolly · 15/11/2017 11:11

Gosh, time to be ultra flexible here OP. Is he a reasonable type?

CiderwithBuda · 15/11/2017 11:15

Agree with others that you need to be ultra flexible. Give him the weekend before. Be honest and transparent with dates/times/contact details.

Allthebestnamesareused · 15/11/2017 11:16

Let him have her the weekend before even if it is "your weekend" you are having her for a holiday of a lifetime.

You have to put aside your feelings towards him personally! You can surely see that you are being unreasonable can't you?

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 15/11/2017 11:20

I'm not sure your ex is in the wrong here.

You have a court Order that you want to breach, not once but twice then you are complaining that he would like to see your DD on 'your' weekend but that is only because you messed up.

not convinced both were mess ups either. Once maybe bilut twice?