I am a bad boy

[IamAporcupine]

My 5yo son says is starting to say this quite often.
We'd be playing something and I'd say 'be careful you will break that!' and then he starts: Are you annoyed? am I a bad boy? Yes, I am a horrid boy.
Then sometimes, it's like he misbehaves on purpose so I tell him off, and then he starts again....

I really do not understand where it comes from!
Has anyone had something similar?

Yes! I am really struggling with it and it breaks my heart a little bit every time

I've been wondering if it something to do with increased exposure to the idea of Goodies and Baddies. It's very polarised in kids books/films/tv; goodies do good things and baddies do bad things. So in a sense it's a logical conclusion that you must be bad if you've done or thought something bad. And I've been very frazzled and exhausted so perhaps been too negative in my tone and snappy.

I've tried to explain (in the midst of lots of angry tears) that everyone makes mistakes and does something they shouldn't sometimes, often when they feel cross or upset about something. They are still good, in fact most people are good. Real Baddies enjoy hurting others and are never kind or say sorry, unlike him.

Then lots of positive encouragement at other times about being good and kind etc, and making it easy to apologise (and praise for doing so). And being very forgiving myself when he trips up. General building up of self-image as a good person to counteract the 'bad' one.

I have no idea if the above is an accurate assessment and I certainly feel like I have no idea what I'm doing! But it seems to be working slowly.

DS(5) calls himself stupid/bad/says he wants to die/run away/doesn't want to be part of the family anymore. No one has ever called him stupid or bad before (he is told his behaviour is naughty if he acts up). I was so concerned that I spoke to his school, health visitor and finally took him to the doctor about it. All assured me that it is normal behaviour, especially among boys, at this age. He's normally quite a happy affectionate boy, he just has trouble expressing his feelings when he's upset which is why what he comes out with is so extreme. When he's older and is more capable of expressing himself it should become more "I'm angry/sad/hurt" etc

That's really reassuring decorating, maybe I've been overthinking it.

thank you both
nomoredecorating any idea why this might be more common in boys?

BrokenBattleDroid - And I've been very frazzled and exhausted so perhaps been too negative in my tone and snappy.

This ^^ is me, and that's why I feel so guilty

Relatively common, I think, OP. Quite possibly he isn't attaching the same weight to what he's saying as you do, hearing it.
It might help to try and 'catch' him being good, IYSWIM. So every time he's behaving well, even if it's something he does all the time eg put shoes on without a fuss, helps set the table, make sure you recognise and compliment that behaviour and be specific in what you're praising him for. Might help him realise how 'good' he is on a day-to-day level. There's a lot of info about it in The Incredible Years, by Webster Stratton.

thanks stinky81 that's exactly what I try to do, I openly and/or subtly praise him for good behaviour, but as you say, a tiny telling off feels massive to him. Eg I put the football away yesterday because he was not listening whan I told him to stop - he said today 'I was a horrid boy yesterday with the ball'

Not sure why it's more common in boys Iam, but the difference between my sons emotional maturity at this age and DD's when she is five is quite big, she was able to communicate a lot better so maybe it's something to do with that? I can also be quite snappy, especially when having to repeat myself again and again, that being told it was normal was a massive relief.

Sorry been on a train all day! Another two hours before I'm home again