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Parenting

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Original poster

How soon...

17 replies

Newtothismumthing1 · 01/11/2017 18:00

So how soon after having your little ones did:
A)- you have a night out
B)- your partner have a night out
C)- did you have a night out together

I've met many mothers in these past few months since I had my DD and I've found myself surprised by how quickly some people leave a newborn and equally how long people stay hibernates. Of course everyone's preference, child care options and finances are theirs but I'd love to see what the general time scales were.

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coragreta · 01/11/2017 18:05

DH went to the cinema while I was still in hospital.
We went out together when lo was 3 weeks. Was my birthday and we went for a meal. Very nervous but my mum was a great babysitter.

MrsBriteSide · 01/11/2017 18:40

A and B were actually C - out first nights out was together. It was when baby was 10 weeks old and with hindsight that was too soon. I'd bought us gig tickets before baby was born thinking by 10 weeks old it would be fine. The main problem was I was exclusively breastfeeding and I'd only managed to pump off a paltry 1oz for MIL to give if DD woke up. By 10 weeks DD was going to sleep in her crib at about 8pm and waking at about 10pm for a feed. Of course she woke up as soon as we left the house and MIL couldn't settle her. MIL then proceeded to add 2oz cooled boiled water to the 1oz breastmilk to pacify DD. We got home at 11pm and DD was up with MIL on the sofa looking absolutely shattered. I inwardly freaked out about the boiled water and swore I was never going out and leaving baby again. I didn't leave her again until probably 3.5 months when Dad had given her formula on the rare occasion I wasn't with her and she needed feeding. As a breastfed baby who would be inconsolable if she was hungry, it wasn't possible for me to be away from her from more than an hour until we decided formula in emergencies was fine. So it depends a lot on your feeding method as to when you can leave baby for a night out.

Santawontbelong · 01/11/2017 18:42

I went along the road for a meal when dd was 17 days old as it was a big birthday. Left early as leaky boobs has ruined my ensemble!!

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welshweasel · 01/11/2017 18:45

I had a night away in a hotel when he was 3 months old, think DH went out when he was 8 weeks or so and we got a babysitter and started going out together when he was 4 months.

Lules · 01/11/2017 18:47

6 weeks for me. 3/4 weeks for DH. 5 months maybe together. We very rarely go out together tbh but we do meet for lunch when we can.

IHaveACuntingPlan · 01/11/2017 18:51

We both had a night out together when our eldest was about 6 weeks old.
Youngest was same age but that was because we'd moved house rather than a night out.

teaandbiscuitsforme · 01/11/2017 19:15

Night outs just haven’t been a thing for me since DD was born (2.5) and we’ve also now got 10mo DS.

DH has been to a couple of work things, stag do, wedding.

We’ve not been for a night out together but before DS, we used to go for lunch sometimes. We don’t have any childcare now to do that.

2014newme · 01/11/2017 19:16

My babies and I were in hospital for a month when born but we wereencouraged to go out for dinner with partners for 2 hours each night. So 2 weeks old! But in the care of midwives fir 2 hours max

user1493413286 · 01/11/2017 20:47

I had my first night out (home by 12) at 5 months but he had his first night out at 3 weeks.
We’re yet to have more than one drink out together and Baby is now 6 months but hoping to do it this month.

Ecureuil · 01/11/2017 20:51

We went out to the local down the road for about 45 mins when DD1 was 4-5 weeks (she was with my mum). We were too exhausted to stay any longer. Apart from that, she was probably about 6 months when we had a night out together.
I went on a hen night when she was 4 months old. Can’t remember when DH first went out, he worked away a fair bit anyway so probably went for drinks with colleagues when she was 3 weeks old ish.

JKCR2017 · 01/11/2017 21:02

After DS (6) I went first went out when he was about five week old. I was a single Mummy and mum insisted I went out to meet new people. I also loved with my mum at the time so it was easier to leave him.

I now have DD with my partner. I first went out with my partner when she was about a year old for my dads 50th and this is the only time we've left her for a few hours. We do need an evening to ourselves (she's 2 and a half) and we've had one evening 🙈

mummarosie1 · 03/11/2017 15:54

My DP and I are going for an evening out on Tuesday when DD will be 3.5 weeks old and with my mum. My mum has also offered to keep her over night so we can stay elsewhere and get a good nights sleep after... unsure if I am comfortable leaving her for the night though yet!

BabyDreams2018 · 03/11/2017 16:04

I know of three women who left young babies very soon after being born. One left her 10 day old baby with her parents while she and her husband went on a weekend away. Another left her three week old baby with her husband while she had a break away with her mother. The third couple left their 5 week old twins with friends while they went to a local wedding and stayed at the hotel overnight.
I guess each to their own. I couldn't do it with my dc but maybe I'm the foolish one for being so available to my newborns. I ebf and I think it also depends on how the birth goes. I had a very traumatic birth with dc1 and a very slow and painful recovery after the birth of dc2.

BackBoiler · 03/11/2017 17:17

About 6 weeks or so.

BackBoiler · 03/11/2017 17:18

We haven't been out together for 2 years however. We normally aim for once a year but it hasn't happened since we moved house (big project!) and we have three kids so its more of a big task for the grandparents for overnight visits

HettyB · 16/11/2017 07:56

I think I’m probably a bit weird reading the other responses...

A. I haven’t had a proper night out (as in, late) since pre-DD (she’s 2), but started having the occasional dinner with antenatal group friends from about 12 months I’d guess
B. DH isn’t really a ‘big night out’ person. I can’t remember when he first went out for drinks/dinner after she was born but I’d guess about 4 weeks?
C. 19 months, and we were home by 9.30pm as both so tired!

We’ve recently had DC2, so I don’t think I’ll be going out again for a while!

I should add that both mine have been exclusively breastfed, and I haven’t done the whole expressing and doing bottles thing, so it’s been logistally much harder to go out!

mindutopia · 16/11/2017 11:52

I had a day out (coming back early-late evening ish maybe) when my dd was 4 months. I don't often have evenings out though (except with my dh) as my friends live pretty far from where we live, which is really rural. But I went up to London for a full day coming back maybe 7/8 ish at 4 months.

My dh went overnight for close friends' wedding (which was child-free, why I didn't go) when our dd was 3 months.

Our first night out together we went to another friend's wedding when our dd was 7 months (my mum came with us and stayed in the hotel with her while we were there). After that, we tried to have an evening out for dinner maybe 3 times a year until she was 2 and then we did it about once every 2 months when we could get a babysitter. We don't have family nearby, so it's rare we both get to go out.

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