Yes, I think you sound depressed, too. short-term, see the GP. Longer term: it is OK to not be suited to/fulfilled by motherhood alone. I think you need to think a bit about that, whether that is what is going on with you (it may not be; it may be other stuff).
If that is what is going on, and actually, you just aren't suited to it, accept this and find some work (paid, ideally) outside the home.
I strongly suspect that you have some kind of conflict between how you actually feel about parenting and how you think you should feel. Once you take the should part away, you diminish the agony and get a far clearer angle on everything.
A lot of parenting is, actually, bone-grinding, boring, repetitive housework. Yes, it has to be done. Yes, it is the practical, actual aspect of loving. However, no-one is ever going to sell it to me, for example, as the best thing that ever happened in my life. (And, yes, I know all about the zen aspect of housework. I just don't care.)
Similarly, there is a huge part of parenting which is the invisible labour of caring-for, loving, cherishing, thinking about, being fore-thoughtful, doing the thinking-with and emotional untangling for children who are learning emotional literacy, worrying (which is, in part, planning for those who cannot yet see the future): the emotional labour. That's fucking hard, too.
None of this is easy. Acknowledging that is also part of feeling better I suspect a lot of maternal despair/anger is caused by the fact that this truth is not acknowledged - by ourselves or others.
So, all of this is long-term solutions. In the meantime - has anything in particular triggered all this?