What "New parent" books would you recommend I read?

[VerityCroft]

I am 38 weeks pregnant and looking forward to welcoming Gabriel into the world very shrotly. Although I have read up lots on pregnancy and birth I am at a loss as to which book would be the "definitive" bible for new parents. I have heard of the Conteneted little baby book but I'm not keen on such a strict routine. Another I have heard about is the baby whisperer but I wondered what "real" parents would recommend!!!

continuum concept info

OOOH, hi verity!!! Everyone, meet my sister!!!
Anyway, Vez, I'd suggest Libby Purves 'How not to be a perfect mother' which is not so much a how to book as a 'attitude' book and brilliant.
Hope you find lots of help and like minded people on here - I've found it great.

I think whatever you read you should allow yourself to agree with some of it and scoff at some of it.

Second twiglett on "What to expect the first year" - it's very thorough, balanced and non-prescriptive.

Christopher Green's "Babies" has its fans.

And for not telling you what to do, but making you laugh instead (a precious thing) - Libby Purves's "How Not to be a Perfect Mother" can't be beat.

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If you are not into routine and are happy leading an organised lifestyle I would most certainly avoid The Contented Little Baby Book.
In fact avoid the whole Gina Ford debate altogether, otherwise you will end up using words like HATE, a very strong statement indeed.
Enjoy your baby doing what your instinct tells you, and putting your emotions into doing what is best for him, do not waste it on negative emotions like HATE, that would be very sad !!

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I didn't realize you had the "What to expect" books over there. Strong agreement with twiglett. I have thrown away all my other ones, and haven't had a question yet that wasn't in the book. Have just got "What to Expect the Toddler Years".

god no twiglett! not possible unless you are deep in the south american jungle, but i applied as much of it as i could given the way we live. it made me think differently about lots of things aswell and how we've forgotton what it is to be human. i found out about it 6 months after i had gone to mothercare and got the pram,cot,plastic toys.kept buying more gadgets as ds1 was getting more restless and unhappy, had no confidence as a new mum or instincts whatsoever. then i read the book, got my sling and we were away which resulted in a much happier ds1 and ds2. got a babytrekker cloth back sling so its easier on the back.

I loved "What to expect" as it seemed to answer any question I had. Contented Little Baby book is aways worth a read as it clearly works for some people. Not for me though as I couldn't live by her routines but DSs worked out OK without it.

The Best Friends Guide is good if only for a laugh. Made me feel much more normal and less neurotic abot the whole parenting process.

I found 'What to expect' very helpful and interesting too - just two things I didn't like (as far as I remember): First of all they STRONGLY recommend stopping b/feeding before 12 months - and while that's a perfectly acceptable thing to do I do feel that a book like that should just state the pros and cons, not come down so heavily on one side,
and the other thing, far worse: They say in the book that at the age of six months you should shut the door to your baby's bedroom and should leave him/her to "cry it out" - no going on, no controlled crying, just let them scream... that makes me shudder!

going IN

Even as a GF follower, I'm not sure I'd recommend it straight off to a new mum just because of its tone. A book to put on your list for "if everything goes pear-shaped and I've tried everything else" to buy list I love it, but I do think it needs to be tempered with other viewpoints to work effectively. There is some great advice in there in amongst the stern tone though - like 2 hours after a baby is a awake they're going to be tired (no-one ever EVER told me that!)

Babywhisperer is very good, but not enough examples of what a typical day might look like - and when I found I was naff at reading the signs I really struggled to put it into practise! I found her very helpful later on though.

Another vote for What to Expect the First Year - hated the pregnancy version, but loved that one.

"The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley is great - would recommend reading that sooner rather than later.

Also, "So that's what they're there for" (only can't remember the author's name and I've loaned it out!) - a bit ott in places but a very good idiots guide to breastfeeding which is also a bit of a giggle (so an easy read).

The Secret of Happy Children
Raising boys

Both by Stephen Biddulph

This books don't tell you about sleeping routines and weaning, they tell you how to be more asertive as a parent and how to avoid becoming the dark side of your mother , No seriously speaking, I have found them very good.

Regarding Gina Ford's books, the one specialised in weaning is great if you have allergies in the family, and regarding The book of the contented little baby... well, I'm one of many mothers who has seen a diference for the better since DS is in Gina Ford's routines, so maybe the phrase that children need some structure has an element of truth. I think is just about trial an error until you find the method that suits your family better.

NOT Miriam Stoppard, woman writes a load of rubbish. 'breastfed babies don't need to be winded' yeah, right.
MN book by far the best (that's how I found the site).

Another vote for 'what to expect'. Also I used The baby whisperer book. good luck Verity x

I loved What to Expect the First Year too. It actually describes what baby poo can look like, in all its wonderful and varied forms. This I found immensely comforting

Another vote here for the Baby Whisperer - even if you don't follow her to the letter she's good for helping you feel a bit more in control and I don't want to sound like a toady, but seriously, "mums on babies" is a fantastic read for any new parent

if being pregnant is anything to go by, then no one book will ever be perfect to help me be a mum to the little individual about to pop into my life.

I'll be depending solely on MN to help me (like it's done through pregnancy), and I've told DH if he beings a parenting book in our house it's going straight in the bin

I agree with GeorginaA re. Gina Ford ... don't get it to start off with ... Only get it and use it later on if you are anything like me when I had DS and can't work your baby out!
I read The Baby Whisperer when I was pg with DD and it was a much better read for me.
Or better still, like you say highlander ... don't bother with any until you need them ... you might be The definitive Mother Earth, you never know!!!!

Best Friends Guide to Motherhood by Vicky Iovine was my fav - I tried to read the baby whisperer in the middle of the night whilst b/feeding in the 1st week and it freaked me out by mentioning routines. But then I really wasn't up to absobing much info at that stage - found it much easier to log on to Mumsnet for help

This real parent recommends going and buying a couple of gory thrillers and enjoying your last two baby-free weeks!

Yes Baby whisperer is brilliant and would fully recomend it to new parents especially as it gives some really helpful advice for newborn care and then she also has one for toddlers to help you follow. All about sensible and manageble routines unlike someone else! he he!

I actually found the freebie Bounty book full of handy tips (they give it you in the hospital and you can probably read it on the website) - practical but concise. A breastfeeding booklet from the hospital was useful too. After the birth I wasn't capable of reading more than the back of a cornflakes packet, so make sure any other book you get has a good index for dipping in and out of.

I found that the most essential and helpful reading I did was from the takeaway menus that came through the door.

And Penelope Leach.

oh, yes, inspired by MI and also (again) Libby Purves, stock up with loads of light (both senses) paperbacks for those midnight/2 am/2.30 am/3.15 am b-feeds - Narnia books are good, also Agatha Christie, also Harry Potter - you know the sort

I know in Penelope Leach terms I ought to have used that time to Bond, but sometimes only the prospect of a good book made it possible to drag out of bed