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Original poster

Classic mother in law quotes...What's yours?!

615 replies

manuka · 11/03/2007 16:06

Mine has just said this beauty - [with reference to 8month old dd who had woken from nap and was grizzling, clearly not going to go back to sleep] "Why don't you just leave her until she's screaming her head off?" !!! I thought that was a real corker and had to share that with you all!!!
She had in fact pooed herself and got stuck in a crazy position in her cot so on reflection I'm glad I didn't follow mil's advice.

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shouldbedoingthehousework · 14/03/2007 17:30

My MIL often refers to my lo's as her children
Todays eg; MIL "I saw a naughty boy in the supermarket today, I'm so pleased mine aren't like that" - a) it's not as though she's ever even taken them to the supermarket b) they are quite often "like that", as are most lo's i know when restricted to sitting in a trolley/trailing round for an hour at a time and c)they are not hers! Maybe I'm being unreasonable...find it hard to take on a regular basis though

Also if i happen to moan about a difficult day with the lo's to her or how they've been naughty she'll always say "well, they're never like that for me dear"!

loujay · 14/03/2007 17:52

I am 5.5 months pregnant with number 2. DD will be approximately 6 weeks off going to school when this one arrives.
I have recently had a conversation with my MIL with her trying to persuade me that it would be pointless to BF the new baby and would of course make it alot easier to bottle feed.
I think she expects that my DH will be getting up to take over night feeds during the week, then going to work (which involves a 2 hour drive each way) whilst I sleep through!!

meowmix · 14/03/2007 18:01

god just today

"oooh meowmix you ARE lucky to have an understanding boss" - no preamble, no conversation leading to it, just outta left field, I think she sees me as a care in the community number.

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Highlander · 14/03/2007 19:29

phones me up to say that she'd been reading an interview with Kate Winslett in Hello! magazine. The lovely Kate was BFing and MIL said 'well, it must be OK then'.

However best one ever.......... (bear in mind MIL is 78 and lives in rural Ulster)

Me: 'as it's Good Friday do you think we should book somewhere for lunch?'

MIL: 'oh, it's a very Catholic area we're going to - do they celebrate Easter?'

Never seen DH looking so ashamed

shoemania · 14/03/2007 19:30

shouldbedoingthehousework - it would drive me potty if my MIL referred to my children as her own. What a nerve! I hope one day I'm as wonderful a mother-in-law as my own mom is to her daughter and son in laws instead of the evil ones found here!

Original poster
manuka · 14/03/2007 21:55

Runninglate- no but dh said why don't you empty the dishwasher to which she replied 'I don't know where anything goes' which is understandable as we have such an enormous kitchen it would be impossible to open cupboards and have a look. Not! I hope you find an excuse to not have to visit yours!!!!

Guitargirl- are you a musician by any chance?!

I think there should be an award given to the worst mil. It should be made of stainless steel (practical) and in the shape of a dragon headed harridan!! And there should be an award ceremony like the oscars featuring re-enactments etc

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lady007pink · 14/03/2007 22:01

MIL is the best in the world, but things she says drive me barmy!
My beloved mother died from cancer 2 years ago, MIL told me not to be crying because I should be greatful I had her for 34 years, and think of others who weren't so lucky to have their mothers as long!!! It was made harder by the fact I'd lost my father only 4 weeks previously, and they were my best friends but, no, I was supposed to be just technical about the whole thing!

Original poster
manuka · 14/03/2007 22:05

Bloody hell she wins the award for total lack of empathy!! That's really awful and what a horrible loss you experienced. x

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jampot · 14/03/2007 22:09

upon learning that we were not having a formal wedding complete with "top table" "just because you dont have a mum and dad doesnt mean our son doesnt" she was miffed she wasnt getting pride of place at our wedding. My mum had died 6 months previously

lady007pink · 14/03/2007 22:11

Thanks, Manuka. I wish I had time to read through this thread, it makes very interesting reading. Maybe tomorrow...

NineUnlikelyTales · 14/03/2007 22:14

Just remembered that my MIL once wondered over dinner whether the reason I am so short (5'2") is because my mother didn't feed me properly as a child, or ate badly during pregnancy.

Original poster
manuka · 14/03/2007 22:17

Jampot- yours also gets an award for utter selfishness. I'd have thrown the cake at her for that. What a thing to say considering what had happened to you. x

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Sakura · 14/03/2007 23:58

God, their all against breastfeeding arent they, jealous bints. Mine used to waltz into the flat in the morning and say in a loud voice "Has she had her breast milk today?" and proceed to watch me try to latch on (almost impossible when someone hostile is watching). WTF does that mean anyway? She wanted me to say "no" so she could run out and get some formula. pmsl at the person who mentioned STockolm syndrome. Im kind of like that. Id say I get on with her, and even like her. Also, I get a weird thrill of excitement if I know shes coming round. Its like the adrenalin before battle.

twinsetandpearls · 15/03/2007 00:12

Being a good wife is about waiting for dh to go to bed and then whilst he is settling you make sure you scrub the floors before going to bed and giving him the sex he needs to stop him straying

steinermum · 15/03/2007 00:22

and don't forget to take your pinny off first

LuckyinKentucky · 15/03/2007 01:09

DD was an emergency c-section. After 24 hours of labor, we weren't going anywhere and her heartbeat was going down. I was disappointed at not having been able to have her naturally. My MIL's other DIL also had a daughter via emergency c-section. Anyways, one day my MIL told me "I think all of you young girls (I'm 29, btw) are getting c-sections because you just cannot deal with the pain of giving birth." I'm still seething about this one because she knows it was hard for me to come to terms with the c-section. Usually she is very helpful and nice though.

BibiThree · 15/03/2007 13:01

MIL is a gem, even though I moan about her, but my faves are:

"I like your trousers, very slimming ... not like the ones you had on yesterday"

"If I were you I'd crush up a rusk and put it in her bottle" - about DD who was about 3 weeks old.

She also justified giving dd sweet things like cake, ribena (!) chocolate biscuits etc by telling me that it's because she's vegetarian. Becuase she doesn't eat meat, she craves a bit of sweetness and it's "feeding" for her. WTF? Has anyone ever craved sweet things and gone out for a bacon sarnie or a steak?

MagicGenie · 15/03/2007 13:51

Another gem of a MIL here but, below, a conversation we had at Christmas.

MIL: Have you bought everything?
Me: Yes, think so.
MIL: Got the joint?
Me: Yes.
MIL: Stuffing? Cranberry sauce?
Me: Yes
MIL: Veg?
Me: Yes.
MIL: Christmas pudding?
Me: Yes.
MIL: And what will you be offering for your second pudding?
Me: (Short silence) Second pudding?!
MIL: (Incredulous) Yes! Second pudding!!
Me: (Pissed off) What, you want a full Christmas dinner, then Christmas pudding, then a second pudding??!!!
MIL: (Incredulous and mightily pissed off) Oh yes! That's what I would expect to be offered.

Shortly after this, we had a 'spontaneous' conversation about what makes a good hostess and what doesn't.

I did poached pears. I didn't have any on principle and I know she didn't want any herself but she prised half a one down to save face.

Psycho · 15/03/2007 13:53

She was like the daughter I never had

(talking about Dh's ExGF!!)

chipmonkey · 15/03/2007 14:01

MIL: "But children need sugar don't they?" when I said that our children hardly ever have sweets.
"Oh so you're still doing that 'demand feeding' are you?" (she'd been trying to persuade me to put ds1 on a 'routine'. I told her sharply that if they're not fed on demand then your milk supply doesn't increase. There was a pause.
"Oh, maybe that's what happened to me, then, my milk dried up at 6 weeks." Good job I didn't take that advice then!

cornsilk · 15/03/2007 14:06

After a miscarraige, 'There was probably something wrong with it anyway.'

lady007pink · 15/03/2007 20:11

Jampot, I can't get over what you MIL said to you . It must have been a difficult day for you without your mum, having died so soon before your wedding.

jampot · 15/03/2007 20:24

well i got over it pretty quick by telling her that she's lucky she was coming at all as dh wanted to go to Gretna Green and not invite them

thethirdwisemonkey · 16/03/2007 16:25

jampot - that's awful

a few more of my MILs

we had problems conceiving and we're told we had a very small chance of success without fertility treatment. MIL said the doctors are just being SILYY (wtf?)

when I had ds (the treatment worked - yay) I had problems bf, and she said oh I produced so much milk my midwife said it was a shame there wasn't a local premature baby unit so I could have donated some !!!! thanks for that.

She currently has a hang up about ds being left handed because I am - good lord !!!!

thethirdwisemonkey · 16/03/2007 16:26

that should read SILLY not SILYY !!