Please, please help: at wit's end with 6 yo

[Everyoneafter3]

Omg.

I'm on the verge of losing it completely with dd2. Currently having a strop because she doesn't like what's for dinner. Only she does. She's ridiculously fussy with food and it's really getting to me.

Will only eat one type of sandwich filling in one of two bread-related products.

Only one type of fruit.

Only drinks water or apple juice which is fine, but in a situation where only orange juice is available would sooner dehydrate.

Won't eat any fish other than tuna.

Will only eat sweetcorn, peas or raw carrots.

Eats one type of breakfast cereal from one supermarket.

If anything looks different to normal she'll tantrum and fuss and refuse to even try.

Won't even attempt to be independent. In any way. Won't even attempt to cut up food, wipe herself. Has recently started to dress herseks but won't find the clothes herself. Ask her to do any of this type of thing and it'll trigger a tantrum. Refuses to try activities that dd1 might enjoy (cinema ffs, nature walks, bike rides - refuses to try to pedal a bike with stabilisers even - bowling) so weekends can be hellish. Staying in is fine obviously but we also like to go out!

We can't eat out due to the food issues. For example, she likes pizza but if the pizza isn't exactly what she's used to she won't touch it.

I'm certain there's something not right and have been saying this for years. Either way it's exhausting.

That does sound hard, for both of you as she seems very anxious. Have you spoken to her teacher about your concerns?

Her teacher has no issue particularly but has mentioned a lack of confidence. This is improving apparently.

Do you think it might be worth asking your school's SENCO to assess her?

I was going to say the same thing as the previous poster. Obviously food issues are quite normal (she eats a wider range of food than my brother ever did!) but the fact that she doesn't like many activities and has tantrums suggests that she might have SEN issues? I'm no expert, either in SEN, your daughter or children in general but it might be worth ruling out?

Food issues sound normal if maddening. The other stuff sounds like a confidence issue- at least that would be my first call on it.
Our dd HATED failure (still does) and wouldn't try anything because she feared it so much.
Sounds lame but maybe have a Failure Day.
Can't really suggest much more.
I know it's hard. Our DD (now 10) has grown in confidence and is a bit less of a fussy eater. She's also prepared to fail (ish). God, it's hard!

Make the dinner you want and that's what she has to eat. If she won't then too bad for her. She'll learn fast, trust me. She need to know who is in charge, and it is NOT her. Be kind and loving, but be firm or she will continue to run roughshod right over you.