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Parenting

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Original poster

Hands up those with a 2and a half plus still in nappies

101 replies

yawningmonster · 27/03/2007 04:59

Getting pressure from childminder, mil and friends to train ds who is no where near ready and is in fact kind of scared of the toilet and potty. I am not stressed and have told them there are plenty of children not trained at his age and he will do it when ready...so say they "where are these children, I've never come accross one training this late, you'll miss your chance and he won't train until he is at school and be ridiculed!!!" so back me up here who has a child over 2 and a half wtill in nappies please sign in here.....

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BigCremeEggs · 02/04/2007 13:48

my dd who is 2.5 yrs old..had only just started to use the potty and toilet since i bought 2 books about a princess learning to use the potty - "I want my potty" and the other is about a bear who is learning to use the potty too.....it seems to be working

Anna8888 · 02/04/2007 13:49

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hunkermunker · 02/04/2007 13:49

Oh, bugger, Anna

They must see a lot of wet pants in French nurseries then!

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BigCremeEggs · 02/04/2007 13:50

BUT she does days where she'll use the potty and suddenly some days she doesnt want to know

doggiesayswoof · 02/04/2007 13:50

Dd is 2.8 and out of nappies, basically dry after 4 weeks, but still totally flummoxed as to the poo issue. I know this is quite common, but I am really wishing I'd waited a few more months tbh. We can't go back to nappies now, and she's showing no sign of getting the hang of it. In fact the longer it goes on like this, the more normal it will be for her to poo in her pants... argh...

I was partly reacting to outside pressure when I started with dd and I am regretting it now - stick to your guns I say.

I don't think you 'miss your chance' with toilet training btw

hunkermunker · 02/04/2007 13:50

I think if children want to do it, they can learn relatively young. It's the forcing issue I have problems with.

Anna8888 · 02/04/2007 13:53

Yes, apparently they are used to accidents and parents are expected to leave a change of clothing at school just in case.

This being France, they have quite a few set times in the day when the whole class goes off for a wee - no private loos either, just rows of mini-loos where they all sit down together. Not my first choice, but nothing I can do about it except train her and hope she has a strong bladder and can avoid the awfulness of public weeing and pooing.

There is another issue in France which is pretty yucky - little girls here have a very high rate of bladder infection, apparently because school loos are so dirty that they don't want to use them.

doggiesayswoof · 02/04/2007 13:54

Agree hm. My niece was 2.4 and all the pressure came from her side - she asked to wear pants and was definitely ready - hardly any accidents.

hunkermunker · 02/04/2007 13:54

Oh, French toilets can be pretty minging - that's awful re bladder infections

Anna8888 · 02/04/2007 13:56

I was totally horrified when my stepson told me that at his secondary school they don't have any sit-down loos - just squatting, Turkish type. A modern school in Neuilly-sur-Seine...

belgo · 02/04/2007 13:57

I find the squatting toilets far more hygienic then the sit down ones.

nogoes · 02/04/2007 14:03

If you are good at aiming.

belgo · 02/04/2007 14:08

nogoes lol - it does take practise. But having used them in many different countries, believe me, they are the most hygienic option.

3easterbunniesandnomore · 02/04/2007 14:13

thanks Anna...the programme sounds interesting!
Yannic's poo issues are definately big time connected to long term constipation and him even as a weensy Baby NOT liking the feeling of having a poo.
I had been on at the HV's about this issue, but they pretty much didn't take it seriously...well, after Yannic took part in a TV Documentary that made his situation even more extreme I decided to go to the GP and make clear that I feel somehting isn't right and voila that time it worked.
He is now on movicol whihc helps him being less scared of doing a poo and letting go of it, and that definately helps, it also stops the constant overflow.
IT is a nightmare, it really is, and there are times when it really does get me down. But mostly we can live wiht it.
Do worry about him a bit though, as he will start school in September, truely hope that by then we get it all under control.
Green&Black, don't think anyone was implying that early training will always cause psychological damage, just when it isn't initiated by the child, it possibly could.

As to those getting badgered by their family that previous generations were dryer earlier...you got to consider just what sort of rubbish nappies were available and also how much work they meant....I know my mum never had a washing machine until after I was born, and most people used reusables etc...so, for them it certainly made more sense doing almost a version of Elimination communication...i.e. holding their Kids over the toilet and trying to catch poos and pees that way!

lostinfrance · 02/04/2007 14:34

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Anna8888 · 02/04/2007 14:35

3easterbunnies - it must be a real bore and I'm glad to hear that your GP has been helpful.

But it'll sort in the end, it always does.

All these things - walking, talking, weaning, toilet training - happen in their own good time for normal children. The worst thing society can do is establish norms and expect all children to develop in the same sequence to a set timetable.

My daughter (nearly 2.5) walked at 10 months, fed herself at 18 months, still sleeps in my bed most nights, breastfeeds, climbs to the top of the climbing frame marked "not for children under 6", speaks two languages, wears jeans and t-shirts and nappies and is absolutely gorgeous.

belgo · 02/04/2007 14:38

anna88 - society has established norms regarding potty training. The biggest one being is the widespread believe that children aren't ready until the age of two, and even that is considered very young by many people. When in fact, many children are ready before the age of two - in dd2's case, by six months, when she asked to use the potty herself.

Anna8888 · 02/04/2007 14:44

Society establishes norms for lots of things but that doesn't mean you have to go along with them.

I am pretty convinced by the arguments that any form of forced potty training is quite (psychologically) dangerous. However, if your child was able to ask for the potty aged 6 months, I am no-one to say that didn't happen. I am curious as to how she asked, however.

belgo · 02/04/2007 14:47

anna8888 - you've misunderstood me lol! I meant potty trained six months before the age of 2 , that is, 18 months!

even I admit that a potty trained six month old is stretching the realms of probabilty.

Sorry for not being clear!

Anna8888 · 02/04/2007 14:51

LOL LOL LOL

Have to say I thought I must be responding to a complete nutter...

I tend to just wait for my daughter to get on with it, whatever the issue. So she's done some things very early and some things late, according to "norms". Recently she has been asking to sleep in her own bed, which has been ready and waiting for ages and where she takes her day time nap, when she still has one.

mummydoit · 02/04/2007 15:14

DS1 wasn't dry till he was 3 1/5. At four, he still won't poo on the toilet. I have tried everything, absolutely everything. I really dislike the attitude that a child's failure to potty-train is down to laziness on the mother's part. Believe me, cleaning up pooey pants every single day is no picnic and I would put in any amount of effort if there were a solution. DS2 has just turned three and showing signs of being ready so we'll have a go over the Easter holiday. If it doesn't work, I will be happy to leave it a little longer. We will do it when HE is ready.

Heartmum2Jamie · 02/04/2007 15:53

I haven't read al the posts in this thread, but thought I would pipe up here! My youngest ds is 2.9 and not even the slightest bit interested in the potty, toilet or big boy pants. It is so strange to have a child who shows no interest, especially as my ds1 was day trained at 2.8 (although still uses pajama pants at night and he's 5.10)

We do have a few issues with ds2 though. He suffers from complex multiple food allergies and therefore hardly ever does a solid stool, so I am in no major hurry to potty train...not that family or HV's understand, they just presume I am being lazy. What on earth is lazy about having to change your 2 1/2 year old's bum almost as often as you did when they were newborn?

TrinityRhino · 02/04/2007 15:55

I can't see us doing a single little thing about getting dd2 out of nappies in the next 6 montyhs(when will turn 2 and a half) so I will have one. I am not bothered. dd1 was trained when she was 3, it was easioer than if I had tried at 2 1/2 I'm sure.

frumpygrumpy · 02/04/2007 15:59

haven't read the whole thread......

just to say my DTs are just over 2.5, nowhere near ready and I am sitting back and not sweating the small stuff. Its on the list of things to do and I don't give a monkey's arse if anyone tells me I should be encouraging potty training.

My DD however, was showing interest before age 2 and would always poo in a potty. She was over 2 when she was ready to tell me if she needed a wee but generally it was fairly straightforward with her.

I'm going with the flow. There will always be someone who thinks you are wrong, but it is not their child

slim22 · 03/04/2007 18:11

DS 3 and 1 week. Just started today!!!!!!!!!!
he wets his pants every 5 minutes, but understands that he should tell me he needs to go, just being stubborn.
He's been sitting on toilet for poo for a while, so understands the notion that he needs to "hold it" till we get to the bathroom.
Why did I chose today? Because nursery supportive and suggested we give it a try. and he's with them half of the week, and other kids there potty trained, so will help I suppose.
Don't listen to anyone. You have to be both ready. But at some point you have to take a leap!
good luck

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