Do you find the word "naughty" offensive.....

[j3]

???

"Right so do the thing which is most effective in behaviour modification. Which is to say "that was very naughty" not "you are very naughty". A very small change in wording but it has a lot significance for the child".

If my children were naughty I had no problem whatsoever in them knowing they were naughty - erm...because they were!

"Would you call a child thick or stupid? No. or fat or ugly... What is the difference?"

Big difference. And my children are not thick, stupid, fat or ugly. And if they were they could change from being naughty, as that is a decision they make for themselves, but they'd always be thick, stupid or ugly!

I would book the therapy sessions now olive

I find hama beads offensive .. they do my head right in

I've been reading the My Naughty Little Sister stories to ds2 and it has struck me that they would probably be worded differently if written today - there's a lot of "Wasn't she a naughty child?" and "She was a very selfish and silly girl" and "You would never do anything so naughty, would you?" and of course "Bad Harry" - talk about labelling the poor child.

But you know...she ate Bad Harry's birthday trifle and bit Father Christmas...she was naughty

cazzybabs - why do you think it is damaging to a child to say anything remotely negative? It's like having kids in a race and then not being allowed to declare the winner for fear the others will feel slighted.

It's just not realistic - what happens when they go to school or get an appraisal at work - children willl be exposed to all sorts of language - to have them believe that the word 'naughty' is detrimental is bizarre.

dh calls me naughty all the time and i quite like it

lol custy and twig

You say "you are naughty" meaning "you have just done something naughty".

The child hears "you are naughty" and thinks "my mummy thinks I'm always naughty".

So just say "that was a naughty thing to do". No confusion.

THAT's common sense.

It all lines up with the 'we must never say anything negative to our children' approach to child-rearing

hence why teachers no longer give real reports but couch it all in 'positive praise'

hence why there seems to be an abundance of selfish little brats who think the world owes them a living .. boy are they in for a rude awakening

Speak roughly to your little boy
And beat him when he sneezes
For he can thoroughly enjoy
The pepper if he pleases

'xactly

PMSL

offensive?

No

actually vimfuego that's psychobabble .. it is not that simplistic and buying into it being that simplistic is detrimental to your ability to parent correctly

this doesn't mean I believe we should all go off and start calling our children names ... and if I'm honest in general I do tend to refer to the behaviour rather than the child ... but it is NOT THAT BIG A DEAL .. it really isn't

you are talking about children who only ever hear that they are naughty .. ie abused children .. not those brought up in loving, stable environments

when one limits one's understanding of what makes a good parent to a rule list one misses out on learning much about the nature of parenting

not offensive, no. Kind of cringey though.

Message deleted

giddy1-you are spot on

"The child hears "you are naughty" and thinks "my mummy thinks I'm always naughty". "

I wonder if that is always the case?

How about if you say "you were naughty when you did that".

Are young children as aware of the difference as we are?

well said giddy.

bleurgh .. schmaltz .. she schmaltzed us

that's naughty .. don't do it again

ick ick and thrice ick

I don't like the word at all, and don't use it (my ds is too young for the concept anyway) - if he does something I don't like, such as walking on his books, I tell him we don't do that and give him a reason (e.g. 'books are important and special'). But offensive? Not really. (Expect I'd feel differently if someone else referred to my child as naughty...)

Common sense: telling a small child clearly what they've done wrong. Not telling them that they're this that or the other.

If a child lives with me
It learns to hand over the chocolate
No questions asked.

common sense: teaching a child the parameters of acceptable behaviours from an early age

ROFL trolley

lol @ Trolley