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Original poster

What "New parent" books would you recommend I read?

76 replies

VerityCroft · 18/07/2004 00:51

I am 38 weeks pregnant and looking forward to welcoming Gabriel into the world very shrotly. Although I have read up lots on pregnancy and birth I am at a loss as to which book would be the "definitive" bible for new parents. I have heard of the Conteneted little baby book but I'm not keen on such a strict routine. Another I have heard about is the baby whisperer but I wondered what "real" parents would recommend!!!

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Carameli · 14/07/2004 17:24

Hi,

My vote would go for 'What to expect...' as I found it had loads of info for each month. But I agree with others about not getting to worried about the expectation lists.

I also had the Baby Whisperer which I felt made a lot of sense, especially in the early days when I was unsure about how to handle the day to day stuff. Just keeping EASY(eat, activity, sleep, you time ) in my head gave me a basis to work on. Its also an interesting read and has lots of suggestions about different things.

I like the suggestion about a subscription to a news magazine as I never seemed to get to see the news a lot of the time ,but then again I never got to read Marie CLaire either so not sure what the answer is there.

BooMama · 14/07/2004 18:11

Kate Figes 'Life After Birth' as good as saved my life after a traumatic caesarean. If at all depressed or traumatised by childbirth go for it (not wanting to worry you or anything...!)
As for babycare - PENELOPE LEACH!!!! I was quite in love with her whilst my son was tiny - and I still refer to it now for his age 4 issues!
The Vicki Iovine books are very entertaining - always made me laugh anyway!
Was not keen on Gina Ford (scary) or Miriam Stoppard (pretty much help-free). Sorry!

hewlettsdaughter · 14/07/2004 18:26

I liked 'Life After Birth' too - I don't think you HAVE to be depressed or traumatised by birth to read it - but I have heard some say it is quite negative. I prefer to think realistic

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BooMama · 14/07/2004 18:46

You're right Hewlettsdaughter - it's a good read for any new parent. I just really focused on the birth sections. I found being a first time parent a real shock and it really helped me adjust. I wish I had read it before I gave birth to give me some insight of what to expect!

NomDePlume · 14/07/2004 19:23

I really liked a book called 'WIPE', I can't for the life of me remember who wrote it ans it's in DD's room (she's sleeping) so I can't check it out, grrrrr. It's a lighthearted book with really funny snippets from real parents of real kids. Not really a parenting 'bible' but fantastically funny for those "OMG, I'm a parent. What was I thinking ?!" moments. It had me snorting with laughter

NomDePlume · 14/07/2004 19:26

Wipe - Survival tactics for parents with attitude ! By Penny Wilson.

Good old Google !

hatter · 15/07/2004 21:08

agree with the Penelope Leach fans - she's very warm and human and helps you feel normal. I wasn't a Gina fanatic but one thing I would say in her favour is that at least it gives you a sort of bench-mark. So many books just say that any amount of day-time sleep is normal, that any amount of feeding, with virtually any frequency, is normal...that everything is normal...which is all very well, comforting at times, and probably quite true, but sometimes a quick glance at Gina's (ludicrous) routines can help you either think, ok I'm not way off the mark, or, shit, maybe her four-hour afternoon kip has got something to do with waking at 5 am. And some of her principles - like making a feed as big as possible so they'll go for longer make quite a bit of sense - for PFBs anyway. Everything goes out of the window for NSCs

Chuffed · 16/07/2004 10:25

I read everything I could get my hands on out of the library. That way I could pool all the info into my own way of doing things for different situations. ie. if one authors way doesn't work then I'd think OK the next one I liked best was this one in this situation.

moominmama86 · 16/07/2004 10:39

Another vote here for Baby Whisperer - kept me sane and reasonably confident whereas GF had just made me feel pretty useless. Although, having said that, I did find one or two good tips in GF - I just can't stand being told when to eat my breakfast

IMO, avoid Miriam Stoppard like the plague - some of her advice is just plain wrong.
What to Expect is comprehensive but I found it a bit preachy. Good to dip into though. And Life After Birth was a godsend - made me realise that everything I was feeling was entirely normal, and that can't be underestimated post-birth!

ringmum · 16/07/2004 11:06

I'd have to say don't read any books unless they are on loan from the library just stick to Mumsnet, intuition and your baby will tell you the rest. I wasted masses on books

nmd · 16/07/2004 12:32

Libby Purves!!

unicorn · 16/07/2004 12:40

don't you all think that there are just too many books now?
I mean years ago there was just one kind of manual.. Dr Spock etc... these days we are simply awash with so many varying opinions.
I think (in hindsight- as I was THAT first time mother who bought EVERYTHING)that I would steer clear of all the parenting ones and try and just get medically related or reference type books.
I mean who says some unknown author is better qualified than ourselves on how to bring up our own child?

SoftFroggie · 16/07/2004 20:20

Zagazoo, by Quentin Blake

takes you from birth to adulthood

every parent I've given / shown it too thinks it's spot on.

Slinky · 16/07/2004 20:27

My thoughts exactly Unicorn - and the reason why I have always avoided these types of books.

I'm the expert in my children - not these so-called professionals and for every book that says "do this, that and the other" you'll find half a dozen more saying "no, do this, that and the other"

Go with the flow is what I say

Flumpette · 16/07/2004 20:56

If you want a robot baby and to be stuck in doors most days, get Gina Ford's Contented Baby book - sorry for those who like it, but I'd have been climbing the walls - the book was borrowed and some of her ideas are really useful and I'm sure it works for some but to leave my baby 4 hours before he feeds would have sent him and me mad as the veins would have been popping out of his head - I just don't agree with babies being left to get absolutely histerical because they are so hungry. Baby Whisperer an excellent book although it's only now at 4 and a half months that I can truly answer her survey and find out what type of baby my son is - her techniques for bedtime do work though - as seen on the discovery channel - she really is good. At the end of the day, I think it's good to have a few books and take a little of what you agree with from each book. Elizabeth Pantley - No crying out (I think) also very good, with respect to sleep.

hercules · 16/07/2004 21:00

ooeer flumpette - duck!!!!!

I go with the just medical book and go with what works for you approach.

ginababe · 16/07/2004 22:48

Flumpette, are you sure it was The Contented Little Baby Book you were reading ? The copy I have says that babies should not be forced into a four hourly routine , on pages 40 and 41 it says that babies need to feed little and often in the early days, and that restricting to six feeds a day (fourly hourly) could lead to problems. On page 45 mothers are advised to feed their babies every three hours ( a space of two hours between feeds) in the early days to ensure that the breasts receive enough stimulation to help build up the milk supply. On page 108 it says that if a baby is genuinely hungry before three hours that it is common sense to feed him, but to get to the root of the problem why he is not taking enough at a feed to go the two hours between feeds.

hatter · 17/07/2004 20:45

Sortfroggie - you're dead right. I adore QB.

twiglett · 18/07/2004 00:54

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emkana · 18/07/2004 00:54

The Mumsnet book on babies of course

spots · 18/07/2004 00:55

I really like Penelope Leach 'Your Baby and Child'. I am a bit suspicious of the whole Gina Ford thing and really like PL's take on early parenting from the baby's point of view. If I was a baby I would like PL to be my mum... Not that she's indulgent exactly, just a sort of humanity that I really find heartening.

shrub · 18/07/2004 00:57

'the continuum concept' by jean liedloff has been my biggest inspiration - its sort of the opposite to the contented baby book. its a study about a tribe called the 'yequana' who have babies that don't cry. very powerful life changing book
its the one book i wish i had read before birth rather than after. there is a website called the leidloff continuum network which gives an insight into my waffle

hewlettsdaughter · 18/07/2004 00:58

Agree with spots

Original poster
VerityCroft · 18/07/2004 01:01

Thanks, I am very interested in alternative ideas so any more thoughts on books along those lines would be great. I have been inspired by Ina May throughout pregnancy if that gives an insight into my way of thinking - natural empowering down to earth thinking.....

OP posts:
Slinky · 18/07/2004 01:01

None!

I didn't read any parenting books when my kids were little (and I didn't have internet access either!). Just followed my gut instincts and my baby and we plodded on by.

Now we have Mumsnet for any queries/worries - don't need books IMO

(Having said that, I just reading my first ever parenting-type book - Paranoid Parenting - very interesting )