Would you let someone take your child on holiday, if they wouldn't tell you where they were taking them?

[Aimsmum]

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Of COURSE you are not being unreasonable!!! Just to take a child away and, what, hope for the best with travel and accomodation?! He's an idiot.

Totally ridiculous. Chances of finding a vacancy for the Easter hols are next to none. I would be livid. How utterly irresponsible.

Er no. I would not let her go.

er, no

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Can you take her and pick her up? The words "over my dead body" spring to mind if I was presented XP's proposition!

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Definately wouldn't let her go! It seems me that men think that because they only see their children every now and then and probably don't think about them that much in between we should be OK to just do the same. When a relationship breaks down they just lose all sense of responsibility! If he gave you proper details and booking and travel arrangements it might be more of a difficult decision but IMHO he's completely out of order to ask. Hope your dd doesn't take it too badly. Did he tell her this was going to happen before checking with you?

I think if she is desperate to go, then maybe you will just have to let her go. Not being unreasonable to want to have more info, but at the same time if it's something she'd enjoy....
WRT packing, what would you pack if you were going camping near Dundee. Pack what you think she'll need?

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Aimsmum no I definitely wouldn't be allowing my dd to go off with anyone, even her father, in these circumstances. Of course you have to know where she will be staying. No question. How completely ridiculous for anyone to think otherwise.

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No, you are being perfectly reasonable. Going with nothing booked sounds like a disappointment waiting to happen.

Hell no!!!!!
Not just the turn-up-and-hope attitude, it's also not being able to get in contact with her. I'd be getting that sorted right away via lawyers/court. It's unreasonable to expect a 6 yr old to not speak to her mum just cause she's with her dad.

no, you are being perfectly reasonable.

i get on well with xp but he is still providing me with exact travel and accomodation arrangements, and mobile numbers of his family, when he takes ds away in june.

Er, no.

no, no, no, no, no.

NO

Can you charge him £25 for the bother of you having to research his effing holiday plans for him?

You cannot let her go under these circs. Imagine if something happened and you didn't know where she was. Why not let him get himself there and then you'll get her there, i.e. by car or even by coach yourself? (Not ideal obviously but .. )

A friend of mine, when she was a bit older, maybe 9, went to stay with her dad in London (mum lived in Paris). The first night they went to the pub (as one does ) and then slept the night in his van as he wasn't able to drive home. Next day he went off to work (builder), leaving her 50 quid to 'amuse' herself with during the day. Like a 9-year-old would know how to spend 50 quid (well, this was in the seventies, prob now they'd be day-trading and buying iTunes!). That night, same story, somehow 'couldn't' get to his lodgings - obviously he didn't have any, despite swearing blind to the mum he did. They slept in the van.

Next day she phoned and said it's awful, and the mum had to arrange for her to get to Heathrow and fly back to Paris. Dundee isn't Paris (alas) but why take that risk.

nope

I would want contact info for the hotel/whatever where they were staying at the very least

but do you want a disappointed dd?

difficult one

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mmmmm - my ex has taken the children away on spur of the moment trips before, and I havent been able to get in touch with them.
This is OK with me, because he is the chidlrens father, so he has the same rights as me, and I certainly dont feel obliged to let him know my every move.

Go with your instincts, he sounds such a disorganized nightmare. I presume you used to sort everything in the past?
You need detailed information or you will be imagining the worst.
Poor you, poor DD but she'll survive and understand when she's older. (Voice of Experience )

I think you are being perfectly reasonable. Your ex is going to be in for a shock when the bill arrives from the lawyer. How much is letter nowadays, when I divorced 6 years ago it was £30. My ex's legal bill was £14,000.

good grief.

no i b**y wouldn't and i think he is being unreasonable of him to expect that you would. if the same thing happened here, i would certainly expect dp to provide the name of the camp where they would be staying, who they would be going with, how long for, etc etc. she might well be disappointed but you will no doubt explain to her why this is not necessarily a good reason for her to go when you don't know where she will be going.