How to manage - 20m gap

[mmarmalade]

I'm sure it's been asked before but can anyone offer any top tips to cope with 2 little ones - DS2 is due at Christmas when DS1 will be 20 months old. DS1 hasn't got a clue what's going on but I keep getting the guilts that he'll get much less attention than he's used to. He'll be staying in nursery 2 days a week so that will be familiar for him. I know I'll cope because I have to, but hoping to enjoy at least some of my mat leave!

Stay busy!! Get out, ask for help when you need it. Just found out I'm pregnant, there will be a 20 month gap between dc 2 and 3, very worried!!

There are 14 months between my eldest two. The short age gap forces you to focus on things like routine, structure and being organised. I think that in itself makes it easier.

There is 11 and half months between my little ones. Routine, bath then together, feed them together, put them to bed together. In lots of ways I actually think a closer age gap can be easier than a bigger one.

I had 15 months between my first two dc.
It is likely your eldest will still be having a nap every day which is easier than coping with a non-napping 3 year old all day.
Changing two nappies doesn't take much longer than changing one.
No school run to rush about for, that is a godsend!
No homework, spellings, ironing school uniforms etc. to try and fit in.
I had a third when my eldest two were 4 and 5, and that was much harder!

Congrats. And totally feel you on the guilt thing.
I have a gap of 23 months and this is what makes it easier for me:

1- Boyfriend does morning shift with toddler so that I can feed and change the babies (twins) and then join them about 9/10am downstairs, by which point the babies are full of milk and back to sleep til midday, so toddler gets my attention.
2- Toddler naps 11-12, at which point I get dressed and tidy the house from morning fun.
3- Tank the babies up on formula when they wake around lunchtime. They're mainly breast fed but we'd never get out the house otherwise. It's much quicker and there's things to do
4- Make sure I always do toddler bath and bed time, and leave boyfriend to firefight the babies downstairs with expressed bottle / dummy.
It's a special time to catch up with toddler and make sure she still feels important.

5- Avoid coming home in the evening (5/5:30) until I know boyfriend is home to help
They all need you the second you're back through the door, and it's horrible otherwise.
We chill/share a cheap early dinner in coffee shops, play cafes, parks, go for a walk etc. until he's home. Keeps babies stimulated and toddler entertained.

Saying that, I did have a few weeks of difficult behaviour and everything was 'no, (want) daddy!' which was heartbreaking. But 2 months in and we have moved past it.
And she adores the babies, she shows them off proudly at playgroup.

Sorry, that was loads. I hope a little of it helps.