Loneliness ..

[Cinderella1997]

I’m a young mum, 20 with an 18month old little boy. My partner is a full time business owner, of which we set up 6 months ago, and I’ve never been so lonely, I don’t speak to many family members and the ones I do speak to are too busy in their own lives for me. Most of my ‘friends’ are too busy out drinking, and let’s face it don’t really want to spend time with me any my child, I’ve tried asking hv about toddler groups and she doesn’t give me much info and tells me “parenthood tends to be lonely”. I don’t know what I’m hoping to get out of this but I’m so fed up of being lonely and friendless. Please tell me I’m not the only one

Try googling groups around where you live, my daughter is now 7 and I have a big family but when I had my daughter I felt so low and lonely and pushed everyone away

I remember feeling the same way when ds1 was a baby, I went to a toddlers group once per week and also done a training course who had free childcare it was run by the council. Can you check your local library for more info? It gets better when they go to nursery you’ll meet other mums

I’ve googled groups, but all of them are so far away, I just feel as if there’s no hope for me, and as much as my little one is thriving, I feel as if having other children around him will help his speech come along, I feel like such a useless mother

Have you tried your local NCT? They can often put you in touch with local mums who live near you and arrange coffee meet ups. Also try your local park, its not easy but ask other mums you see if they know of any groups (many don't appear on google).

And you are not the only one that has felt this way and you won't be the last. None of this makes you a bad mum.

Thank you for the replies. I’ve not tried the NCT but I shall get in touch with them. I take my little one to the park near enough daily so I shall ask other mums. Thank you again, find this all so hard lol x

That sucks, my HV practically forced me out the door to toddler groups! Please don’t worry about not being around other kids. I didn’t have any mum friends either and my little one is the most sociable, friendly toddler you’ll ever meet. It gets easier around this age as they start to socialise with other kids in the park and at soft play etc. So you don’t have to necessarily have to do anything!

Look into a preschool when your DS turns two, they’re not too expensive and will benefit him (and you!).

I can relate somewhat. My OH works long hour. I don't really have many close friends since I moved to a new area. My family are always too busy to visit apparently and sometimes I feel very alone.

I find that no one is interested in the mother with the 'different child' - my DS has autism. Other parents around here seem pretty social (and probably a little bit cliquely tbh). But I just get a quick hello! 😢

I really dislike toddler groups (bad experience in the past) but they can be a great way to meet other parents.

As well as run toddler groups. Maybe try soft play areas. I find these much more better than the groups and more relaxed!

When your child is at pre school you will probably find you will meet loads of other mummies in your area!

Have you tried the Mush app? It’s basically mummy dating. That or your mummy social website.

Thank you all so much for replying to my post and making me feel like I’m not an awful mum, I use to find it so easy to make friends up until I became a mum lol. I’ll try soft plays and the app that was recommended

Your health visitor is rubbish. Look up your local children's centres and library's. There are toddler groups in the community room at a lot of tescos. I am doing a parenting course, free, at the children's centre and they provide a free creche it's only 2 hours a week but it's nice to chat to others in the same situation. Our local pool has anot under 5s hour each week and the leisure centre have an hour each morning of "gym pit fun " or similar. Well worth contacting all of these in your area to see what's on.

Oh also, if you have a Brewers Fayre or similar (pub attached to premier inn) ours has a baby group in the play area, or you can go any time £3 per child.