Bedtime Stress!

[tigercub50]

I hate myself for this but I am getting so cross with DD (she's 8). Long story but we are (hopefully) coming out of a very tough time for our family. Because of what's happened, we have made allowances for any bad behaviour but DD is taking full advantage & pushing us to the limit. I am torn between feeling so sorry at what she has seen & experienced in her short life & getting thoroughly exasperated! She has just deliberately thrown herself out of bed. I have had tantrums, refusing to listen to her story, yet another " tummyache" & so on. It just feels so wrong to be cross when we know why she is acting like this but equally she needs to know when to stop. It's been a very busy active day too so she's probably overtired. Any advice welcome

I'm sorry you've been having a tough time tiger
I've not been through what you have so can't speak from experience, but I think kids need consistent boundaries and rules. Especially if their lives are unfortunately turbulent. A lot of things are out of their control, but if rules and consequences/rewards stay unchanged, it provides stability.
Tell her off and give her punishments as you would if she hadn't been going Through tough times. Have a word with her in the day time. Draw up specific rules that you expect her to follow with appropriate consequences (eg. No tv/iPad/favourite toy etc). The same with rewarding good behaviour.
It's not being tough on her and adding to her worries. It's being tough and helping her by providing stability.
I'm sure you're doing a fantastic job. We all just want the best for our kids. It's much like letting them into our beds when they're poorly. We know it's not the right thing to do, but we just love them and want to give them something nice, even just for a little while.
I hope things improve for you soon