Advice on talking to 3.5yr old strangers/not wandering off

[feejee]

Hi there,
I was just out shopping with the mother-in-law and husband aunt when my 3.5 year old wandered off (if i'm on my own my hand is clamped on his, but grandma/great aunt tend to push in). The gt aunt found him in a different aisle, and then i could hear her telling him not to go off becuase theres nasty men who do nasty things to children...My instinct was to tell the great aunt to immediately say you cant say that to kids, grandma stepped in and then started going on about being a good boy or santa will see.

Got me thinking though, what is the best way to talk about staying close to mummy or daddy, or grandma and not wandering off with a 3.5 year old. I certainly dont think telling him nasty men will get him is the route i want to take.

He is a very active child and it is incredibly hard for him to walk nicely alongside me (especially in shops where there are so many things to see). He wont wear reins anymore, although i do insist if we are going somewhere very busy.

My 4 year old wss a nightmare for wandering of and talking to people. She is very sociable and just likes to talk.

Was a problem when i was heavily pregnant with DS and couldnt keep up with her.

We sat down and had a chat about how it frightens mummy when i cant see her and that if anything happened i.e she got lost or squished by a car (her words ) mummy would be very sad and so would she. So to be safe she must stay with and adult she knows.
We have also talked about not everyone being as nice as mummy and daddy etc. She seems better about staying where i can see her now but she does still like to talk to people.

She does get 2 warnings when were out and if i have to tell her a 3rd time she had to go on the 'baby reins ' . Fortunatly the 2 warnings are normally enough

I kept the reins in my pocket with the threat of if they didn’t stay close, the reins would be on.

We’ve said to our 3.5 yr old that if they can ever not see whoever she is out with she is to stay where she is and ask someone to find her Mummy/daddy/whoever. If that person says “come with me and I’ll help you” she says “no thank you I’m staying here”. And if she sees a mummy with a child she can approach them for help as she’s have to be really unlucky to pick a rotten one. She does it in role play now unprompted.