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Parenting

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Original poster

World's worst parent

17 replies

Prusik · 02/11/2017 08:49

I'm feeling like to world's worst parent right now. I've put DS up in his cot and just left him. All I can hear is him crying. He wants and needs me but I just can't do this any more.

Please tell me I'm not as awful as I feel I am

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putdownyourphone · 02/11/2017 08:54

Definitely not the worlds worst parent! If it's all too much and you know he's not hungry or in pain then you're not doing him any harm, and it's better for you to step away and take a breather than be overwhelmed and stressed around a baby - they even tell you to do that in ante natal classes.

He'll be fine, and you'll be fine.

HopeAndJoy16 · 02/11/2017 08:55

it's OK, I regularly get to this point. Take a few mins, have a quick cuppa/chocolate and put a smiley face on and give him a cuddle. It is draining and exhausting. Do you have much support at home? Can you get out and about today? How old is LO?

2014newme · 02/11/2017 08:56

Put the radio on so you can't hear him. Set timer fir a few mins. Have a cuppa.
When you get him out of cot, straight into buggy and out, library, shops, park, walk around the block anything.
Call hv ask them to pop by.
💐

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FacelikeaBagofHammers · 02/11/2017 08:57

How old is your DS? What happened that has you feeling like this?

I went through moments like this myself, I've even slammed doors in frustration! But you have to remember he needs you.

Take a moment or two, have some deep breaths, and then go back up to him and give him a cuddle.

Original poster

Prusik · 02/11/2017 09:02

I went in and gave him a cuddle. I think he's settling to sleep now.

Weve both got doctors later this morning - me for my.flu and whooping cough jabs and him to discuss the fact that he's got a croup type cough again for the fourth time in a couple of months.

He's particularly difficult at the moment. He's nearly ten months and is really clingy to both me and dh. The GP referred me to the community mental health team for support but apparently I have no "real trauma" so am on my own.

I know he needs me. I try to make sure all his needs are met and that I'm always there for him the second he needs me but I've not got much left in the tank right now

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2014newme · 02/11/2017 09:06

Could you have pnd? Could you discuss that with Dr today?
I'd still ask my hv to pop Round for a chat.
Could your child go to nursery a couple of sessions
Do you meet with other mums, it can be isolating

WickedLazy · 02/11/2017 09:06

Soom good advice I once read. You're not the worlds worst parent by any means!

Original poster

Prusik · 02/11/2017 09:22

My HV has left which I'm gutted about. Midwife is keeping a closer eye but the gp support is non existent. He referred me to the community mental health team but I'm not suicidal and don't want to harm my baby so that's ok as far as they're concerned. I'd rather not take meds while pregnant but that is basically the only thing the GP can offer me.

I've got friends I can call on. They're good but obviously also wrapped up in their own babies and families. My family are a couple of hours away

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2014newme · 02/11/2017 09:25

Could you stratford a friend to come over tomorrow and could you check whether your hv has been replaced?
Are there any needs that are safe to take in pg you could ask your GP?

confused123456 · 02/11/2017 09:30

Definitely not. I've always put my son down and left him for up to 10 minutes to allow him to settle himself to sleep. Yes he sometimes cries or has a little moan, but he's always settled himself to sleep, if he doesn't we know there is something else wrong.
I never felt bad for leaving him to settle himself as I believe it's the best way.

DebiNewberry · 02/11/2017 09:31

You can do it, and you are doing it. However, I would suggest that if the options are feeling that you can't do this any more or going to your gp and taking the meds, I would consider taking the meds. It does get easier but you sound at the end of your tether right now and if things aren't working as they are - try something else. Take care of yourself.

Original poster

Prusik · 02/11/2017 11:26

I might give a call and see if I can have some support from the health visitor. Thanks

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furryelephant · 02/11/2017 11:53

Just the fact that you feel bad for doing that makes you a long long way from the worst parent! I think we’ll all have had to do that at some point. I regularly cry with frustration and just have to leave her in her cot to just have a moment! Agree with just going for some fresh air. Or a

Cutesbabasmummy · 02/11/2017 11:58

I went in and gave him a cuddle. You are not the world's worst parent. If he's a bit poorly they can be clingy or he could just be going through a clingy stage. Keep going mama, you're doing well.

CappuccinoCake · 02/11/2017 12:01

Can you see if home start are in your area. it won't solve anything but the 2 hrs a week I had with my volunteer was a lifesaver.

Original poster

Prusik · 02/11/2017 14:39

I've spoken to Mum in tears twice today. We're popping down for a visit over the weekend so she's going to do some batch cooking for me to take home!

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user1489434024 · 02/11/2017 19:48

Homestart are a good place for support. And Action for Children if you need help x

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