Licked changing table!!

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My 8 month old just licked and mouthed a public changing table.

He's a wriggly nightmare and will not lie on his back for love or money EVER

I changed him on his front whilst he was screaming the house down and I realised he had his open mouth on the changing table as if forgot to put our mat down arghhh

Will he get really sick? It was the grimmest changing room oh god

When my daughter was a toddler, we lived in an old house and wood lice would regularly come up from the cellar and on to the living room carpet. She would gently pat the wood lice until they rolled up into a ball and then pop them into her mouth like they were sweets!
She is 20 now and apart from a couple of ear infections, hasn't been ill at all.
Perhaps woodlice have medicinal properties ...

Oh, and her younger brother mocks her mercilessly for the woodlice munching ..

Once when we were off on holiday my DS2 (age 3) kept licking the walls and floor of the airport. Urghh! They were filthy!

My DS at 8 months old once licked a slug.....

I once experimentally stuck my finger in a dog's bum.

DD once picked a snail up by its shell and licked the underneath ie, the slimy bit

Oh didn't see your post before I posted mine Bears ... My DD was 4! Just why DD?!!

He'll most likely be fine, worst that could happen is probably a bit of worms...

My youngest (4yo) proudly taunted me with a pack of crisps that she'd "found in the cupboard", i shut the kitchen gate and told her not to help herself to the cupboards and thought nothing more of it until DH came downstairs 5 minutes later. He'd been sorting their cupboard and found half a pack of stale crisps dated Oct 2016 which he'd proceeded to chuck in the bin which DD must have spotted :o

My eldest once licked the door handle in a public loo

And my 2nd once sat quietly in the sunshine eating mango... when I went to investigate he was sharing his mango with a friendly crowd of flies, many of which he had eaten along with the mango. There were bits of leg and wing stuck to the mango on his face.

DD is 11 weeks. So far she has licked:

• her own filthy, blood-and-amniotic-fluid-stained hair. Yep, her hair is and was that long.

• the end of the tube that was, seconds before, inside her own stomach, to feed her (I think this is when they realised she was on the mend ...).

• the inside of my ears, after I'd been in hospital without access to a proper shower for a week. Blee.

• coleslaw. The worst so far.

• my laptop

• the floor of a particularly grim pub that didn't have a changing table. There was a change mat on said floor. I'm just a shit mum who didn't notice her moving.

• her own encrusted vomit.

• her own feet, recently dipped in the freshest and runniest poo.

• some really, truly 'off' formula milk, which smelt like bad cheese. I don't know how it got off so soon and I felt terrible.

She's still alive. Though, I have just got out of bed to check, because after typing all of that I did have a moment of doubt.

pika, that is truly revolting!

The do say the reason we have so much asthma and excema these days is because of all the anti-bac wipes kids dont come into contact with germs like they used to. My youngest DS (aparently) ate money, never ever saw him put any in his mouth, I certainly never left any lying around, but come nappy change (literally LOL) there would be pristine coins in the poo.

Hahahaha oh god!! Your stories are making me feel SO much better! And apprehensive about all the gross things that are yet to make their way into his mouth!!

The insect ones make me shudder. What is the attraction with woodlice? Ergh and the mango and flies cocktail! Vom!!

My eldest pulled a chicken wing pout of the bin and ate it. Well crunched the bones then spat them back out.

Kids are gross

Kids are just minging. I used to be squeamish I had to get over it sharpish.

Wooden stairs in a London hospital at the height of the swine flu epidemic

I'd only put him down for a second.

I live in a country where the plumbing can't take loo paper so you have to put it in the bin.

Ds took to emptying the bin and examining the contents.

We now have a bolt on the outside of the bathroom door as well as the inside.

Mine found a cigarette butt at the park and put it in his mouth

I usually don't really care what he puts in his mouth as long as he can't choke on it and it's not poisonous but even I shrieked at that one.

Once I was sitting on the couch, googling 'healthy toddler meals'. Glanced down at dd at one point to find her polishing off a half-eaten bag of crisps she'd found in my bag.

I took 2 y/o DS into our bathroom to brush his teeth ready for bedtime. Put him down, picked up his toothbrush and put toothpaste on it, bent down to brush his teeth and realised his breath smelt Pine Fresh. He'd eaten the Toilet Duck fresh disc thingy from inside the toilet! Urgh urgh urgh!

For anyone who's wondering, they are not poisonous, but I endured a 10 minute lecture about the evils of liquitabs from the guy on 111. I figured that was my punishment for being an inattentive mother.

Other than that, I caught him sucking the fence at the sheep field at the local farm once...

I've decided next time he won't eat my lovingly made home cooked meal, I'm going to just throw it on the floor. He'll eat anything and everything he finds down there!

DS has always preferred sitting on the potty to have a poo since he started solid food and I have to confess that I frequently used it as a place to put him for a few minutes with some stacking cups to play with whilst not able to watch him as it was a long while before he could get off it by himself. That mostly worked well except for the occasion when he dropped the littlest cup between his legs pulled it out, full of what you might expect to find in a potty and started drinking daintily from it like he was at a tea party!

these are so funny! DD likes to pee on the floor and put her hands in it and play with it then put said hands in her mouth

This thread is brilliant!
I can't really compete but I do relate to 'There's some cake on the floor if you want it!'

@FireflyGirl my friend's little boy did the same a few day's ago! Unless you are my friend...

Dd aged seven was suspiciously quiet in the garden, found her feeding her 14 month old much despised little sister, worms, which said sister was swallowing down with relish,