Evenings

[Bmarie]

Just wondering what people's dh's do in then evenings after getting home from work to help with baby/around the house?

DH gets in and takes DS so I can finish off dinner; after dinner we all walk the dog, then he brushes DS's teeth and changes his nappy and I take over to put him to bed while DH does the dishes. Then we both have free time. I think it's a fairly even split?

When my dd was a baby, my partner would get in from work and either make dinner or take dd depending on what I needed him to do. He would then hold her, so I could eat and then do her bath and get her ready for bed. I breastfed, so I would be doing all feeds in the night, but he always checked if I needed anything.

Do you feel your DH isn't pulling his weight OP?

@mumofone234 I think so, I think more to just to get an idea of what others do etc...

DP has his own company so sometimes works quite late, he comes home and makes dinner, baby has 1 bottle in the evening about 8:30 which I usually end up giving her, i then clear up from dinner etc tidy round a bit & sort washing and then get a shower and DP watches baby, she can be quite fussy in the evening so we both tend to sit together watching tele till about 10:30/11 when she usually falls asleep x

That must be quite a long day for you - I do sympathise. What time does he normally get home? It sounds like he's doing a reasonable amount, but could maybe help out more with the clearing up etc. Are you still off during the day?

DH usually cooks our evening meal or he will put DS to bed occasionally so that I can rest
DS currently 5 months old

Depends on the age of the baby really. I found I wanted to do everything with DD until she was a few months old.

By 5 months we were taking it in turns to do a proper bedtime routine. Bath book bed. We still do alternate nights with a joint effort on sundays and its a good thing to do as it means you can do regular things for yourself in the evening like swimming or book club or what I used to do (sit in the supermarket carpark with a coffee and bar of chocolate).

Whoever doesn't cook washes up. Whoever isn't doing baby bedtime clears up the clutter downstairs. The only thing extra I did when on maternity leave was dealing with nightimes as I wasnt working the next day. DH did at least one weekend night to give me a break. Now we both do night time wakings each having a night off at the weekend.

My dh also runs his own company,so our situation is similar.

Sine DD was born he always makes sure he leaves work at 5 to get time with DD before bed.

When he comes home he takes DD and plays with her whilst I tidy, wash bottles etc. We do bath together, I make DD bottle and dh gives it to her whilst I cook dinner. Once asleep he will catch up on a few emails and relax with me.

I am pregnant and DD 7.5 months still wakes for a feed so we take it in turns. He is an amazing dad :)

Um, nothing as he doesn't get home until well after bedtime...

How olds the baby?

I think earlier bed might be beneficial to you all

@mumofone234 usually around 6:30/7:00... I tend to do the cleaning washing etc which I don't mind at all as I'm at home etc just little things irritate me which I know I need to snap out of and everything becomes a big deal when your at home with a baby... I think all in all he pulls his weight at weekend he will take the baby downstairs and have cuddles- I'm breastfeeding so I do all of the night feeds etc

@GreenTulips she's 8 weeks... I agree, she just won't settle till that time I don't know how to get her to settle any earlier... it does kind of work for us as DP gets home late so we have a chat and watch a movie together whilst dd settles so it is kind of the only time we get together during the week... we could do with earlier nights though!

Well you are still sleep deprived and no doubt grouchy!!

He is at least taking the baby and cooking meals and giving you chance for a shower etc -

Things change and she will go robbed earlier eventually and you'll get your evenings back and some sleep!!

Be flexible at this age and don't fret if things aren't done.

All fed no one dead is the sting

Saying

You're absolutely entitled to feel a bit fed up - I remember feeling exactly the same, and irrationally irritated that DH was snoring away while I was up all night breastfeeding. As baby gets a bit older and you're able to establish a bedtime you'll feel sooo much happier with the evenings - that was a real game-changer for us as I was able to reclaim some free time.

DH normally gets home after DS is asleep so I do everything on my own about 95% of the time.

Forgot to add... we alternate getting up with him in the mornings which is great!

We have a non-typical family situation, I am a stay-at-home Dad and my wife works.

She generally takes over to do the start of the bedtime routine; bath, into pyjamas, brush teeth and one story before I take over for another story or two, then final chat before lights out.

I cannot stress how important routine has been for us and our little boy, it is an absolute life-saver.

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