7yo helping themselves to excessive amounts of treat food

[TheHighPriestessOfTinsel]

Not sure what to do on this one. 7yo DC2 has been helping herself to the treat cupboard. I've asked her not to do this, and to check with me first, so I can have a think about how much treat food she's had, proximity to meal times etc. She's ignoring me, and is not quite canny enough to cover her tracks, so I'm finding wrappers everywhere.

For context, we are not especially puritan/clean eating types. We very often have a proper pudding, and especially at the weekend there are crisps and sweets, but in moderation. Also, DC2 is what's euphemistically known as A Good Eater, and at times gets a bit chubby. Anyone else dealt with this (particularly with a child who doesn't give a monkey's about adult approval)? TBH it's as much about the continued not giving a stuff about what I've told her as the constant sweet eating.

OP I have the same issue with my 14 year old DD. I feel the same, I don't want to not buy them just because she has no self control as it's not fair on my other DC!

What worked for us was, on shopping day, I write the 3 DD's names on a sheet of paper and the snacks which are theirs under each name and stick it inside the larder door. (I also put adult names underneath if there's stuff for us) Now my DD14 knows who's are who's and if she pigs out early in the week she has nothing left when the others do! It works really well and after some initial pigging out she's getting a lot better and some treats are actually almost lasting a week!

where am i? down the boozer, watching the horse racing, obviously.

whether it is possible to have a 7yo in line of sight at all times is not the question. Rather, the issue is whether it is age appropriate or at all desirable to constantly supervise. For me, it is not. I am very prepared to let them make mistakes as part of learning responsibility. This is one, and we will sort it out somehow.

I agree baffy, i think it is the sneakiness and not giving a fig that she's already been given very clear boundaries that bothers me most. I am not sure what the right approach is, but it won't go unchallenged.

Rather, the issue is whether it is age appropriate or at all desirable to constantly supervise. For me, it is not.

If you are not willing to take slightly more responsibility here then it’s going to continue.

The only way to stop it, other than hiding it, is to be at her every time she goes near the kitchen with a firm ‘no, get it of the kitchen’ after all what does a 7yo need to be in the kitchen alone for?

christ on a bike! I was HAVING A BIG HAEMMORHOIDY POO when she was in there this morning. even if I had not been (and I really do wish I had not been), I remain of the view that constant supervision at this age is far more detrimental to one's psychological and social development than a phase of sneaky behaviour in an otherwise well-adjusted kid.

Lol. Ok then.

Keep the treats upstairs somewhere only you know and only put a days worth in your treat cupboard for your dd. My dd has a sweet tooth - has a max of three little treats a day but when they are gone that day -that's it. kids are kids - not many turn down sweet things. I wouldn't ban them outright - that can possibly lead to issues with binge eating later in life. Everything in moderation. If someone told me I couldn't have a little chocolate throughout the day I would be climbing the walls!

Why do you need a cupboard full of treats? Why not just buy them in small quantities on a weekly basis?

Bulk buying treats doesn’t really make them a treat if they’re on tap!

I will add, it’s about giving in to temptation not being sneaky and underhand. Sugar is addictive! Not everyone will succumb but I think you’re being harsh.

I have a 8 year old who would sneak treats because he knows I’ll say no but he really wants them and just cant help it. Hell, even I struggle. So why tempt him? I don’t keep many treats in as a result.

I think perhaps people have misinterpreted the "treat cupboard" bit. It is not a small offshoot of Thorntons, but simply the cupboard where the treats are, alongside the regular food. A six pack of crisps, bar or two of chocolate, a moderate amount of party-bag booty, as often they're given a lot of sweets in party bags. A moderate amount for a family of five over a week. Yet an excessive amount for one 7yo over three days.

Hide them.job done.

Get a lock for the press and hhave specific times odaily the week for treats instead of giving them out every day. If that fails, stop buying too many treats. It's a great time to limit the treats because it gives them a break before the overload at Christmas. I'm not giving you a hard time or judging your parenting. My dc are pretty relentless when they want sweets but diabetes is a horrible disease so it would be better to steer towards healthier eating habits than having to have a complete overturn of their lifestyle and eating habits. Imagine if they weren't able to tolerate any sugar/sweets and were at threat of lapsing into a coma or losing a limb or their eyesight etc. None of these repercussions of not managing diabetes would be irreversible if they become diabetic and don't manage the disease. Try to set them up with good eating and lifestyle habits so they don't struggle to get it under control as they get older. The odd treat is fine but everything in moderation.

I agree with intercom.

Buy loads of nice fruit, cheese etc

Ditch the treat cupboard

Buy everyone a bar of chocolate on your way home on a Friday

We are a family of five and I never have crisps0or sweets. We do eat them, but I buy them on the day we eat them, usually once a week.

Second that a treat cupboard just leads to trouble and that treats should be bought and consumed on the spot, and RARELY. Cannot understand why it is that kids today need crisps/ sweets/ shit on an almost daily basis.

Second that a treat cupboard just leads to trouble and that treats should be bought and consumed on the spot, and RARELY. Cannot understand why it is that kids today need crisps/ sweets/ shit on an almost daily basis.

I'm afraid I disagree with the but nice cheese and fruit instead sentiment too.
Just buy what you need for meals and then fetch 'treats' as and when

buy

This is a tricky one. I don't want to only buy fruit for home and treats once a week. I feel that encourages bingeing.
I also don't think they need treats every day - but surely making them every day things as opposed to rare amazing treats normalises them and makes them less special and puts an end to the sneaky behaviour and encourages self control?
Or would that just lead to sugar addiction... sigh.

I don't want to only buy fruit for home and treats once a week. I feel that encourages bingeing

Why on earth would it? My dcs know I do it to try to keep everyone healthy. They are happy with that.

also don't think they need treats every day - but surely making them every day things as opposed to rare amazing treats normalises them and makes them less special and puts an end to the sneaky behaviour and encourages self control?
Or would that just lead to sugar addiction... sigh

Yes it leads to sugar addiction

That "normalising" arguement gets bandied about in regard to sweets, booze etc

It's bollocks

I totally agree that keeping a 7yo in your line of sight at all times would be ridiculous and counter-productive. She's pinching sweets not dealing in crack cocaine!

I don't agree though that the having sweets available at all times makes them less interesting than if they were special treats. Sugar addiction doesn't work like that, alas.

They are hardly treats if they are available every day.

Just stop buying rubbish? That way if she wants to snack she can have some apples/nuts/other food that won't make her fat and rot her teeth?