I understand what you're saying, Mears, but for DH and me, sleeping apart was our saviour!
With DS1, he outgrew the moses basket at about 8 weeks, so we put him in the cot in his room. There was a bed in there, so I slept in there and bfed him in the night. DS1 wouldn't co-sleep - always, always wanted to be in the cot (or, on one interestingly sleep-deprived occasion, he fell asleep on the changing mat next to the bed and I left him there to sleep while I slept in the bed right next to him ).
When he was about 10mo, I night-weaned him. DH then slept in his room with him for a while (can't remember how long) and I had our bed to myself Then DH came and slept back in our bed and DS2 was conceived when DS1 was a year old
When DS2 was born, DH slept in DS1's room when DS2 outgrew the moses basket and DS2 slept in bed with me till he was about 7mo, then we put DS1 in a bed and DS2 went in the cot in our room and DH came back into bed with me.
DS2 still occasionally ends up sleeping between us in bed, but maybe once a month. He often wakes at night and I feed him to sleep, but this Will Change when we move house in a fortnight or so [determined]
For me, it was anything to get the sleep in the early months. Sex was the last thing on my mind - I was out of my mind for the first good few months anyway!
We are secure in our relationship and know that we love each other, regardless of where we sleep. I am one of those people who could quite cheerfully have my own bedroom and never actually sleep with DH though, as I don't think there's any statement of commitment in being asleep next to someone (esp someone who snores [frown]). It's the being awake bit I like when I share a bed with DH anyway [frisky]